For M and others ... RCB, courtesy of Craig Mitchell. -- The Autograph Book

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Date Posted: 23:48:01 09/20/01 Thu
Author: Tarnish
Subject: For M and others ... RCB, courtesy of Craig Mitchell.

"Who said it had to be a dog. What about a nice cat? I'll give you mine. He'll live in your shower. You'll hardly notice he's there," I say.

"Your fat cat wouldn't fit through my front door, man and something tells me you'd be opposed to me using a crowbar. And besides, frankly I don't think I could handle all of the random cat barf."

I laugh. "Random cat barf?"

"Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. You come home from work and take your shoes off and you're ready to relax on the couch in front of the TV� when you notice the small pool of cat barf near the lamp or the hairball sandwich on the floor at your feet. Maybe you step in it by accident. It's totally disgusting, man. I hate cats for that. They're always barfing all over the place. I mean, what's up with that? You know, you have your cute little girlfriend over to your place for the first time and you're getting heavy with her on the couch and all of the sudden, from somewhere in your apartment you hear the opening notes of the Cat Barf Sonata in C Minor. 'ACCCCK! ACK! ARCA! ARKA! ACCCK!'" Tim arcs his head up in the air mimicking a gruesome event I am quite familiar with.

"It ruins the moment, you know what I mean?" he insists, looking back at me again. "You're no longer thinking of taking her bra off, and she's no longer thinking about what a totally sexy guy you are and your tongue on her earlobe. You're both thinking of that pool of cat barf that, with any luck, is right smack dab in the middle of your bed. And then when you finally get into the bedroom, you're totally paranoid that you're going to step in it, or lay down in it, or ski across the room on it when you happen to miss it while you're running for the bathroom. But of course, you can't find the barf - not anywhere! And then you have the creeping suspicion, you know, you have to learn to live with the horror that the only reason you can't find the evidence is the disgusting little bastard probably ate it!"

Author - Craig Mitchell.

And no, my name's not Craig Mitchell.

Reprinted without permission of any kind, but properly credited to the man who wrote it and including a link to his website main page so he doesn't sue my poor ass.

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Replies:

hehe rcb always makes me laugh... -- Mugs, 16:20:58 09/21/01 Fri