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Date Posted: 12/ 3/09 12:49:30pm
Author: Frances
Subject: Re: need y'alls input on this
In reply to: B 's message, "need y'alls input on this" on 12/ 3/09 11:36:28am

>having problems with the last 4 lines, specifically
>the last 2
>I originally wrote it by instinct this way...
>
>a solitary adventure
>a solitary feat
>
>clinging to the hope of someone
>I'm going to meet
>
>but switching to 1st person at the end with the rest
>in 2nd person seems a bit odd, what do y'all think of
>this?
>
>It's hard
>harder than you might imagine
>
>traveling the world alone
>in every cafe you sit
>there sits an empty seat
>
>you turn to look and say
>something simple, like...
>
>"It's a beautiful day"
>"Can you believe we're here?"
>
>but there's no one there
>just an empty chair
>
>you stare
>you stare...
>
>a camera on a tripod
>remote hidden in hand
>the world never knowing
>there's no one behind the lens
>
>trying to paint a happy smile
>a caption reading...
>"Look at me, I've traveled another mile!"
>
>but no one's there
>just an empty chair
>with no one to talk to
>
>you stare
>you stare...
>
>a solitary adventure
>a solitary feat
>
>a solitary adventure
>a solitary feat
>
>clinging to the hope of someone like you
>that you two will meet

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