Joke pack -- The Mad Wee Wee

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Date Posted: 07:52:49 09/17/01 Mon
Author: Jade
Subject: Joke pack

One day a blind man walked into a restaurant. The manager of the restaurant handed the blind man a menu. The blind man replied, "Sir, I cannot read the menu because I am blind."
The manager said, "Oh sir, I am terribly sorry is there anything you would like on this menu?"
"Well," said the blind man, "Would you please give me the fork of the last person that was here? That way I can order from there." The manager, a bit confused, went into the kitchen and brought a fork to the blind man. "Here's your fork, sir"
The blind man brought the fork up to his nose and sniffed at it a few times, then he said, "Ah yes! I'll have the meatloaf and salad."
The manager was a little shocked, but he went into the kitchen to get the blind man what he ordered.
The next day the blind man returned and the manager said, "Good day, sir," handing him a menu.
The blind man said, "Sir, remember me? I am the blind man."
"Oh Yes!" said the manager, "I'll go get you a fork!"
So he got a fork and brought it to the blind man. The blind man sniffed at the fork a few moments and then said, "I'll have the baked potato with cheese and a side order of spinach."
The manager, stunned, went to get the blind man's order. While he was in the kitchen, he said to his wife, "Mary, there's a blind man in there who orders his food by smelling the fork of the last person that was here! But tomorrow when he comes in, I'm going to test him and see if he's not bluffing!"
So the next day, the blind man returned and the manager said, "Hello sir! I remembered you this time! I'll go get you the fork!"
The manager went into the kitchen and said, "Mary, rub this fork around you pussy." His wife, a little confused, did as she was told, and so the manager ran the fork out to the blind man.
The blind man sniffed the fork, and after a few moments he said, "Hey!! I didn't know Mary worked here!"

* * *

A secretary went into the psychiatrist's office and said, "Doctor, there is a man in the waiting room who thinks he's invisible".

The doctor said, "Tell him I can't see him right now."

* * *

Jack decides to go skiing with his buddy Bob. They load up Jack's station-wagon and head north. After driving for a few hours, they get caught in a terrible blizzard. They pull into a nearby farmhouse and ask the attractive lady of the house if they can spend the night.

"I'm recently widowed," she explains, "and I'm afraid the neighbours will talk if I let you stay in my house."

"Not to worry," Jack says, "we'll be happy to sleep in the barn."

Nine months later, Jack gets a letter from the widow's attorney. He calls up his friend Bob and says, "Bob, do you remember that good looking widow at the farm we stayed at?"

"Yes, I do."

"Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night and have sex with her?

"Yes, I have to admit that I did," said Bob.

"Did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"

Bob's face turns red and he says, "Yeah, I'm afraid I did."

"Well, thanks a lot, pal... she just died and left me her farm."

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