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Date Posted: 21:37:54 05/15/02 Wed
Author: gem
Author Host/IP: 162.39.215.49
Subject: Re: Wondering?
In reply to: Solie 's message, "Re: Wondering?" on 19:41:44 05/15/02 Wed

I just foudn out my dad only has 6 months left, to live, if that.....and I'm hoping against hope, the last....times, wiht him, will be well spent. i'm kind of balling my eyes out, at the moment, and wishing things were differing.....(or different). I feel sad, inside, and feel like busting....up. I just want to cry. I feel like dying and a part of me, wishes, I could.

I am so worried, and wondering...its just the finality, of hearing it.......(and knowing it was coming). I just didn't want to believe it. I pray, I make it there ok, and....that we don't stress him out too much.

Do you think, you all could say a prayer for me?? That's all I ask, there's not much eles anywone can do. My life, I thought, would be different,t han it turned out.......and I regret so many stupid mistakes, and not enough time, well spent.....(and crashing so many doors)--thinking I had forever.....but knowing......we are all limited by fate, and time.

I feel guilty inside, and I hate the pain, and the burden.

I hate......all of life sometimes, and yet, embrace it,....with all my might......such a conflict of emotions, inside of me.

you know?

Oh well...sorry this isn't what I had wanted to say.

Gem

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