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Date Posted: 08:17:50 05/15/00 Mon
Author: LC
Subject: Re: The 10 Zoomandments
In reply to: Aea 's message, "The 10 Zoomandments" on 19:54:17 04/22/00 Sat

> I didn't write this either, but I thought y'all might
> get a kick out of them.
>
> The Ten Zoomandments
> Mount Hawkmoon 269 B.C.
>
> And Edge came down from the stage and bore a PowerBook
> with these ten Zoomandments typed upon it (there were
> twenty but Bono felleth off the catwalk and broketh
> the other laptop. He is okayeth though and was
> muttering something about "of America"...
> Ammmmazzzzing Gracccce hooow sweeeet the sounnnnnd...
> One piece of the broken rubble contained the word
> "nudity" but the part about whether it was good or bad
> is missing... Oh welleth...).
>
> Herewith are the the 10 which remain unscathed:
>
> I am the LV thy Bono which have brought thee out of
> the land of punk, out of the house of grunge, out of
> the kitchen of Mullen.
>
> Thou shalt have no other pissy pop stars before me.
>
> Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image or any
> likeness OF ANY THING that is of the stage above and
> the audience below without express permission of
> Island Records.
>
> Thou shalt not take the name of thy Bono in vain, nor
> thy Edge, nor thy holy bassist, nor thy wet-dream
> drummer, for thy Bono will not hold him guiltless that
> taketh these names in vain even though thou mayest be
> a famous rock critic for Rolling Stoneth.
>
> Remember the Joshua Tree to keep it holy.
>
> Honor thy Father McGuinness and thy Mother Records,
> that thy days, days, days may be long and run away
> like horses over the hills.
>
> Thou shalt not hold, thrill, kiss, kill.
>
> Thou shalt not commit adultery - go to Las Vegas and
> get married for awhile.
>
> Thou shalt not stealeth my notebooks nor my DAT tapes!
>
> Thou shalt not bear false witness against Oasis, for I
> am Bono, and Liam is my only son.
>
> Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's bootlegs, nor his
> concert tickets, nor his reflector version.
>
> And all the people saw the thunderings of the drums,
> and the lightnings of wicked Willie Williams, and the
> noise of the guitar, and the bassist smoking, and when
> the people saw It, Zoo TV, they grooved, and stood
> afar off from the local security. And they said unto
> Edge, speak thou with us into the mike, and we will
> hear; for with the sound level cranketh to the max, we
> haveth no choice!
>
> And Edge said unto the fans, fear not, for Bono's
> throat is fine and he shall sing, sing a new song, for
> how long I do not knoweth.
>
> ...and the people stood afar off, packed together like
> sardines, and Edge drew near unto the thick heart of
> darkness where Bono was, with a red guitar, three
> chords and the truth. While the drummer sayeth,
> verily, verily, it's all about droooms. And the
> bassist wandered off mumbling, "Bum bum ba-da bum bum,
> ba-da bum bum...deedledoo! Deedledoo! Deedledoo..."


"I am the LV thy Bono which have brought thee out of the land of punk, out of the house of grunge, out of the kitchen of Mullen."
--Oh funny, very funny! LOL! But what's LV?

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