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Date Posted: 05:17:38 10/15/02 Tue
Author: Lark
Subject: HUMOR: Political Chocolate-y Goodness (WAAAAY Off Topic!!)

This was just sent to me, I guess it's making the rounds...

> I thought we might all enjoy a giggle to perk up Monday.
> --------------------------
> September 24, 2002
> By Phil Lebovits
> Spurred by reports of an aggressive military build-up and
> failure to reign in corporate terrorists, the government
> of Belgium is pressing for a preemptive strike against
> the regime of George W. Bush.
>
> "We cannot sit idly by and eat our delicious chocolates
> while the United States government engages in a policy of
> harassment," Belgian Prime Minister Guy Verhofstadt said
> in a nationally-televised address to the Belgian people.
> "Now is the time for action. We cannot waffle."
>
> Recent reports from Belgian intelligence sources indicate
> that the United States is now in possession of weapons of
> mass destruction - chemical, biological and nuclear. "We
> know that the United States has nuclear weapons and that
> they have actually used them in the past," intoned the
> Prime Minister. "There is no reason to think they will
> not use them in the future."
>
> Verhofstadt is insisting that United Nations weapon
> inspectors be given "unfettered access to the massive
> stockpiles" of weapons, and that they be destroyed
> immediately.
>
> "We stand at the crossroads," pleaded Verhofstadt.
> "Either the United States agrees to our demands, or we
> will be forced to put down our delicious chocolates and
> lead the way for permanent regime change. Remember, my
> dear Walloons, the current clique in Washington was
> elected in direct contravention of the will of the
> American people. Regime change will be welcomed by their
> citizens."
>
> Reaction to the speech throughout Europe was swift. "We
> stand with our Belgian brothers," offered French
> President Jacques Chirac. "France is willing to commit
> thirty-five troops and many cases of fine champagne to
> the cause. We cannot stand on the sidelines enjoying our
> delicious baguettes while our comrades from Antwerp go it
> alone. Let me assure the dear Prime Minister, France is
> with you, almost."
>
> Russian President Vladimir Putin did not mince any words.
> "Again, it is the powerful Belgians who must lead the
> world against aggression and American hegemony. Russia
> stands with her European allies and insists that the
> United States disarm unilaterally. I only wish we too had
> delicious foods."
>
> Following the speech, the mood at the White House was one
> of defiance. "Let the Belgians make their empty threats,"
> said White House spokesman Ari Fleischer. "We are urging
> Hershey's and Mars and other fine American chocolate
> makers to increase their yummy output by two-hundred
> percent in the coming weeks. We intend to break up the
> evil-doing Belgian chocolate cartel once and for all."
>
> Vice President Dick Cheney was even more bellicose.
> Speaking directly underneath Karl Rove from an
> undisclosed underground bunker, the Vice President warned
> of dire consequences should Belgium make a preemptive
> strike. "We are prepared to strike back with alarming
> force," said Cheney. "The Belgians cannot bully us. They
> may be the world's only superpower, but we here in
> America have Allah on our side. To hell with their
> delicious chocolate treats."
>
> Verhofstadt, while unyielding in tone and substance, did
> offer the Americans a plausible way out. "I call upon
> George W. Bush to capture Sheik Kenneth Lay, Imam Dennis
> Kozlowski, and the entire Worldcom terrorist
> organization, and to hand them over to an international
> tribunal. The United States can no longer harbor agents
> of terrorism. You are either with us or against us."
>
> Back in Washington, the Joint Chiefs of Staff and
> National Security Advisor Condaleeza Rice were trying
> eagerly to persuade President Bush that there was indeed
> a country named Belgium.
> (c) 2001 - 2002 Democratic Underground, LLC
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to
> http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/


:o) ??

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