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Date Posted: Thu, January 17 2013, 22:14:07
Author: Don Poss
Author Host/IP: cpe-76-166-238-211.socal.res.rr.com / 76.166.238.211
Subject: A quick poem: 'No, After You, I Insist'

No … After You, I Insist
© January 2013, by Don Poss

Too many years to think and wonder
why I lived and you died.

I don’t think we planned it to happen;
it’s just that we suddenly were there
and suddenly I fired and you did not.

I wonder why?

You were alone.
I was on point.

Unexpected. But that is silly
considering the fact we were only
there because of the war and
searching each other out.

Still,
I knew you could be there,
but you had never just appeared
like a sudden slap.

If I could undo it …
If I could be certain you would
never kill my friends, and
If I could believe you,
I think I would undo it all.
I’ve wished for that so many
sleepless nights.

I’ve seen you fall…
blown backwards really,
and not get up nor
breathe again.
Too many holes to even
think of trying to stop your
life draining away, even if I had
wanted to.

I didn’t.

Your spirit fled so fast and
your eyes took on that look only dead
eyes can acquire to mock the irony of life…
and so easily give up the ghost without
any fight to live.

No 'by your leave' …
No 'sorry’bout the mess' …
No 'just deal with it.'
Just … gone.
Checked out.

Did God see you fall, like a sparrow, that day?
Did He care?

Pats on my back…
defensive laughter…
cursing your body and believe me,
many did that.

Going through your stuff,
discarding photos with rude
remarks.

Posed photos … as if you were a
hunting trophy.
I could not bring myself
to throw mine away after
all these years. Until finally,
I realized my eyes looked more
and more like yours. So I left
your crinkled black'n white soul
at a Buddhist temple in LA.

They were scared and
I was terrified at what
just happened to you …
what had just happened to me.

How easily I had fired in reflex, and how
easily you fell, just like the movies, and
I, oh how easily, just walked away,
forced grin … macho,
forever changed.

Better you than me,
so I’ve told myself Lord knows
how many times.

Would you have felt the same?
Would you have still wondered why?

What the hell were you doing
out there alone?

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