Z-files: Arc 3 Episode 3: Shattering Chase (part 1) -- Oddfellow's FFVII & Z-Files Discussion Board

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Date Posted: 17:42:26 08/27/01 Mon
Author: Saint Faucet
Author Host/IP: NoHost / 24.130.38.207
Subject: Z-files: Arc 3 Episode 3: Shattering Chase (part 1)

When last we left our intrepid Z-crew, they had successfully launched their frozen friend into the 'safety' of space and settled down to a long series of Quake matches.

Achilles: You know, that was great.

Arkman: Look at the time! I can't believe 2 days have already passed!

Tashi: Well I guess we should think about retrieving Odd... if only to feed him.

Magically, a batch of muffins appear in Tashi's hands.

Aaron walks over to the C.L.O.S.E.T. and pulls out the remote control to Oddfellow's ship. After pressing a few buttons and shaking the device a few times, Aaron starts to panic.

Judicator: What's wrong?

Aaron runs over to an insanely large monitoring device and pounds away at a keyboard.

Aaron: Uh, I've got some bad news and some worse news.

On the monitor, a map of the solar system pops up.

Aaron: Which do you want first?

Silver: Ooh ooh... the bad news!

Aaron: Well the bad news is that Odd's trajectory didn't actually take him to the moon.

Aaron presses a few buttons and a line showing the path of Odd's ship appears. The line misses the moon and continues out of the solar system.

Achilles: That's okay though. It's a universal remote, isn't it?

Aaron: Yah, well that's the worse news.

Aaron holds up the remote.

Aaron: The only set of batteries we have for it are inside the Sith Infiltrator.

The entire group face faults.

Arc 3 Episode 3: Shattering Chase (part 1)

written by Aaron Hartman

Series created/started by Tashi the Templar

A short time later, the Z-files crew gather in the cockpit of a sleek-looking space shuttle.

Achilles: I thought we only had access to Judicator's Sith Infiltrator.

Aaron: Yah, well when I told Bingo that we were on the cusp of an intergalactic biological and political nightmare for the universe at large, he was more than willing to provide the means to rescue Odd.

Madcat: Intergalactic what?

Tashi: He means Oddfellow.

Madcat looks blankly at Tashi.

Tashi: Oddfellow is still infected with the CRAFT?

Madcat looks blankly at Tashi and nods.

Tashi: And some alien races still haven't received the vaccine? Catch my drift yet?

A lightbulb appears over Madcat's head as the realization finally dawns on him.

Judicator: Okay, that I can understand, but what gives with the pack of Robo-Hamsters back there.

Judicator points at an enclosed glass case with five, very angry looking metallic hamsters glaring out of it.

Aaron: Yah, well... Say hello to the R-files team.

The rest of the Z-files team facefaults.

Achilles: The what?

Aaron continues to fiddle with the knobs of the spaceship, preparing it for launch.

Aaron: You heard me. The R-files team. When Bingo heard that Oddfellow was out roaming the galaxy and possibly infecting untold masses, he immediately decided that the mission was too sensitive for the Z-team to handle. Apparentally there's some criteria we don't meet, so the head office was going to send the R-team to retrieve Odd.

Robo-Hamster #1: And we would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you damn, meddling kids.

Aaron: Go stick your wheel where the sun don't shine.

Tashi: They can talk?

Robo-Hamster #2: Screw you, loser.

Achilles walks over to the glass case and glares at the rodents.

Achilles: Spill your guts. Why weren't we chosen for this mission? We know Odd best.

Robo-Hamster #1: You don't even know why you weren't chosen? That's rich!

Silver walks over to the cage and bares her fangs.

Silver: I'm hungry. I think it's time for a pre-flight snack!

Robo-Hamster #2(with a look of fear in its eyes): Ack! Not her!

Robo-Hamster #3: Okay, okay! Basically, the only time you guys get a mission are when it meets all 25 of the Files' criteria.

Madcat: Which is?

Robo-Hamster #2: If no one cares if there's destruction of property, loss of life, someone's toes getting stepped on (figuratively), someone's toes getting stepped on (literally), a time paradox, planetary destruction, diplomatic complications, theft of property, copyright infringement, genetic manipulation, typos, bad breath, blatant rejection of the laws of physics...

Robo-Hamster #1: Etc. Etc. Etc.. The point is that you guys didn't meet any of the requirements. As such, we were called in till that bastard in the pilot's chair spiked our food pellets, locked us in here and stole our ride.

Aaron beams with pride.

Aaron: Ain't I a swell guy?

Judicator: So spill it! How were you guys going to track Oddfellow?

Robo-Hamster #3: No way. Name, rank and serial number from here on out.

Tashi walks over to the ship's computer and taps a few buttons. She taps a few more buttons. She pulls out her hammer and slams it into the control panel. Several lines of text appear on a nearby monitor.

Tashi (reading): Well it says here that they were planning to trick Silver into tracking Oddfellow for them and then they were going to... oh... that's not nice.

Silver reads the screen growls.

Silver: Come on. Come on! Let me eat one of the little bastards!

Aaron: Yah, do whatever. We're launching in five seconds, so make it quick.

Silver: Eenie, meanie, mini... Ah screw it.

Silver snatches up one of the Robo-Hamsters and gives it a big cat-like grin.

Robo-Hamster #4: Robo-Hamster #4. Red tail. Number 0...0...0... I DON'T WANNA DIE!

To be continued... tomorrow...

Author's Notes: Part 1 is today. Part 2 is tomorrow. Odd's cheap-ass birthday present is Wednesday... just in time for his birthday of course. After that, you guys can have the series back. Really! ^_^

- Aaron (snoogins)

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Replies:

haha, very nice -- ark, 21:25:23 08/27/01 Mon
Gotta love those crazy rodents! -- Oddfellow, 02:45:16 08/28/01 Tue