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Subject: Fear

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Date Posted: 13:22:13 04/28/01 Sat

Distant Anguish
For so long I have felt safe
And across the tv, comes his face
Listening to the horrible news
It's way back when and I can see a bruise

I shut my eyes and there's his face
I see what he did in that place
I feel their pain, I feel their fear
I open my eyes and swear he's here

He's in a cell a few cities away
They say there's no reason I should be afraid
They ask me questions about my past
They opened the wounds and the pain comes fast

It've could've been me, it shouldn't have been them
Nobody should know this nightmare, but here it is again
I'm happy in my new life with my new name
Now he's moved to a prison in my city, it's all the same

He may as well be in my house, I am so scared
I can't sleep at night, is this normal, am I weird
I want to run, I want to hide
I want to get off this crazy ride

I hold my husband's hand and hold it tight
Together he and I can get through this fight
It just sucks to feel this way, it doesn't seem fair
But I just don't feel safe, and the police don't seem to care.


I am a survivor of a domestic violence relationship, I have been free for nine and a half years. In June of 2000, my ex husband was accused of beating his parents to death and is in jail awaiting trial for two counts of first degree murder. I wrote this poem a week after the crime. I was interviewed by police to attest to his violent past since there are no witnesses in this crime.

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[> Subject: Re: Fear

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Date Posted: 22:51:11 05/05/01 Sat

Cheryl, glad you are able to find some means of expression. Your poetry is beautiful and conveys your feelings beautiful.
Hang in there and continue writing and healing.

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