Subject:  Re: ME too! do I really need a consultation? |
Author:
Svenhair
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Date Posted: 05/ 9/02 1:14pm
In reply to:
Karen
's message, "ME too! do I really need a consultation?" on 05/ 9/02 12:53pm
OK, Karen....
Here's where I can try to help outside the role of a typical hairstylist.
First, It isn't unusual for a guy to want you to stay exactly the way you are. There is an undeniable social attachment (in most mens minds) over long hair and sexual attraction. It also isn't unusual for someone to become attached to something that is familliar and unchanging. Now, here's the funny part... That familliarity is exactly the same feeling that later in a relationship that can make it feel stale and unmoving.
Here is my advice. Depending on how long you guys have been married, you may need to have a little chat. The women I've counselled and eventually got "permission" to cut tells me it goes like this:
Tell your stud that this is something that will make you happy
Tell him you need his love and affection regardless of what you look like.
Tell him this is what most couples refer to as a moment of compromise and you will be learning just what you mean to each other throughout this change.
Observe his reaction and look for clues of his perception of ownership (you, your hair, etc..) Gentley remind him it's your head, your hair, and your the one that has to be happy with it first.
A little story from a Guy who wrote me once...
When my wife wanted to go short after the baby, my initial reaction made me look like a selfish non-caring hubby. After I understood how much this meant to her, I gave in. She surprised me by not going as short (initially!) as the pic she showed me... so that took the edge of immediate loss away as she triumphantly returned from the salon sporting her new look. Since then I have learned to love all her looks (although, some less than others!) Seems she wanted someone who'd let her take a little risk!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hair styles and power struggles foir identity can give little clues to just how close you really are.
OK, so here ends the "Love Lines" part of this email and now onward to the makeover consultation instructions:
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I want you to get no less than 3 consultations from three different salons. Be prepared to go to an up-style salon for the first cut. This sounds harsh, but do not go to your current stylist. It is time to shop around. (Remember what I said about familliarity? ... It goes for the stylist too. You need someone who doesn't know you to give you objective opinions. Here's how you do it:
Do you know someone with hair like yours? Everyone knows a girl who has a head of hair and a haircut that always looks great no matter what the weather or occasion... right?
Step 1
Alrighty,
Call or go see that girl. Tell her what you think of her hair and personal style. (a compliment) ask her how much of an influence you that she thinks her stylist has had on her. Listen for clues of "He/She really is talented with my hair.
Go to a mall or other public place... Approach a few attractive strangers who maybe even has a cut similar to Rachaels. Ask where they have their hair done because, you really admire their hair. This is awkward, yes.. But it builds character. Do it! Write down the name of the salon and if possible the stylist. Be picky about who you approach. You are in luck if a stylist or salon comes up twice.
Step 2
Go scope out the salons. Pay attention to who is coming out. Look for a trendy salon with a lot of traffic. (A dead salon is dead givaway that people do not come back)
Case the joint! Try to peek inside... Is the salon staffed with a younger feeling set of stylists with a modern individual sense of style? Is it neat? clean? organized?
Pay particular attention to any salon personell. Are they well coifed? Up with the latest looks? What about the receptionist? Salons will almost always try out the latest styles on the desk personnel to guage a public reaction and advertise their abilities.
If you get lucky and spot the haircut your after... ask and jot down the name of the stylist who's handiwork you admired.
Unless the spirit moves you; Don't leave your name or make an apppointment at this time. You may calmly suggest you were in the area saw the salon and that you are just looking.
Step 3
You should have a short list of salons by now that you can approach for a consultation. Do this part over the phone. Ask for a menu of available services. Ask for the price of a cut with your selcted stylist. If it fits your budget, make an appointment for (be explicit here) CONSULTATION only. Tell them plainly you are too busy to schedule the cut the same day.
OK, (here's my little secret)
Go to the salon dressed for work. Pretend this is a job interview if you like. Makeup, hair and clothes should all say "I am a professional!". Don't dress like someone else. Just go dressed up and finished. This is key! Here's why... A professional is percieved by the salon as someone who needs catering to. Carry an air about you that expect to get better treatment because as far as you are concerned if you don't , you will let everyone at city magazine you work for know. Kidding.
But that is the attitude we're going for here!
Step 4 (the fun part)
Go to the salon and tell the manager or stylist you are looking for a new look. You are taking a new job... just moved to the area... Whatever conveys the idea that you are looking to find a new salon to call home. (this is the chance for the salon to sell you.)
Interview the stylist:
Avoid the third degree, be loose and casual keep a sense of humor.
How long have you been doing hair? Where did you work before?
How do you keep up on trends? What are the current trends now?
Lastly,
If this person listens... is creative.... personable.... not in a hurry... helpfull.... unintimidating.... (all the traits you should look for in a guy...!?)
Then finally ask them what your options are in a totally new style.
Take your time and listen. TO EVERYTHING! Don't be closed minded about anything, you are going to be learning a few things. (remember you not getting your cut today and you may not even choose this stylist!) Let them sell you. If they seem indifferent or bored, lack any real suggestions or advice... then politely excuse yourself and move on.
This is your chance to hire and fire someone. Don't let the tables turn against you. In your mind, act like you are in charge. In your heart listen. You may be surprised.
Step 5
You've interviewed at least 2-3 salons/ stylist. (maybe more)
You've got a lot of advice... You've spoken with the ones you liked about the SMG bevelled bob and other cuts... You're quite confident you can take all the advice and boil it down to one particular style/cut. Collect pics, magazine pics, internet pics, www.hairdos.com pics, www.hairboutique.com , etc...
Assemble your folder of haircuts and go for it.
You should be very confident about your choices at this time.
Step 6
Enjoy your new look! And wite us back so that we can all see just how well this process works when you have a plan!
Luvs to you both,
--Richey
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