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Date Posted: 11:08:00 01/04/00 Tue
Author: The Joker
Subject: Mankind, Team Extreme, read this!


***As the lights go out inside of the Hardcore Wrestling Federation Arena, the Joker’s voice comes over the P.A. “Dying time’s here!” The crowd boos as the Joker’s theme song comes over the speakers. The lights turn green and then a spotlight turns on, showing the Joker standing on the railing at the bottom of the HardcoreTron. He raises the Television Title in the air and the boos get louder. He makes a motion with his index finger, as if he is slitting his jugular. The music instantly stops and the Joker places the Television Title over his right shoulder. He raises a microphone to his lips and begins speaking.***

Joker: “Welcome…to…HWF…is…Joker. It’s time once again, for everyone, to kiss…my…ass! ***The crowd boos loudly*** Shut up! ***The crowd begins to chant “Asshole! Asshole! Asshole!”*** Yeah, like I care what you fat bastards think about me. Now, I was watching all of the interviews that were going on out here, and might I say, they suck. I mean, Nyte Ryda comes out, talks about how the Prime Time Players are gonna win the war, yadda yadda yadda, then says something that I couldn’t help but hear. He actually said, “Maxim Reality is going to kick your ass next Monday and take the title.” Nyte Ryda, Maxim Reality couldn’t beat me at the Pay-Per-View, what makes you think that he’s going to beat me Monday? And besides, Maxim Reality was eliminated first, so if anyone deserves a title shot, it’s Hardcore Jay. Now, once again, there was no competition for the Joker at the Pay-Per-View. I mean, I had to fight some guy who thinks that he can intimidate people by lifting weights and talking about how he’s going to break our ankles. The other guy I had to fight beats people by hitting them with Singapore Canes. Now, I know that this “Hardcore Jay” persona has defeated many jobbers, but he was absolutely no match for the Hardcore Wrestling Federation Savior. I mean, this federation does not have enough heels. I mean, the only heels here are White Devil, Xerox, Creed, Napalm, and the New World Disorder. I mean, of course the New World Disorder are the most dominant heels around here. Now, I’ve noticed that as of late, Mankind has actually won the World Title. How did that happen? Now, Mankind, you talk about how Balla was supposed to win the match, but he was off by a long shot. Mankind, the only thing that is going to complete your championship reign is to defeat C-Rock on Monday. But that will be your first win as the new champion, since the Joker ***The crowd boos as the mention of the Joker*** Shut the ~censored~ up! As I was saying, that will be your first win as a champion, since the Joker is going to kick your ass and throw you into your grave on Thursday!”



Joker: “Mankind, you have no chance of climbing out of that grave, you have no chance of throwing me in that grave, you have no chance of winning the match. Because Mankind, you have no idea what you are going up against. The Joker has not lost a match since Crippling Virus ’99. That has got to tell you’re sorry ass something. The Joker has defeated Blue Devil, Maxim Reality, Hardcore Jay, and so many other jobbers that it is not even funny. Now, Mankind, you talk about how you I flap my lips more than RuPaul, about how the Joker is a great interviewer until he starts talking about you, and about how you are going to defeat me. Mankind, I’ve heard your list of grievances and complaints that you have, and I have a solution for you. And that solution is to shut…the hell…up! Open your eyes! Look what you’re looking at! This is power. This is charisma. This is the man who will end your career. You will be in such bad shape that the veterinarian will have to put you to sleep. Mick, if you look up old age in the dictionary, it says, “See Mankind.” Then when you look up Mankind, it says, “1. The Human Race 2. Men as opposed to women 3. Fat, pathetic loser that is going to have his career ended by the Joker.” And that is exactly what the definition of Mankind is. Because Thursday, I am going to end your career. And then you have the audacity to walk out through the Joker’s curtain, come down the Joker’s ramp, step into the Joker’s ring, and cut a promo on the Joker? Then you actually say that Corey Reznor is going to have to face the Joker one on one for number one contendership for the United States title? First of all, Mankind, Dude Love, Cactus Jack, The Easter Bunny, whoever the hell you are, the New World Disorder does not engage in petty little things like fighting each other for a simple title. Especially the United States Title. I mean, that the person who used to hold it has tarnished title. I mean, Blue Devil used to hold that title. No self-respecting champion could ever hold that title again. And another thing, Mankind, you are not going to destroy the New World Disorder by having us face each other. The New World Disorder will not, and cannot, be destroyed. Partners? Hell yeah. Respect? Hell yeah. Friends? Hell no. Champions? Hell Yes. And Mankind, that is a stronger bond that friendship. Each and every one of the New World Disorder members holds a title, each and every one of the New World Disorder members is on the top ten list, and each and every one of the New World Disorder members are sticking together. Because we have something that both Extreme Team and the Prime Time Players don’t have. And that, quite simply, is talent. The Prime Time Players have C-Rock and Balla, the rest of them are just jobbers. Extreme Team has Mankind and Team Extreme, but Blade hasn’t come back since I beat him for the Television Title. And now, Triple X and I have formed one of the most dominant tag teams in HWF history, X-Raided. And Team Extreme, watch out, because we were gunning for the Hardcore Tag Team Titles. You two might have Singapore Canes, but X-Raided has power. Hardcore Jay, you will be dropped for the three count. Jay Man will be beaten senseless by the world’s strongest man, Triple X. Triple X is going to beat you up and down the aisles, beat you with your own Singapore Cane, then I’ll grab you, Hardcore Jay, and give you No Laughing Matter through a god damn table. Then once your ass is pinned, you are looking at the Joker, the Television and Hardcore Tag Champion, and Triple X, the European Champion and the Hardcore Tag Champion. And the other members of the New World Disorder will be Corey Reznor, the United States Champion and the Tag Champion, and Ryan McBain, the Intercontinental Champion and the Tag Champion. The New World Disorder, the most powerful stable ever in HWF history.”




***The Joker holds the Television Title into the air as the crowd boos.***

Joker: “Mankind, I’m gonna keep running my lips until I get what I want. And that is the World Title. So, Mankind, what I am going to do, is, I am challenging you to a World Title match. You set the time, I’ll set me fists upon your skull. And when it is all said and done, I will walk out of the arena as the new World Champion. But I’m not going to look that far ahead. What I am going to look at right now is the fact that I have to kick your ass on Thursday in front of all of these jackasses. ***The crowd boos in disapproval. ***
I thought I told you to shut the ~censored~ up! Now, Mankind, this Thursday, you are going to be beat all across the arena, up and down the aisles, from pillar to post, from locker room to locker room, and then finally you will take the plunge into that grave. And while I am shoveling dirt onto your bloody carcass, you will wish that you never incited the wrath of the Joker. Mankind, you are going to pay for everything that you have done in this federation. You will pay for ever pissing off the New World Disorder, you will pay for pissing off the Joker, and you will pay for pissing off anyone who has ever had to listen to your interviews. I was walking down the street the other night and I saw a hobo walk up to me. I didn’t say much, except for, “Hey, Mankind.” Now, Mankind, I added another verse to the poem I read you last week:

Even though it’s clear that I’m lying,
I’m so sad to hear that you’ll be dying.
You’ve been here a while, had a long career,
But the beating you’ll receive will be oh so severe.
But if I were a wrestler as retarded as you,
I’d piss off the Joker so I could die to.

Your career has been oh so pathetic,
When I kick your ass, you won’t get anesthetic.
You will be beat from pillar to post,
You’ll get more of a beating that I give to most.
I can’t promise you that I’ll behave,
But I can promise you you’ll wind up in the grave.



***The audience boos as loudly as they can as the Joker gets an evil smile on his face.***

Joker: “I’ll see you on Thursday, Mankind. Have a nice day.”

***The Joker’s music hits the speakers and he walks slowly backstage. He turns around and flips off the crowd as they boo.***

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