| Subject: Star, Sunshower, and herd~*I*M*P*O*R*T*A*N*T*~ |
Author:
Expresso
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Date Posted: 12:39:18 05/22/02 Wed
A mare wearing an exhausted expression walks toward the group. I carefully begin to speak, choosing words carefully,"It's not fair" I begin, half talking to myself,"It's not fair for me, and most of all it's not fair for you. I'm not here. Not even occasionally. I've known in the back of my mind for a while now that I am in no condition to be lead mare here any further. I am not giving up my position entirely, because I do have faith that someday I will straighten out the messes that I'm currently tangled in...and when that day comes I will be the most ambitious lead mare you've ever seen. However, until then, Sunshower, I would like you to take over. Until I have control over myself I need to leave. I promise I'll visit on occasion, but I'm not fit to be leading a herd."
I glance at Star, eyes aching for him. I wish I had planned this better. I wish I could give an explaination. A tear shimmers as it creeps down my cheek and disapears in the shadows. Pain is a weight on my heart as I look at Windy. A stallion. A big, beautiful stallion. Clover whose become an attractive heart breaker by now. And little Goldie, a diamond in the rough. Nuzzling them all tenderly I turn and gallop off into the dark woods to mourn away the hurt that has erupted within me.
(OOC to Chris: i am going through a really hard time right now. In some ways I need to talk to you more than ever, but I just don't have the time I'd like. I'm REALLY sorry. And it's not that I'm leaving for good, but I just can't deal with one more obligation right now. My sister is back at college, but after being spoiled with months of her time, it's really hard without her, my parents are getting divorsed "officially", and I'm having a really rough time with my boyfriend and best friend. We're sort of in a love triangle. I love Frank (boyfriend) but I like this guy Carl who I THINK likes Lizzie and Lizzie started liking him just a little while ago and I'm having trouble coping with it all. I just feel so depressed. I wish I had some direction in my life. On the bright side, I've renewed my relationship with God, I'm hoping He'll help me through this. I'm even thinking of converting from Catholic to either Baptist or Mennonite. I've got to go. I miss you now more than ever. I will be back, it's only a matter of time. After all, time heals all wounds.
Love you always,
Theresa)
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