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Date Posted: 23:11:55 06/16/01 Sat
Author: Hurricane
Author Host/IP: 64.24.86.52
Subject: Re: To HURRICANE: I'm here for you
In reply to: linda (sassy) 's message, "To HURRICANE: I'm here for you" on 14:06:53 06/16/01 Sat

Linda,
Thanks so much. I appreciate it. I've been thinking about how much this board has helped in such a short period of time already. A quick update: I started on celexa yesterday afternoon. I was on 10 mg for the first two days and will start at 20 tomorrow. Already I feel better. I'm more focused than I was (thanks ADD) and I feel like I have a weapon to keep the sadness at bay. Yesterday was such a bad day that four people asked if I was ok in about a 30 minute period. I felt terrible. Just couldn't even make myself smile when someone asked. The best I felt like I was doing was a lopsided grin, and that took a lot of effort. Today I spoke with one of those people again for a few minutes and he asked how I was doing today because he was a bit worried about how I was yesterday. It was very nice of him to ask. My husband is a wonderful person, but not in touch with his own feelings enough to wonder about mine. So it was nice to have someone ask me if I was better today than I was yesterday. Most people don't know about the depression yet. I haven't told my family at all (jewish family from NY, tell one, tell them all), and only a few friends. I'm wary to tell my family. They were surprised enough when I told them I was diagnosed with ADD. They're not unsupportive, but they can be overprotective and overpowering, so best to just let them think everything is hunky dory.

Another thing is that I've started keeping a journal. I take it with me everywhere, and I intend to copy it out for my therapist. It's kind of a running letter to her, anyway. I write better and more honestly if I feel that someone will actually read it, rather than just my own ramblings that won't be seen again. A couple of nights ago I wrote eight pages worth. I wrote for an hour. I had never had writing before be the therapy that that was. I wrote about how I felt, what my fears were, what I wanted for the future, and how I could help Nathan and me through this in our relationship. I had three or four things I wanted to write about, but after I wrote about them I just wrote and wrote and wrote and it was amazing what came out. Things I hadn't even thought of before. It was amazing.

Hurricane (Wendy, from North Carolina)

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