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Date Posted: 04:51:41 08/30/02 Fri
Author: Toffly
Subject: Bikers have more fun

Actually, we don't. But we PROVIDE more fun to spectators, by showing off our pain and sometimes making total asses of ourselves.

Example: I will now spread this embarrassing-funny story on the internet.

I was riding downhill on a narrow-ish tarmac path. Up front I saw four girls walking with their backs turned towards me, side by side and thus blucking the whole road. I knew that just past them there would be uphill again, so to save my breath I didn't want to lose my godly speed. So I left the path momentarily and wooshed past them on the side.

Back on the path, I started pedalling uphill. Suddenly, the chain jumped off the cog wheels. I could pedal all I wanted (and I did) but without energy transmission I slowly lost speed and gradually came to a stop in the middle of the hill, maybe ten meters past the girls.

Then, me and bike started toppling to my right side. Usually, I'd just support myself by ingeniously using my foot to stand on. But during my vigourous pedalling, my shoe lace had got stuck on the right pedal, locking my shoe to it. So I fell all the way to my side, into a bush, very slowly, very gently, very much in control, and intensely pathetically.

This is what it must have looked like to the girls: a biker speeding past them to show off, and then, in order to show off some more, stopping slowly enough to know they could all see how good I was at falling.

They were all laughing their guts out as they passed me when I untangled myself from the bike. There was no way to retin my dignity, so in retrospect I regret that I didn't strike a charming pose instead, or pick a leaf up from the ground to study it with interest.

End of story the first.




This would maybe have been over-the-top embarrassing if I hadn't had it put into perspective a little earlier on the day.

A friend of mine is a teacher and also a keen biker. This day he unlocked his bike when he left home (maybe 6 miles from school, he rides to and fro every day), detatched the lock from the bike and strapped it around his waist, since it's the most practical way to carry that kind of a lock.

When he came to school he found that he'd forgotten the key to the lock back home. That lock is WAY too strong to break open, and his hips and shoulders are too big to squirm out of it.

To make things worse, this was a day when the pupils and teachers on his school were all presenting themselves with their name and one important attribute. So he ended up having to state in front of his entire class, "Hello, my name is [***bzzz***], and I can't get out of this lock."

I think his fuck-up is worse than mine, don't you?

Later that day, he did some workout wearing the lock. The tried to camouflage it as an erection.

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