Re: Read this after you've finished -- Northwest Nerds Bookclub

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Date Posted: 07:40:55 02/01/00 Tue
Author: Marla
Subject: Re: Read this after you've finished
In reply to: Catherine 's message, "Read this after you've finished" on 11:42:16 01/25/00 Tue

Okay, I've finished plowing and am stunned by the comments made here...but only because they mirror my own thoughts so perfectly!

As I was finishing the book on the subway this morning, I actually muttered "Yeah, right" OUT LOUD when I came to the part where Graziela turns up in the boutique. I'm disappointed that the author chose to use that plot device twice. It was suspicious enough the first time, since (a) how many people go to the Galapagos Islands and (b) what are the chances that your long-lost friend/cousin would not only be there, but be your tour guide? But the second time it happens? Please...that was just hokey. On top of that, what purpose did Graziela's re-emergence really serve? The reunion lasted for about three pages, and didn't really spark Jane's moment of clarity regarding the evolution of friendship. That kind of happened on its own, I thought, and at a very strange moment (when Martha remarks, "Jane, you're so literal-minded." Well, duh!).

That said, I did notice that Jane's moment of clarity hit a little close to home, as I have tendencies much like hers (i.e., seeking a reason for everything when sometimes there just isn't one). At the same time, I can certainly appreciate the discussion of the evolution of friendship, particularly her realization (and Chris' discussion here touches on this) that friendships do evolve and sometimes die, not because you no longer like the person or because they no longer mean something to you, but because your life dynamic changes and their contributions to your life and yours to theirs no longer seem as significant. It's a sad reality, but oh so true. It actually reminds me of conversations I had with my mom right after everyone moved away from Wichita for college. She always used to tell me that moving on is a part of life, that I may end up losing some of my friends over time, only to gain others that are just as meaningful. I always thought she was full of shit, but now that I'm older, I'm learning that she was often right. I can't even list all of the people I used to hang out with in junior high and high school (and even college and graduate school) that I no longer know anything about. And, as Chris mentioned, such is the case within this group here. Unfortunately, we all know we feel closer to certain members of the group than others, and we also know that that dynamic is constantly shifting. From year to year, I can practically map who I've lost touch with and who I've re-established bonds with. The nice thing is that I can still say that I have some sense (even if it's minimal) of what's going on with everyone. But it takes work on both sides of a friendship...it doesn't just happen.

What really bothered me about Jane throughout this novel is that she was completely obsessed with determining the singular event that altered the course of her friendship with Martha without ever attempting to sit down with Martha and just catch up. Maybe this would have sparked her realization about the circle of friendships (and life in general) much sooner...though I guess we wouldn't have a novel, would we?

One other topic that I wanted to touch on briefly was the actual secret that fueled the feud among the Barlows. In an earlier posting, I asked if anyone had any theories on what this could be. Did anyone have any idea it would be so incestuous? I, for one, did not, and was genuinely surprised to learn the truth. It's kinda soap opera in its drama, but still, a real plot twist.

Okay, enough of my diatribe. Wanted to get all of this out while the novel is still so fresh in my mind. It was certainly a "chick book," as Chris called it, but it also touched on subjects that I found very valuable and interesting (the exploration of Darwin and his discoveries on the Islands, the nature of friendship and family, etc.). Can't wait to hear everyone else's thoughts...

> Are we having this discussion now? I'm not sure. I
> had the flu a week ago so I've finished it - don't
> read this if you haven't.
>
> I don't know what to really say... I liked the book
> overall. I did think a few things were hokey ie why
> bother saying she went there to get over her divorce -
> she is obviously quite sensitive when it comes to
> relationships, so I have trouble believing it is now a
> non-issue when there would probably be parrellels in
> feelings of rejection, how she communicated etc. I
> also thought having the shop be owned by the same lady
> as was her grandma's aid was dumb.
>
> Who wants to chat about this - let me know, I've got
> to go now.... there were good things... ie when she
> talked about her childhood...

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Replies:

Re: Read this after you've finished -- Catherine, 17:07:54 02/04/00 Fri