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Date Posted: 12:55:34 08/20/01 Mon
Author: Michele
Author Host/IP: 165.127.188.151
Subject: And the beat goes on

I am tired of hearing myself talk about the same things over and over again. I hesitate to post sometimes because I just cringe at how boring and nauseating it must get for yall. Oh she's up again, oh she's down again. And this is just in the span of a couple days sometimes. I just feel so pathetic. Unlovable and unattractive and just so damn OLD. I think the 40 thing knocking on my door is getting my attention. I don't know about the serzone. I am afraid to ask for an increase for fear of the side effects (extreme sleepiness). But if I take too much wellbutrin (I take half of what is prescribed for me which is a third of a typical dose to augment the serzone) then I get too hyper and anxious. And paranoid. That is the worse. The fear that people are tired of you. I interpret things all wrong. I am such a nut case. I don't know how any of you guys put up with me. But thank God that you do. Wish I could hide for a while but the way my life is structured I don't have the choice. Will you remember me when they lock me away and throw away they key?

Michele

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