*he rests his cheek against the top of her head, holding her as tightly as he could without a thought of his grip, he had that habit of hurting her when he was upset, holding her too tightly, but he wasn't doing anything intentionally this time. He had leaned back against the wall, zoning out to berate himself with angry words and cutting himself down with repeated phrases he had heard over his lifetime. He'd harmed her, it was unforgivable in his mind* -- Holly and Eli's place

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