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Date Posted: 14:03:54 10/09/01 Tue
Author: Noel
Subject: The New Barbie... Girl Stuff...

I got this in my e-mail today at work, #9 and #11 are my favorites. Had to leave my desk, I was laughing so hard..
Enjoy!

Finally a Barbie I can relate to!
>
> At long last, here are some NEW Barbie dolls to coincide with her and OUR
>
> aging gracefully. These are a bit more realistic...
>
> 1. Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames
>
> in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain and large-print
> editions
>
> of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.
>
> 2. Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn
>
> beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead.
>
> Comes with handheld fan and tiny tissues.
>
> 3. Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers
>
> grow.
>
> Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.
>
> 4. Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new,
>
> roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, too-muumuus with
>
> tummy-support panels are included.
>
> 5. Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have
> definitely
>
> taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with
> the
>
> pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.
>
> 6. No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines
>
> with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive
>
> age-blasting cosmetics.
>
> 7. Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheerleader is really
> paying
>
> off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs
> and
>
> Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white and cooler filled
> with
>
> doughnut holes and fruit punch.
>
> 8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change,
>
> and Alonzo(her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered, along
> with
>
> Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa
>
> Valley to open a B&B. includes a real tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard to
> Do."
>
> 9. Divorced Barbie. Sells for $199.99. Comes with Ken's house, Ken's car,
>
> and Ken's boat.
>
> 10. Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up with the
>
> ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead of dance steps.
> Clean
>
> and sober, she's going to meetings religiously. Come with a little copy
> of
>
> The Big Book and a six-pack of Diet Coke.
>
> 11. Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie wets her pants when she sneezes,
>
> forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is sick and tired of
> Ken
>
> sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking through the channels.
> Comes
>
> with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus this
>
> year, the book "Getting In Touch with Your Inner Self" is included.
>
>
>
>

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