| Subject: computer magic |
Author:
taxal
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Date Posted: 20:59:30 04/22/02 Mon
enjoy the following:
One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, I think
I should go see the Doctor!"
His friend immediately replied, "Don't do that. There's a new computer
at the drugs store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than
the doctor. Simply put in a sample of urine and the computer will diagnose
the problem and tell you what to do."
Pete, figuring that he had nothing to lose, filled a jar with his pee,
went to the drugs store where he found the computer and deposited his sample
and the computer started making a few noises and some lights started to flash.
After a brief pause, out popped a small piece of paper which read:
YOU HAVE TENNIS ELBOW, SOAK YOUR ARM IN WATER THREE TIMES A DAY FOR
AN HOUR.AVOID HEAVY LABOUR. YOUR ELBOW WILL GET BETTER IN TWO WEEKS.
That evening while thinking about how amazing this new technology was
and how it could change the world of medicine forever, he began to wonder
if the computer could be fooled. He decided to try. He mixed together some
tap water, engine oil from his car, a stool sample from his dog, urine
samples from his wife and daughter, and, at the last minute, masturbated into the concoction.
He went back to the store, deposited the sample and paid his money.
After the noises and lights, out popped a piece of paper, which read:
YOUR TAP WATER IS HARD, GET A SOFTNER.
THE VALVES ON YOUR ENGINE ARE STUFFED, GET IT TO A GARAGE.
YOUR DOG HAS WORMS, GET HIM TO A VET.
YOUR DAUGHTER IS HOOKED ON COCAINE, GET HER TO REHAB.
YOUR WIFE IS PREGNANT WITH TWINS, THEY ARE NOT YOURS, GET A LAWYER. AND IF YOU DON'T STOP WANKING, YOUR ELBOW WILL NEVER GET BETTER.
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