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Date Posted: 22:45:00 09/07/01 Fri
Author: Windstorm
Subject: Re: Hate
In reply to: Rain 's message, "Hate" on 09:18:29 07/05/00 Wed


Hello I'm new here. I'll tell you what I think, for what it is worth. I guess maybe this poem feels a little like a nasty letter written to, or for someone. That feeling sort of takes me away from a sense of poetry.Hate is a very strong image which jumps out in the poem, but it finds no reprieve anywhere. The poem begs for a transition.It seems to get stuck with an image. The image is hate,and it overshadows any other imagery that may want to burst forth.
Maybe if there was more imagery to balance the hate image, it would resolve.: ) I dunno

>Maybe I should say this to you
>Yet I still don't know
>How can I say something
>That will shock your core
>
>I hate you now
>The love affair is over
>I hate you now
>
>I don't know what it is
>But the feeling has just died
>I truly believe
>I never loved you at all
>
> I really don't know where to beging improving on
>this one. It just doesn't seem right to me. Help?
>
>Rain

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