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Subject:

Dad's

Author:
Bethany K

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Date Posted: 10:41:18 06/13/01 Wed

He says that's not the case. I mean, his kids are 16 and 12 and have been use to being on their own for several years anyway. They stay home when he's working (still on the road) and do just fine - they're very responsible that way.

Here are my concerns:

A) I don't KNOW his kids. After 2.5 years of marriage, they are strangers. I don't know how I could handle walking in to ready-made-family at this point, especially considering the life they are accustomed to. I'm quite the "over-protective" parent type and I can just imagine the conflicts that would arise from my being what they percieve to be overbearing.

B) My kids are happy now. They have all commented that they like it here more than there. They NEVER ask about Mr. B and his kids. They don't even seem to care that they are no longer around.

C) While I respect what he's doing now by making things right with his kids, I can't forget what got him to this point. I can't forget that his daughter called him for 3 weeks every day before he returned her messages. I can't forget that he allowed them to live with a 26 yo man he barely knew because he wouldn't speak to their mother for 2 years and therefore didn't know what was going on. I can't forget that he didn't see his oldest child for 18 years until *I* made him go visit her the year we got married. I can't forget that he dumped all his financial problems on me to solve, after witholding his situation when we were first married.

I was looking for a cancelled check that he needed while we were on the phone and you would not BELIEVE the amount of $$ I came across that *I* had paid for HIS bills he had before we ever met. It made my blood boil.

Now, the pro's:

I'm unemployed. Self-explanatory.
It *could* very well be wonderful if I go back (then again, it could be the same shit in 3 months).
I am happy. I have friends, I'm getting in touch with my family who I've sorely neglected for way too long. The kids and I are happy just being the 4 of us, hanging out with friends or just together.
Based on his past insecurities, I would have to give up many of my friends *again* because he can't deal with single and/or male friends - (Jill = Single. DeeJ=Single w/kid. David = Seperated w/kids. Etc. Etc.) Add to the fact that he *has* no friends other than a few guys he fishes with - I don't like that. I like people around. I like to be able to call a friend and say "Let's take the kids to the park!" We never even had a BBQ the whole time we were married. ONE time my 2 brothers came over after Thanksgiving Dinner and had a beer. That's the extent of our socialization. That ain't me. And it's not how I want my kids to be. I want them to be comfy being around people - not like his kids who don't know how to deal with ANYONE. KWIM?

~sigh~

Sorry, I'm trying to sort this all out. The shower ran cold with me standing there just *thinking*. I'm so *tired* of *thinking*!!!

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