| Subject: my first circle! (long post) |
Author:
scarletyoureyes
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Date Posted: 08:26:19 10/18/05 Tue
Last night (Monday) I cast my very first proper circle! I wanted to do a full moon ritual. I followed the format in Cunningham's "Guide for the Solitary Practioner." It was truly awesome. I felt so accomplished afterwards. I felt like "I really really did it! All by myself!" I could definetly feel tons of Goddess energy. It was so peaceful and magical! Afterwards, I did feel a little tired and drained of energy, and even a little "out of it." My roommates were great about it too. Well, one of my roomies was away on a camping trip, but the other was at home (the one I'm actually closer to.) And she said "Okay, if anyone calls for you, I'll tell them you'll have to call them back. And I'll put my headphones on so you can have total peace and quite and seclusion. Just let me know when you're ready to start." That helped so much. I didn't have to worry about distractions or judgements, and I didn't have to feel self concious. She knew how important it was for me and went out of her way to make sure I had what I needed. HOW AWESOME! That made such a difference. It was a really really cool experience.
There were some drawbacks though, and frustrations. I'm sure that with practice these things will get better, so I had to try hard not to get too frustrated, and realize that it was only my first experience. First of all, I couldn't really have a view of the full moon from my room, and doing the ritual outside was out of the question since I live on the main street of my town. I would have had no privacy, and I'm sure a Wiccan ritual would not have gone over well here with the old-order Mennonites that populate the area!(I am living in the heart of PA Dutch country) So, not being able to see the moon wasn't the greatest. But I went outside and sat on the porch afterwards and focused on the moon and felt its energies soaking through me. Also, I could hear a lot of the traffic on main street and that got distracting from time to time. Maybe next time I'll play some relaxing instrumental music. Is this okay?
Another thing I had trouble with was quieting my mind. I had a hard time with visualization because I kept distracting myself with the "how tos" of the ritual. I definetly had a hard time with the meditation and focus, but I think this will get better with more practice. At least I hope! Also, I think the next time I cast a circle or do a ritual I will try to come up with my own words. I used the words in "guide for the solitary" which are undoubtedly beautiful and captivating, but I think I would have felt more connected to the ritual and the words if I had written them myself. I tried to get to the core of the words, but it was almost another distraction, having to read the text. I will definetly try to construct my own words in the future.
Overall, and awesome awesome experience. Dreemy, I tried to call you after I was done but there was no answer at your house. We'll have to catch up soon!
I feel so very connected to this faith now. It makes so much sense to me for so many reasons. I am so glad to have found this!
Peace!
Scarlet
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