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Date Posted: 19:24:05 09/16/01 Sun
Author: ds
Subject: Re: American Lo-Fi
In reply to: Seb 's message, "American Lo-Fi" on 15:49:13 09/03/01 Mon

who the fuck wrote this? probably someone from watermuff. bloody hell it pisses me off.
>
>>
>>>Hello there all you music fans!!!!!!
>>>As a Kerrang reviewer, I was appointed to write an
>>>article on the cotteridge park festival as we have
>>>expanded one of our head quarters to Birmingham. I
>>>would firstly like to congratulate all the bands on a
>>>top performance, including Lunarburn, Watermuff, and
>>>The Monkey Because Mary Jean and of course Betsy.
>But
>>>mostly I would like to thank Shocked Elevator for
>>>producing the biggest comedy act I have ever seen.
>How
>>>they even had the confidence to go up and perform I
>>>have no idea. Firstly the lead singer who looked
>like
>>>a fat little penguin in sunglasses who masked himself
>>>behind and American accent was hilarious. His excuse
>>>for vocals were vomit worthy and his pathetic
>attempts
>>>to leour kiddies to the front (hence 'kiddies')
>>>because they were to naive to see through his
>>>transparent personality, were gut rotting. I knew
>>>he wasn't American because penguins don't live in
>>>America unless they are in captivity. Save the
>>>penguins my ass. I hope he gets caught up in a
>drift
>>>net one day and gets eaten alive by carnivorous
>>>goldfish. He was the most annoying lead vocalist I
>>>have ever seen. His voice sounded like a tape film
>>>being pulled through a mixing desk at high speed. He
>>>was like some fat dumpling of a penguin at a sea
>>>circus in Disney land. I wanted to throw the
>>>sonuvabitch a fish after every song.
>>> As for the Bassist, well I don't know who he
>>>thinks he is, but was he trying to mount himself on
>>>some sort of throne when he climbed on to the amp?
>
>>>he looked like some poncey public school boy who
>>>thinks he's a thousand times better than everyone
>>>else. He just stood there with this horrible
>>>posture. He was the most arrogant guy I've seen in a
>>>long time apart form the penguin dude but that's not
>>>suprising.
>>> I didn't see much of the drummer because the
>>>penguin was too much in the way, but I'm convinced he
>>>would be as annoying as the others. I think there
>>>was another guy but again, the penguin was waddling
>>>around so I couldn't see a fucking thing.
>>> So thankyou to all the bands who played, I had a
>>>great day. Oh and penguin........ I hear there's
>>>a job going at the sea life centre.

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