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Date Posted: 19:12:51 02/09/00 Wed
Author: MaXiM ReaLiTy
Subject: Tomorrow Night...

{The scene is set inside Maxim Reality's home in southern California. He is in his own personal gym and is working out. The doorbell rings and the scheduled HWF Camera Crew is greeted by a beautiful woman.}



{The camera crew stares in awe as she lets them in. Maxim calls them from upstairs and they begin walking towards his weight room.}

Maxim Reality: Welcome to my home, boys. How do you like the weather here in California?

HWF Reporter: It's wonderful, but Maxim, was that lady downstairs Shannon Elizabeth?!

Maxim Reality: As a matter of fact, it was. In case you haven't caught on, she's my girlfriend.

HWF Reporter: Whoa, that's some pretty heavy stuff! She played Nadia in American Pie and she also has another movie coming out soon! Geez! But anyways, what do you have to say about this past Monday's War?

Maxim Reality: Well, the majority of the event kicked serious ass. But I really think the people would have liked to see me kick the shit out of Ryan McBain. But I'm gonna have to wait until next time we meet up. And next time, McBain, we will both be in 100% condition and therefore you nor I will have a reason to pussy out. And whenever that time comes I am gonna be able to unload on you like I originally wanted to! I'm glad I picked up a win, but a forfeit isn't something I'm gonna be proud of. Once the time comes when McBain decides to step into the squared circle with a real competitor, I'm gonna put him to sleep. But, personally, I thought the rest of the show was a great follow-up to Redemption.

HWF Reporter: Care to give us a brief synopsis of your opinions on the show?

Maxim Reality: Well, it definitely started off strong, but when Joker came out to bitch about sucking at the pay-per view, I almost fell asleep. I mean, who is this guy kidding? He was an awesome wrestler, but recently he just plain sucks! It's not the Prez' fault his moronic ass didn't win at the PPV. He definitely doesn't deserve a title shot! And even if he did, I could easily take his spot as #1 Contender. And I'm very glad HBK, pissed those nWd punks off. Because there was a small period of time when they were a dominant stable here in the Hardcore Wrestling Federation, but nowadays it's the Prime Time Playaz era! After that whole ordeal a few jobber matches occurred, but surprisingly some of those jobbers got some good moves. But they need a lot more work if they wanna be able to hang with any of the PTP. Next, the newest Prime Time Player, Mark Dunn had a match-up against Jeff Matthews and IcE and as everyone expected Dunn made those little panzies bleed! I mean, hell, it was a Three Way Dance and he eliminated BOTH of his opponents. That almost never happens! But if you're a Playa, it happens a lot more than expected! Next Jake Blade beat Hardcore Jay with the 'Final Breath'. But afterwards, Jay Man planted his ass on the steel rampway and I'm glad he did because Jake Blade pisses me off. The came my match with McBain, but he was incapacitated so he couldn't fight. Then came a stroke of genius from none other than Maxim Reality. I began making fun of the New World DisOrder because it's easy and I knew they'd attack me. And then came my fellow stable mates. Balla nailed Reznor with the Decapitator and C-Rock showed everyone he can still kick some serious ass. Then the Establishment "tried" jumping us and then the show ended. Though, the main event didn't happen I think the show was pretty successful.

HWF Reporter: Definitely. But Maxim, recently none other than Corey Reznor said some things during his last interview and many were very positive. What do you think about all that?

Maxim Realtiy: Truthfully, I appreciated Reznor's remarks a lot. Besides all of the Prime Time Playaz, I respect Reznor more than anyone in this federation. He has accomplished a lot of impressive shit and beating me was one of his most miraculous. Reznor, you said you'd get pissed if I talked shit about you after you gave me props. You don't have to worry about that Reznor. I don't operate that way. That's the bullshit way that only dickheads use. Me, I respect only those who deserve it and you, of all people, have earned my respect. And I am glad I injured you because it shows I injured the Supreme High-Flying Machine. But you also injured the Extreme Technician. So we both did pretty well. And I also think our match at Redemption was the best of our series. And I think this because I fought as best I could against you and it payed off. Of course, you won and obtained the European Title, but tomorrow night, I get a title of my very own. And that's good enough for me.


HWF Reporter: Yes, that's right. This upcoming Thursday you will be in an 8 Man Battle Royal for that self-titled championship. What are your thoughts on that match up?

{Maxim wipes the sweat off his forehead from his work out and gets ready to speak.}

Maxim Reality: Well lets start off with my first opponent and the one man in the match I think really deserves this title besides me, Nyte Ryda. The HWF Intercontinental Champion is a great friend of mine and he's always had my back in rough times. And I'll always have his back whenever he needs me. Like back in the day, when Blue Devil and I won the Hardcore Tag Titles he joined up with Da Kliq. Therefore, we had to have a match to decide who kept both titles. Nyte Ryda kept Corey Reznor from interfering and I won the match-up. And for helping me out, Nyte Ryda became the other half of the Hardcore Tag Champions. Ever since then Nyte Ryda and I have been close and always treat each other with tons of respect. Because if we didn't respect each other, we'd probably beat the crap out of each other! Nyte Ryda, like I've been saying, we'll be friends no matter what, but during our match I'm gonna treat you like any other opponent in that ring. Because that's how I operate. But as for your idea: 'You and me working together to make it Nyte Ryda vs. Maxim Reality'. I am totally down with that. Besides, you and I are the only reason people are gonna watch the match! So after we've thrown out all those losers, it will be Playa vs. Playa. And whenever two members of the PTP step into the ring together the show gets lit up! So Nyte Ryda, you and I will both kick serious ass in that match, and if you win or I win, we will still go out and celebrate the victory. Because, like Balla always says, we're not just stable mates, we're family.

{Maxim begins to gather his thoughts as he thinks of his next opponent.}

My next opponent is some guy named Jake Blade. Now I really don't know much about this guy because I don't find him a threat to me at all. Let's see, from what I hear this guy thinks he's really tough because he beat IcE at the pay-per view? Big fucking deal! Anyone could have beaten IcE at the PPV. He is a shitty wrestler! My grandmother could kick his ass! So don't go around thinking you have any talent whatsoever because you definitely don't! You think just because you kiss Reznor's ass means you're a tough guy? Give me a break! Just because you live in Corey's ass doesn't mean you have a chance at beating me! Or anyone else for that matter! You think you're gonna just fly through this match like it's not gonna be tough at all? Far from it, loser. You're gonna have to put your body to the limit if you want to beat someone like me. If you think you had somewhat of a rough time beating IcE, then you've got one helluva match for Thursday! Matches like this one are what the HWF is all about and I guess it takes someone like me to show you that! I've beaten guys like you before Jake Blade and I'm gonna do it again in this match. After losing the European Strap to your hero, I'm craving some more gold and the fans want me to get some more too. And once I win this match, I will have all the gold I want. But just winning against an nWd member won't be enough for me. I'm gonna make you hurt. I'll admit, your 'Final Breath' maneuver is pretty impressive. It's innovative and painful, but you will know what pain is all about when I hook you into a Taste Of Reality! I'm so sick and tired of hearing empty threats from losers like you, Jake Blade. So from now on, if I want any kind of shit from you, I'll just squeeze your fucking head! So if your smart, you'll stay as far away from me as possible. Because I am out for the blood of an nWd member and it looks like you're next in line!!

{Maxim begins using his modified rowing machine and starts talking about his next opponent.}

My next victim will be some guy who calls himself Riot. Now he's one of the jobbers I mentioned has some decent finishers, but they're not gonna even touch me. And if Riot is smart he won't try and touch me either! But frankly, I think he may someday take White Devil's position as King of the Jobbers. Who knows? Maybe someday, he'll get a title shot! Hey, there's an idea for the Prez: A title made specifically for the mass of jobbers in this federation. It doesn't have to be gold. Cardboard would be nice for people like Plague and Midnight Rider. That way, they can all be proud of their pitiful accomplishments. Personally, I think the only jobber who has a chance of busting lose is Eclipse. I like his style, but he needs a lot more work to get where I am right now. But, now back to Riot, I don't know what you were thinking when you asked to join this match. Do you really think you stand a chance? Hell, Jake Blade could probably kick your ass! And believe me, after I nail you with the Thundershock, apply a Taste Of Reality, or hit you with the Switchback you will not get up. And that will be all of you in the match. After about five moves, someone is gonna throw your scrawny ass out of the ring. Hell, all you're doing is taking up space in that match! I'd prefer to fight someone with a little bit more talent! I mean, who have you beaten besides, Plague and Asylum? No one special! You're gonna need a lot more improvement if you want to survive a match against someone like me. And since I'm on the topic of jobbers, White Devil will be another opponent of mine. This guy is just annoying. Every interview he does is exactly the same as the one before. Here's how it goes every time: drops from ceiling (been done before), makes fun of crowd, says 'go to hell', flicks off crowd, and leaves. By the time I hear 'Come As You Are' I'm already asleep! What makes this idiot think he can contend with someone like me or Nyte Ryda? Is he on crack or something? I mean what titles has he won? Okay, the Hardcore Title. But what titles has he won that he held for more than 2 days?! NONE! Does anyone here know why? And no, it is not because he gets screwed. It's because he fucking sucks! He has no talent whatsoever. And even if he did, he wouldn't be able to beat me. And just because he's the King of the Jobbers doesn't impress me. And it's not somehting he should be proud of! I still don't understand what gives him such a high confidence level? Because he wears facepaint? Because his finisher is an inverted DDT? I mean, nothing about him impresses me or anyone else. He's just plain boring. And the only reason he's still in this federation is because he's on a contract. If he wasn't then the Prez would probably fire his ass in a second! And if he actually won this match, which he won't, it's obvious he's name it something stupid like "Hell's Title" or something gay like that. If White Devil, has any common sense at all, then he'll call the Prez and ask him to be taken out of the match, so I don't beat his ass to death! So bring your gay Devil Death Drop with you, King of the Jobbers because I'm gonna shove it straight up your ass!

{Maxim takes a short rest and gets off the rowing machine.}

The next guy I've gotta beat the shit out of is the one and only Jeff Matthews. Now this guy had a match against me a while back and he was so fucking confident that he was gonna kick my ass, but did he? NO! Hell, he didn't even come close! It was a last man standing match and I don't even think I was down for more than 6 seconds! That match was such a breeze for me the only thing I can remember was beating the absolute crap out of you! Then when you realized you were doing really shitty in this federation you decided to bring your boyfriend Road Dogg in. Yeah, that almost worked out for you. If anything, it made you less popular! Bringing in your white trash cousin didn't do shit for you because you still suck! And to tell you the truth, I doubt you can get any better than where you are at now. But you can get a lot worse. And when someone like Riot throws you out in the Battle Royal, you're career will mean nothing to anyone. People will forget about you in about 3 days! Hell, people already have forgotten about you! When I was told you were in this match, I had no idea who you were! And then I realized you were some loser I beat the living crap out of! Just like White Devil you should do whatever possible to get out of this match to avoid me hurting you. But if you want to get a Grade A ass-whooping just walk up to me or Nyte Ryda in the beginning of the match and we will supply you with the hurting of a lifetime! It's one thing to be shitty once you start in a federation, but you started off strong and then got shitty and that's like 10 times worse! If you even think you stand a chance at winning this match, then you're gonna need a freakin' tank to stop someone like me from ripping your face off!! So I hope you're prepared for the Extreme Technician cuz I'm gonna give you quite a hurting! And since I'm on the subject of people I'm gonna hurt, in comes GX. Personally, I have no idea who this loser is. And frankly, I don't give a damn! How many interviews has he done? One? Gee, that's impressive{sarcastic}! He's not the brightest star in the galaxy if he wants to step into the ring with me. His first match in the Hardcore Wrestling Federation is an 8 Man Battle Royal with Maxim Reality and Nyte Ryda included? Wow! he's gonna get ripped apart! I've never seen this guy wrestle so, to me, I think he can't accomplish anything spectacular. And hell, even if he could, I doubt it could even effect me! What the hell does GX stand for anyways? Let me think…okay I got it. 'X' is an abbreviation for XXX. Which means pornography. And the 'G' stands for 'Gay'. So what this guy is all about is Gay Porno. Well, now I don't think I wanna step into the ring with him. He might try and take advantage of me! And I assure you, if he tries that, I'm gonna put a hole in his head with my fist!! If he wants, he can come out to the ring all he wants and talk shit, but it won't matter because on Thursday he's gonna see what I do to little fairies like him! If I thought he was capable of anything mildly dangerous, I might be worried to fight him, but he isn't capable of anything!! So I have no fear whatsoever of stepping into the ring with his jobber ass! I just hope he doesn't bring any of his gay porn to the ring.

{The camera crew laugh and Maxim begins benching some weights and begins talking about his last opponent}

Now, my last opponent will be the Hardcore Icon, Cactus Jack. Now Cactus Jack, as I recollect, the match before your short retirement was a Six-Pack Match with me included. I also remember that you lost, by being put through a table off the top rope by former Prime Time Player, Syco. And afterwards, I won the match by beating Syco. So, that should show you that I have more skill than you do. Nextly, you haven't been in action for quite some time. Sure you had a few matches here and there, but Mankind did most of the work in your tag matches, and your singles matches weren't that impressive. In your shot at the Intercontinental Title, you got beat by the one and only Nyte Ryda. Now I think that I have the ability to beat Nyte Ryda, but it would be very challenging. And if I can beat him, then I can beat you. Sure, you've done a helluva lot in this federation and accomplished a lot during your career, but to me that won't matter on Thursday. I definitely have some respect for you and your boyfriend Mankind, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna lay down for you in that Battle Royal. No, I'm gonna do everything in my power to get you weak enough so I can toss your ass out of that ring! And the way you've been wrestling lately, I think that shouldn't be too hard. I'll admit back in the day, you were a force to be reckoned with. But you're older now and have lost a lot of your edge. I'm not saying you can no longer get into the ring and mix it up with the HWF superstars. I'm just saying that you no longer have what it takes to step into the ring with The Extreme Technician. Maybe ten years ago when you were in your absolute prime you could have beaten me, but in this day and age, you don't stand a chance. Your stable wants to mess with the Prime Time Playaz? Good! Because I enjoy fighting people with more experience than me! It makes my matches even more challenging. I mean, seriously, lets look at the entire Establishment. First, there's the Prez, I got no problem with him whatsoever. In fact, I have lots of respect for him since he built this federation single-handedly from the ground up. Then, there's Commissioner Shawn Michaels. Now I don't have any problems with him either because he is an amazing athlete and a very charismatic figure. But if either of these guys wanna send their dogs at the PTP, then I'll eventually get irritated with them. Now onto, the actual wrestlers. Mankind: a boring, fat, washed-up World Champion. This guy has lot whatever edge he used to have and now he's just plain annoying. The fact he won the World Title back is beyond me, but I don't give a damn because one of the Prime Time Playaz will come along and take it away from him in an instant. Next, there's Cactus Jack. He's exactly the same as Mankind only he isn't the World Champion and frankly I don't think he deserves any actual titles. Next, you've got the Jay Brothers. Let's see, Nyte Ryda beat both of them, Balla beat Jay Man several times and probably Hardcore Jay a few times, I beat both of them, and C-Rock probably beat them both at once! These guys definitely don't have what it takes to hang with the Prime Time Playaz. Now, I'm assuming everyone who hears this is gonna say "Geez, Maxim, those were some bold words you said!" And do you know why I talk all this shit? Because I can back it up!! Unlike people like Jake Blade, I have the skills it takes to back up my shit! The only people Jake Blade can beat are washed-up jobbers like IcE. But he's not important to me. Back to Cactus. Jack, you are definitely a Hardcore Icon, but I am not a hardcore icon. I am an Extreme Technician. Actually, I am THE Extreme Technician! Ya see, you wrap shit in barbed-wire and call yourself hardcore. I put people's legs in chairs and give them dragon screw leg whips. In a way, our styles our similar, but in another way, they are very different. I suppose we are just gonna have to wait till Thursday to find out which style is more effective in an 8 Man Battle Royal. Because you're not messing with just any wrestler here, Cactus. You're messing with the one, the only, and soon to be legendary Maxim Reality!!

{Maxim stops benching his weights and takes a rest.}

HWF Reporter: Well it sounds like you are pretty mentally prepared for your match this Thursday. We would all like to wish you good luck.

Maxim Reality: Thanks. So we're through here?

HWF Reporter: Well actually could you tell us a little more about your relationship with Miss Elizabeth?

Maxim Reality: Well, there's not much to say. When I was away on my personal time, I met her at a funeral (which I don't wanna talk about). And eventually we started spending time together and one thing led to another and now we're living happily together.

HWF Reporter: Well that is great. I wish you both the best of luck with your relationship. Thank you very much for giving us this opportunity to talk to you about all of this.

Maxim Reality: Any time. Well I'll probably see you guys backstage at Hardcore Thursday. Peace.

{The camera crew is escorted to the door by Maxim and the interview ends.}



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