Author:
Blue Team Selection Committee
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Date Posted: 19:36:42 07/08/02 Mon
In reply to:
I am sure you can guess
's message, "What I hated about high school" on 05:48:23 07/08/02 Mon
What I hated about HS was not sleeping, if you were not doing school work you were procrastinating doing school work. That was before I learned that you can procrastinate school work by sleeping.
If you want to be part of the Blue Team its easy, just send a self addressed stamped envelope to:
Blue Team Headquarters
Po Box #1
Hard Corps, LA 71497
Then just fill out the 37-page application with your 50 dollar alcohol/processing fee. No Checks or COD's will be accepted, please pay by money order from the Western Union at the Prien Lake Mall in Lake Charles. Be sure to include a recent passport-style photo in case you are selected, they are used for the ID's. Also include no less than one dozen letters of reccommedation, no relatives- YOU MAMA'S BOY! Be sure to attach any and all arrest records, don't worry this will only help your chances.
Blue Team is an equal opportunity organization and we do not discriminate based on age, sex, race, political affiliation sexual prefernce, religion, physical handicaps, penis size, actual Water Polo skill (but heart is very important here), virginity- or lack there of,...or if you don't understand basic economic principles. However, we do discrimate againts all those who drink import beers or Natural Light. We also do not accept those who are mentally unstable- for definition of unstable see Stacie on Wayne's World- does she remind you of yourself? If so, go buy a gun rack.
If you are deemed worthy to enter the second round of applicants, you will be abducted in the middle of the night by First Sergeant Mike Jones and his Delta Force team. (We are the training ground for the Delta Force) Then you will have to drink straight for 41 days in the urban desert, if you survive this test of endurance you will advance to the third and final round of indoctrination.
In the third round you will learn catchy and very very witty sayings to tell other people who are not in the Blue Team. For instance one that would apply to you right now is, "Don't cry to me, I AM NOT YOUR MAMA!" Another one might be, "Teach me to whine like a little BITCH because I am not in the Blue Team." You will also learn the glorious past of the BT, and what is expected of you in the future. This is not an easy road to travel, and not for the faint of heart. You better ask yourself, "Do I have what it takes to be a memeber of the BT? Am I Hard Corps enough? Do I think Bug's Bunny ever looked cute when he wore a dress?"
If you answered "Yes" to any of the above questions, then we will look forward to reviewing your application.
Sincerly,
The Blue Team Selection Committee
P.S.-- You hated high school b/c you were not cool. Perhaps you can be cool in college, write today don't delay.
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