| Subject: Damnit Yam................. |
Author:
Flammis
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Date Posted: 15:15:21 09/25/01 Tue
In reply to:
yammis
's message, "flammis...... i burnt myself last night........." on 12:43:45 09/25/01 Tue
*takes a huge deep breath before talking so she doesn't yell* Yam....... Bad....... But, that's hypocritical of me to say, since I hurt myself too.... Just please please listen to me when I say time will help. I promise, I'm speaking from experience. I know I can't ever fully understand what you went through, but no one can. But I was in a similar situation, and what did you do every time I threatened to cut myself? You told me not to. I was so lost within my real life, that I had to turn to people online to help me, practically strangers, I was clinging to them for support, and you guys gave it to me. I'm really really bad at helping other people, as I can barely help myself, so I'm sure this entire post sounds like shit, but please remember that you always have something out there that you can stop for. Every time I think of cutting myself, I just think of all my friends that don't know I hurt myself, my innocent sheltered friends that would be blown away if I told them half of what goes on in my mind. Remember that there is always someone out there that is worth more than the price of hurting yourself. Just take some deep breaths, continue putting one fott before the other when you walk, continue pulling on your pants one pant leg at a time, continue smiling when it's appropriate, and continue letting tears fall. I understand why you'd hurt yourself, I understand that sometimes it just seems like the last option, but please, just remember that with every tragedy something good sparks, something real and joyous forms. I know from my disaster with my friend, I gained stronger bonds with my other friends, I've learned not to be so dependant on the one I love, but to spread myself, to allow multiple people to support me. You can find something about yourself from this experience that you never knew. Talk to someone, talk to anyone, a school counselor, a close friend, a teacher, a not-so-close friend, just talk about anything to keep yourself focused. Remember that this portion of your life is only a small bit of what lies ahead, that when you look at the spectrum of your life compared to our history, we are but a ripple in time. This may seem horrible now, but take a few steps back and look at the whole picture. You might see something more. I don't know what else to say, like I said, I'm bad about this sort of stuff, I end up becoming self-centered. Just be careful, Yam. Remember what you felt when I talked about cutting myself, and remember that there are people that feel that way for you now. Healing will come, with time.
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