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Date Posted: 11:16:49 01/06/00 Thu
Author: The Joker
Subject: Mankind, New Comer, read this NOW!




***The lights go out inside of the HWF Arena and the Joker’s theme song hits the speakers. The HaRdCoReTron turns on and shows a scene inside of a graveyard. A dark figure stands above freshly dug grave, wearing a long black trenchcoat. An eerie mist rises from the ground and the camera zooms in on the face of the mysterious man. It is shown that it is the Joker. The Joker looks into the camera with dark circles under his eyes and a sick smile on his face. He begins to speak as the sound of the wind comes through in the background.***

Joker: “I’m going to take you back to a very deciding point in my life- a time when I believed something. A time when I believed that my face and my name made a difference. Do you remember that night, Mankind? Do you remember? Because it is embedded in my skull, it’s embedded in my heart, and it’s embedded in every nightmare that I will ever have. I looked out into the crowd during the match, while I was kicking Maxim Reality and Hardcore Jay’s asses, and they were cheering. Those bloodthirsty fans were cheering on another human beings plight. You fans took everything I believed in. You ripped out my heart, you ripped out my soul, you took everything I believed in, and you flushed it down the toilet. You see Mankind, you think that these fans will stand behind you. These fans sitting in their cushioned chairs, who chant, “He’s hardcore, he’s hardcore, he’s hardcore,” wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire! These HWF fans will be the death of you. Because they’ve realized that they are smarter than any of us, that they rule the HWF, not us, not the prez. Mankind, you’re becoming a damn fool. Try to understand that I am a fouled experiment in human sociology, and I can accept that. We’re not a wrestling show anymore, we’re the world’s damn biggest puppet show. I’ll be damned if I’m going to walk into an arena and let any of you call my match. One, two, three: jump. One, two, three: jump. Well not me, because I’m nobody’s stooge, and Mankind, if you had a little bit of pride, or a little bit of common sense, you’d understand that those fans don’t love you- they laugh at you! You took some of the world’s worst beatings this sport has ever seen, and they still laughed in your face. And to think that I stood there with my arm around you and endorsed you, saying, “He’s hardcore, he’s hardcore, he’s hardcore.” And for that I deserve to die a terrible, painful death, Mankind. Because I feel responsible. And I got to bed at night, and I’m not sure where I’m going to spend my eternity. Mankind, at night when I can’t sleep, I don’t count sheep, no, no. I count the ways that I am going to hurt you. And I can hurt you, Mankind. Now, I know that you believe that you can defeat me. (chuckle) But Mankind, you don’t have any chance at all. Because you are going to come out here in this match, believing that two years from now these fans are going to give a damn about you. But Mankind, these fans could care less about you. They are just drunk, redneck, uncompassionate sons of bitches. And if you choose to cater to these fans, then that is your decision. It is the wrong decision, but it is your own decision. Mankind, how does it feel to be in a match that you can’t win and I can’t lose? I’m going to beat your ass with anything that I can find. I will beat you with your own damn mask, that mask that you hide behind. Mankind, I’m not doing this because I hate you- no, far from that- I’m doing this, Mankind, because I respect you. Because the World Champion deserves a degree of respect. But Mankind, you are going to walk out here and have your career ended by the Joker. Simple as that. No, wait. I’ve changed my mind. Mankind, I do hate you. If every grain of sand in the Sahara had the word, “HATE” written on it, it wouldn’t come close to the amount of hatred I have for you. Mankind, the World Title doesn’t mean shit in this equation. I could care less about the title you hold, as long as I get your ass in that ring. Mankind, you are going to realize that these fans in those seats out there, watching all of these wrestlers put their hearts and souls into every match they go into, could care less about if you are in a wheelchair by this time next year. They will have forgotten you. All these years of being a face, all these years of making the crowd your buddies, is for not. Because Mankind, these fans don’t give a damn about you. And that is what the New World Disorder is founded on. The realization that these fans don’t care about anyone except for themselves. And once you realize that, Mankind, the New World Disorder will welcome you. If I have to drag you to the stable, you will still be welcomed. And then, you will hear the words of Uncle Corey: “Welcome home, Mankind. Welcome…home.”

***A single tear rolls down the Joker’s cheek and he looks away from the camera for a moment before continuing.***



Joker: “Now, onto Prime Time Seb Precher or Peb Srecher, or whatever the hell his name is. This little wannabe comes here to the HWF, home of the world’s greatest stable, the New World Disorder, and immediately wants a title shot. He wants the Joker’s ranking spot and the Joker’s title. Well, first of all, you idiot, you have to work your way from the bottom, just like everyone else did. Just like Balla, just like C-Rock, just like Mankind, just like Reznor, just like McBain, just like Triple X, just like the Joker. You aren’t going to get a title shot immediately. Because the Number One Contender is Hardcore Jay. So you and Hardcore Jay fight it out, and the winner will get a Television Title shot at the Pay-Per-View. But “Prime Time” if you’re going to challenge me, at least use proper English. Because I’m Joker, “Catch me if you can, keep a title if I let you.”

***The Joker looks around the cemetery and bows his head. He tightens the trenchcoat and continues.***

Joker: “Mankind, you are a very sad specimen indeed. And it pains me to have to beat you all around the arena, night in and night out. Because the era of Mankind is ending. And the era of the Joker is being ushered in. The Joker, the true Prime Time Player, did not have once match for two weeks before the Pay-Per-View. Because the prez did not want to risk injuring the HWF Savior. And now, after I retained the Television Title, he puts me against somebody who will at least pose a slight challenge. Mankind. Mankind, you are the guiding light. Mankind, you are going to save the Joker. Mankind, all of these fans who pack into these seats every single time the Hardcore Wrestling Federation takes the air, will finally see the Joker defeat someone who he ranks with. The days of the Joker facing Blue Devil are over. The Joker has finally reached the main-event status that he so deserves. And all of these bloodthirsty fans will watch the Joker defeat the World Champion. Even though it is a non-title match, the Joker still defeated the World Champion. Mankind, you are in for a surprise. You think that just because you hold the World Title you can tell people whom they will face? Mankind, you are going to go face to face, nose to nose, with the Joker. And the Joker does not play well with others. Mankind, you disgust me. You talk about how Mr. Socko is going to be shoved down my throat. You talk about how “your special friend” is going down my throat. Well, Mankind, as much as I appreciate the offer, I don’t want your “special friend” anywhere near me. But Mankind, I think it’s about time that you wake up and smell the coffee. Open your eyes. Look what you’re looking at. This is power. It’s called the No Laughing Matter. And no one…gets up from it. And Mankind, it pains me to see you throw your body off the tops of cages, commit suicide in front of these people night in and night out and wake up the next morning, knowing deep down inside that these people have already forgotten about you. Knowing that these sick, demented fans don’t actually care if you spend the rest of your life in a wheelchair. Knowing that these fans don’t care if you never wrestle again. Because Mankind, your time is up. Hang up those boots and spare every one the mental anguish. Mankind, you are just to damn old. So it’s about time you passed the torch to someone who deserves it. Mankind, it’s about time you passed the torch…to the Joker. Mankind, this grave here…(the Joker gestures to the grave area) was dug special for you. Care to take a look at the tombstone?”

***The camera zooms in on the tombstone and the epitaph is visible.***
Here lies Mankind.
The old, wrinkled ass
that the Joker kicked around the HWF arena.
His career will be forgotten.
***The camera returns to the Joker.***

Joker: “Mankind, as much as it pains me to beat you like this, it is my duty as the HWF savior. Mankind, you are going to be defeated tonight. Mankind, you are going to be decimated tonight. Mankind, you are going to have your career ended tonight. In short, you are going down, Mick. Down. And there’s nothing that you can do to stop this downward spiral, this decline, this career ending evening. Because, Mankind, you have no chance in hell of defeating me. For once I have backup. McBain, Reznor, and Triple X will be there to back me up. In case your little Team Extreme decides to come out and help you. Mankind, I have backup this time around. And it is going to hurt you…a lot more…than it’s going to hurt me. Because Mankind, quite simply, you are going t be destroyed tonight, and thrown into this grave. And I will be there to hammer each and every nail into that coffin. And then, as all of that dirt comes down on top of you, you will know that you have just had your ass kicked, and that you have been defeated, by the Joker. And Mankind, it’s really No…Laughing…Matter. So Mankind, this goes out to you, wherever you are. Have a nice day, Mankind. Because it will be your last day. So we should celebrate. Let’s celebrate your birthday in the ring before the match. I know that you already had a birthday this year, but it’s important to celebrate your birthday now, because your last birthday, was, in reality, your last…birthday.”

***The Joker bows his head and begins to laugh maniacally. The camera fades to black as the crowd collectively shivers.***

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