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Date Posted: 05:15:37 12/02/02 Mon
Author: Lark
Subject: Fowl Play (OT Humor)

well, sort of NOT OT, more "in turkey mode".
;o)



Subject: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?


GEORGE W. BUSH

I don't think I should have to answer that question.



AL GORE

I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore,
the chicken crossing the road represented the
application of these two different functions of
government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring
greater services to the American people.



RALPH NADER

The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road
had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The
chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the
other side of the road because it was crushed by the
wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.



PAT BUCHANAN

To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.



RUSH LIMBAUGH

I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll
bet it was getting a government grant to cross the
road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming
a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road
syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this
can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road
paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax
dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the
government took from you to build roads for chickens to
cross.



MARTHA STEWART

If the chicken crossed the road on my property, I would
be fully justified in blocking its exit until the local
authorities could arrive to arrest it for trespassing.
I am a private person and should not have to be
subjected to the "innocent mistakes" of common
chickens.



JERRY FALWELL

Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't
you people see the plain truth in front of your face?
The chicken was going to the"other side. "That's what
"they" call it - the "other side." Yes, my friends,
that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you
will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens
until we sort out this abomination that the liberal
media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like
"the other side."



DR. SEUSS

Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!



ERNEST HEMINGWAY

To die. In the rain. Alone.



MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to
cross roads without having their motives called into
question.



GRANDPA

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the
road, and that was good enough for us.




BARBARA WALTERS

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the
heartwarming story of how it overcame a serious case of
molting and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of
crossing the road.



JOHN LENNON

Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.



ARISTOTLE

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.



KARL MARX

It was a historical inevitability.



SADDAM HUSSEIN

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were
quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.



VOLTAIRE

I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will
defend to the death its right to do it.


RONALD REAGAN

What chicken?



KEN STARR

I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at
the behest of the President of the United States of
America in an effort to distract law enforcement
officials and the American public from the criminal
wrongdoing our high est elected official has been
trying to cover up. As a result, the chicken is just
another pawn in the president's ongoing and elaborate
scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of
law. For that reason, my staff intends to offer the
chicken unconditional immunity provided he cooperates
fully with our investigation. Furthermore, the chicken
will not be permitted to reach the other side of the
road until our investigation and any Congressional
follow-up investigations have been completed.



CAPTAIN KIRK

To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.



FOX MULDER

You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many
more chickens have to cross before you believe it?



FREUD

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual
insecurity.



BILL GATES

I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your checkbook -- and Internet
Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.



EINSTEIN

Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road
move beneath the chicken?



BILL CLINTON

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you
mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?



THE BIBLE

And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto
the chicken," Thou shalt cross the road" And the
chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.



COLONEL SANDERS

I missed one?

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