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Date Posted: 07:46:15 09/03/05 Sat
Author: Cathleen
Subject: Re: Confused
In reply to: WarHorse 's message, "Re: Confused" on 12:31:34 06/25/05 Sat

Kevin and Roger:

Just wanted to say that I am happy to hear that I am not alone in my fustration. At least the two of you know what your heritage is even if you can't prove it and that counts for something...trust me!

I was raised without knowing much of anything about my heritage or genetic background. My mother was an orphan and a single parent since I was 3. I am just getting to know my fathers side of my family again recently and I am 37.

I was raised being told that I have native ancestery on my dads side of the family. My grandmother says my great-grandmother always told her that she was part native but she wasn't interested enough to ask any futher questions while her mother was alive. That side of the family doesn't really care about ancestry. Supposedly, there was a journal my great-grandmother kept but nobody bothered to read it...my aunt was entrusted with it but lost it. My grandmother says she browsed it once as a young women and it did contain alot of passages about native americans (specifically one individual) but she has forgotten the details. She does know that someone in the family was connected to the Blackfoot reservation in some capacity. Sometimes I feel as if it was some deep dark family secret which I guess might be part of the problem since it would not necessarily have been something to be proud of during her younger years. Add to that the fact that I come from a strict christian family.

Talk about fustrating!!! I have spent my whole life feeling that something important was missing. I have tried without luck to trace my family history but I can't even locate the more recent history on any of my relatives. It is like the whole family tree has disappeared.

The only thing I know is that as a child I was drawn to nature...feeling a sense of peace and a connection that I still can't describe. As an adult, that pull continues to increase with each day, the longer I am away. I feel as if something is pulling on my spirit in a way that I really don't understand and I have been afraid to ask to many questions for fear of offending someone, or appearing to be "a wanna be"!

Right now, I would be happy just to find the answers I am seeking even if I couldn't prove it to anyone else!

Blessings and Peace,

Cat
>
>My great-great Grandmother was full Cherokee, and I
>take comfort in that, more than my white ancestors,
>though they are not to be scoffed at. (Polish, German
>and Scots.)
>
>I cannot register because great-great Grandmother was
>abducted from the res at a young age, and our lineage
>is lost.
>
>This does not make me any less of who I am.
>
>As individuals, you and I are more than the sum of our
>lineages. Give yourself permission to move forward
>and embrace who you are on all sides and in all lines.
>
>Being a child of the Spirit is a state of mind, not
>ancestry.
>
>Blessings,
>Roger

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