nevermind the two above.. this one is the worse! -- Friends

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Date Posted: 13:37:52 09/23/05 Fri
Author: Caro
Subject: nevermind the two above.. this one is the worse!
In reply to: Caro 's message, "oooooooooooh this one is sure to get you "the look"!!" on 13:33:04 09/23/05 Fri

Four animals a Snake, a rooster, a Cat and a Centipede, all heavy smokers, were playing cards together. When the cigarettes run out, the snake, the big brother, said, "rooster, go out and get some packs! You know, I have NO legs." "But why me?" said the rooster, "I have only TWO legs!" So, the task fell on Centipede with no doubt. Centipede said nothing and left the room.
The left three waited and waited, but Centipede did not show up. One hour later, they couldn't wait anymore. "What's the devil Centipede doing?" Snake said impatiently, "Cat, go out and take a look!"
When Cat gets to the door, he got frightened. Centipede was SITTING there!!!! So the angry Cat said, "What are you doing here?"
"Can't you see? I'm putting on my shoes,� said Centipede.

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Replies:

[> [> [> funnnnnnnyyyyyyy! -- Caro ~ can you tell I'm bored yet?, 13:54:31 09/23/05 Fri [1]

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the
bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to
her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for
a while?" To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No,
I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at
them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and
he slinks back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes.

She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see,
I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond
to embarrassing situations."
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean
$200?"

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[> [> [> [> last one... erm.. maybe.. lol -- Caro ~ still bored as heck..., 14:06:26 09/23/05 Fri [1]

One day a frog walked into a bank and asked to see the loan officer. The teller directed him to a woman named Patricia Whack. The frog went into her office, hopped up on her desk and said, "how do you do, Ms. Whack? My name is Kermit Jagger and I'd like to borrow $20,000 to go on holiday."

Patricia said, "wha . . . huh?????"

"But it's okay," the frog continued. "My father is Mick Jagger and I know your bank president personally."

Patricia pulled herself together a bit, shuffled some papers around and said, "um, well, uh, we'd need some collateral . . ."

"Certainly," the frog said. "Here you are." He handed her a miniature porcelaine elephant the size of a thimble.

Patricia said, "ohhhh-KAY! I'm just going to have to talk to the bank president about this first."

"Of course," the frog said easily.

Patricia backed out of her office and scurried down the hall to the bank president's office. "Sir," she said, "you won't believe this! There's a frog in my office and he says he knows you and his name is Kermit Jagger and Mick Jagger's his father and he wants to borrow $20,000 to go on holiday and this is what he gave me for collateral! Would you look at this? I mean, what is this, anyway???"

The bank president sighed and shook his head and said,

"It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack! Give the frog a loan! His old man's a Rolling Stone!"

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[> [> [> [> [> Hee hee -- Femok, 14:12:55 09/23/05 Fri [1]

that's my fave.

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