I hate it when I do that... -- The Autograph Book

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Date Posted: 17:08:50 11/01/01 Thu
Author: Joe
Subject: I hate it when I do that...
In reply to: Joe 's message, "Speaking of stupid people..." on 17:03:26 11/01/01 Thu

Here's a couple of examples:

Stupid person #1:

In rural Carbon County, PA, a group of men were drinking beer and discharging firearms from the rear deck of a home owned by Irving Michaels, age 27. The men were firing at a raccoon that was wandering by, but the beer apparently impaired their aim and, despite of the estimated 35 shots the group fired, the animal escaped into a 3 foot diameter drainage pipe some 100 feet away from Mr. Michaels' deck.

Determined to terminate the animal, Mr. Michaels retrieved a can of gasoline and poured some down the pipe, intending to smoke the animal out. After several unsuccessful attempts to ignite the fuel, Michaels emptied the entire 5 gallon fuel can down the pipe and tried to ignite it again, to no avail. Not one to admit defeat by wildlife, the determined Mr. Michaels proceeded to slide feet-first approximately 15 feet down the sloping pipe to toss the match.

The subsequent rapidly expanding fireball propelled Mr. Michaels back the way he had come, though at a much higher rate of speed. He exited the angled pipe "like a Polaris missile leaves a submarine," according to witness Joseph McFadden, 31.

Mr. Michaels was launched directly over his own home, right over the heads of his astonished friends, onto his front lawn. In all, he traveled over 200 feet through the air. "There was a Doppler Effect to his scream as he flew over us," McFadden reported, "Followed by a loud thud."

Amazingly, he suffered only minor injuries. "It was actually pretty cool," Michaels said, "Like when they shoot someone out of a cannon at the circus. I'd do it again if I was sure I wouldn't get hurt."

Stupid person #2:

In an Inuit village, a young man was searching for a way of getting drunk for free because he had no money to buy alcohol. So he mixed gasoline with milk to get his buzz. After he drank it he became ill and vomited on the fireplace in his house which in turn ignited his vomit
and burned his house down killing him and his sister.

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Replies:

Re: I hate it when I do that... -- LS, 17:15:03 11/01/01 Thu