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Date Posted: 12:56:45 10/24/04 Sun
Author: teila
Subject: pageants a family affair

Publication:The Gazette; Date:Oct 22, 1995; Section:WOMAN; Page Number:11


Pageants become a family affair/ Three daughters shine in their own ways

Teila Tankersley



The road to a pageant is a fascinating one. Sometimes it's filled with first-time luck, sometimes with disappointment. Contestants come from all walks of life and every age group. Some are drawn in by their own dreams and desires. Others enter to fulfill someone else's hopes and expectations.

Having taken the pageant road as a teen-ager, I was excited but a bit reluctant when our three daughters became interested in pageants.

When they received a flier in the mail inviting them to participate, I was taken back to my experiences as a teen participating in the Colorado Ideal Miss Pageant.

My parents supported me, making it a positive experience. Participating in the pageants was exciting and something I wanted to do. Yet the experience left me with the uncomfortable feeling that I didn't quite measure up whenever I did not win the crown.

When I did win a title and crown, I felt self-acceptance. I spent years trying to overcome the attitude of having to look to someone else for acceptance.

So the decision of whether or not to allow our daughters to participate wasn't made overnight.

My husband and I began exploring the reasons why our girls wanted to compete and what their expectations were. We had our girls list the reasons they wanted to participate.

Our oldest daughter, Darleen, has always been competitive. Darleen wanted to compete in the academic portion of the pageant. She also wanted to enter the speech competition in hopes of enhancing her public-speaking skills. Being active in sports, she already understands the meaning of competition and being her best.

Tylina, our middle daughter, had one main reason for wanting to participate. She has always had an affair with the stage.

Our 5-year-old, Tanisha, announced that she, too, wanted to compete. She was caught up in the glamour and excitement. She had seen the many pageant magazines we had accumulated and wanted to wear the beautiful gowns and make the walk across the stage. It was our youngest who actually had her hopes on a crown and banner.

Our three girls were excited. My husband and I decided that if we were going to allow them to participate, we needed to go in with our eyes wide open. We began to educate ourselves on the different types of pageants.

Our daughters, who entered the American Coed Pageant, already had the confidence to perform in front of an audience and grab the spotlight. Confidence is not learned overnight; it is accumulated over a lifetime. A pageant only draws upon that confidence.

Every contestant who accepts the challenge of competing and being her best is in her own right a winner. Any other awards or trophies are only icing on the cake.

After much discussion, research and preparation, pageant night arrived.

As the lights went down, my parents, our three boys and my husband, Jeff, sat quietly in anticipation. I was sitting near the rear of the auditorium so I could help my daughters with costume changes.

I spent most of the evening escorting them to and from the dressing room, and topping each new outfit with just the right accessories. I was very proud of all three girls.

Soon it was time for Darleen to recite her speech on her favorite American. She finished among the top five. And I could hardly contain myself when she was announced as winner of the community-involvement award, earning $250 and a plaque.

Tylina dramatically sang her favorite song, "Little Mermaid," for the talent competition, then performed her speech, "Youth: pride for the present and hope for the future."

I was overjoyed as the master of ceremonies announced she had finished as the first-runner-up in the speech competition. As I watched them hand her the trophy and admired this beautiful young lady, I was reminded that just eight months prior she had received a trophy for competing on a boys' football team. What a contrast.

Tanisha received an array of pins for participating, a participation trophy and a finalist trophy in the photogenic category. She was enjoying her moment.

She made us proud as she performed her song, "It's Not Logical." She was so anxious that she didn't even wait for the accompaniment and sang it a cappella.

The contestants who earned the crowns and banners that night were not necessarily the elite glamour girls, the flawless faces and the perfect few. But they did have what it takes to be winners.

Some qualities and physical features judges look for in a contestant include a confident smile and a well-groomed appearance.

A contestant who speaks well and has learned to capture her own beauty also fares well. And poise and confidence look good on anyone competing.

There are no guarantees and no magic formulas, only opportunities.

When we returned home from pageant weekend, we put the photos neatly in an album. The memories were positive. We were proud of the night our kids shined.

Because of the pageant, Darleen was nominated for the 1994-95 "Who's Who Among American High School Students," which recognizes community involvement and volunteer work. She also was contacted by a modeling agency in Denver.

Tylina came home just in time to act in a learning film for Pegasus in Colorado Springs.

Tanisha brought home enough trophies to line her shelves.

Our three boys were proud of their sisters, but they have always been proud of their sisters.

I feel we made the right decision in allowing our daughters the opportunity to compete.

Competing is not for everyone. My experience as a teen-ager did not necessarily compare to my daughters' experience.

They did not win the title, yet they understand it is not the crown that makes you a winner.

My husband and I are getting back to our usual routines - but our daughters have informed us that they are looking forward to next year's pageant.

We'll see.

ABOUT THE WRITER

TEILA TANKERSLEY is married and the mother of six children. She is a former Colorado District Ideal Miss and has won other pageant awards. Her daughters made history as the first three sisters competing in three separate divisions of the Miss American Coed Pageant. Her three boys are active in sports. Teila writes as a hobby. She owns and operates Loving Arms Child Care. She says about pageants, "The glamour and excitement lure many young women, while the controversy and the disappointments stir conversations."

@CUTLINE: Tanisha Tankersley is flanked by her sisters Darleen, left, and Tylina. The sisters made history competing in three separate categories of the same pageant. The girls and their three brothers held bake sales and car washes to help cover the costs of the competition.

@CUTLINE: Tanisha sang "It's Not Logical" during the pageant competition.

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