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Date Posted: 10:48:20 07/11/01 Wed
Author: Madcat
Author Host/IP: nas-70-246.albany.navipath.net / 216.67.70.246
Subject: Exciting Job Opportunity!

I was looking for jobs today on headhunter.com, and when I looked under their Administrative / Clerical section for Albany NY, THIS was the first job that came up on the list. I kid you not. I don't know how they let this get by them, but it certainly gave me a chuckle. :-)


Madcat (heading back to searching for a real job)


"I'm sorry, what did you say you did again? I thought I heard Intelligence, but that can't be right....."

#######################################

Job Title: Imperial Adminstrative Assistant

Company: Imperial Death Star

Description

Stuck in a dead end, go nowhere Bounty Hunter job? Chasing down smugglers for Jabba the Hutt not all you hoped it would be?
Uncle Darth wants YOU! Our organization is a galaxy wide government with unlimited growth potential. Our second in command; Darth Vader (Dark Lord of the Sith and mild asthmatic) is in need of an administrative assistant. Responsibilities include, but are not limited to: Tracking down Correlian freighters, Removing bodies of incompetent Imperial officers "let go" by Lord Vader, Screening phone calls from telemarketers (Lord Vader HATES telemarketers) and scratching Darth’s head on the rare occasions when he takes off his helmet. You will work closely with customer service team and provide storm trooper technical support. Will also provide support for the Engineering department as they unleash new weapons of mass destruction. Will also assist in tracking and filing data on rebel activities in Seswanna sector and maintaining current database on all known Jedi mind tricks. Lord Vader will provide optimistic daily appraisals of your performance, and a reminder that "this will be a day long remembered".

Benefits package includes:
Kicking Ewoks
Fnord
Frequent opportunities to yell "Stop Rebel Scum!"
Cool outfits
401K
Stock options in recently acquired Bespin gas mines
Kicking Ewoks
2 weeks paid vacation in the outer rim
Full medical and dental
Kicking Ewoks

Requirements

The ideal candidate for this position will be bright, competent, force sensitive, short tempered, able to work well alone or as part of a team. Must be willing to blast holes in all who oppose the empire. Ability to copilot Star Destroyers a plus, but not a requirement. Should be familiar with the binary language of moisture vaporators. Ideally, you will have a working familiarity with the new Windows Death Star Operating System. Should type 75+ wpm and look good in uniform. Previous management and/or sales experience a bonus. Serve as main liaison to TheForce.net website, where all Imperial news is covered daily. Knowledge of Java (NOT JAWA) is helpful. Must like working under extreme pressure. Inquiries should NOT be sent to our Director of Human Resources: Grand Moff Tarkin, as he is "no longer with the company". Wookies need not apply!

Click the apply online button for more information.

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