PART III: This Cookie Dough is making me sick... -- Biene

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Date Posted: 18:14:25 05/27/03 Tue
Author: 3Strikes
Subject: PART III: This Cookie Dough is making me sick...

AND FOR WHAT ? The question that makes or breaks the last 2 seasons.

What is the ultimate pay off for Buffy's neglect of Dawn in S6 ?
What is the ultimate pay off for Xander and Anya's broken marriage ?
What is the pay off for Anya's return to vengeance ?
What is the ultimate pay off for Willow's Dark Magic Arc ?
What is the ultimate pay off for Spike's soul ?
What is the ultimate pay off for Touched ?
What is the ultimate pay off for Tara's death ?
What is the ultimate pay off for Giles's leaving in Season 6 ?
What is the ultimate pay off for Giles's character assassination in Lies ?
What is the ultimate pay off for Xander endlessly fixing windows ?
What is the ultimate pay off for Xander's Mutilation ?
What is the ultimate pay off for Buffy and Faith leadership struggle ?
What is the ultimate pay off for Faith's return to the Buffyverse ?
What is the ultimate pay off for all the characters being turned into meat puppets, into victims, for the Buffyverse being turned into a Cartoonish Existentialist Limbo ?
What is the ultimate pay off for their arcs being gutted or twisted beyond any recognition ?

Say it with me: C.O.O.K.I.E D.O.U.G.H

It is said that all roads lead to Rome...but for the past 2 seasons, all the storylines, dramatic and character non-development, all the gutted arcs have lead to Buffy's Cookie Dough Speech, the first of Whedon's Magical Statements (there are 3 of them).
Don't believe me ?
Seek and Ye shall find!
Joss Whedon in TVGuide, talking about Buffy: "She wants to go and find herself spend some time becoming a grown-up and finding out who she is, and then she can stop to find out who fits with that. That was the point of the whole cookie dough speech. Her internal search isn't for a boyfriend, it's for herself."

Yes folks, this is what we had all been waiting for! The profound answer to all the questions I asked above. Why the pain, the dragging out, the whining, the gutted arcs and character assassinations ? For Buffy's Cookie Dough.
This! This indeed is the justification, the raison d'etre (pardon my french) for the last 2 seasons.

But...but...you inquire...doesn't this seems strangely familiar?
Indeed Grasshopper! Verily, you are the most clever of GrassHoppers!

From S5, I was made to Love You:
"XANDER: Robots are the strangest people.
BUFFY: No ... people are the strangest people. (she looks down as
Xander continues working) I mean, look at me obsessing about being
with someone. It's like ... I don't need a guy right now. I need
me. I need to get comfortable being alone with Buffy."

Why, if it isn't word for word what both Whedon (the article) and Buffy (Cookie Dough) stated! Now! Now! Stop this rowdiness, Dung Beetle! Aren't you grateful Whedon saw fit to recycle such a marvelous statement ?
What! You don't think the last 2 seasons should be paid off by such an *extraordinary* culmination ? You think this CANNIBALISTIC PLAGIARISM is a further insult to the death of Tara, to fans of Xander, Giles, Anya, Dawn, Willow, Faith and Spike ? You find it beyond TRITE and PEDESTRIAN ? You think the last 2 Seasons should be renamed EPIPHANY INTERRUPTED ?
Why, you ungrateful cloddish lout! You hater of all things *artistic*! You have no understanding whatever of the burdens under which Joss Whedon, thrice blessed be his name, must labor, or the delicate intricacies and nuances contained in this masterful Opus he calls Seasons 6 and 7.
I shudder at what you will think of the other two Statements.

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