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Date Posted: 08:05:24 12/14/01 Fri
Author: Rita
Subject: Merry Christmas

Hello,

This e-mail is to wish you a Merry Christmas.
My father died Wednesday.

Bill's mother wished to know all the details,
so I wrote them out for her, and I wish to share with all.

Watching Father Die

On November 28, 2001, dad fell. He was an 80-year-old who was living at an
assistance-living complex. Dad's health had been failing. He had gone from
160 pounds to 105. He had broken his hip and was taken to St. Mary's
Hospital in Livonia.

The next day, a doctor called to inform my two brothers and me that dad
needed surgery to relieve his pain. When dad could speak for himself, he
declined all surgeries. The doctor who called recommended to all family
members that surgery was the best choice to relieve dad's pain. When the
doctor discovered that dad had not had a surgery in 50 known years. It was
one surgery after another. Dad was hospitalized from November 28, 2001 to
his death on December 12, 2001.

First it was a hip surgery, then an amputation to the knee. I was not
aware of the amputation. The day after, I had visited dad. He had been in
constant pain since he had entered the hospital. So, when I saw dad
sleeping, I began chatting with the people visiting the next bed.

A doctor entered the room to see dad. I asked about the possible gangrene
that brothers mentioned. The doctor removed the sheets to look at dad's
foot. I didn't see dad's foot. I asked, "Where's his foot?"

The doctor replied, "Foot?"

Since I don't speak clearly, I have to say something several times. "Yes,
foot," and I pointed to my feet, saying, "I have two feet, you have two
feet...dad had two feet...those things at the bottom of your legs."

The doctor moved from the foot of the bed to the center, saying, "Let's
see," and he pulled the sheets from dad's body.

My first thought was that his foot was tucked under his body. Then the
light bulb clicked, "Oh my God, it's been amputated!"

Brother later said, "When a doctor tells you to amputate to remove the
gangrene...He is the doctor and you agree!"

The next day, my husband and I visited dad. He was lying on his side,
appearing to be asleep. Dad's food came about 5 p.m. The man in the next
bed told me that dad had eaten in the morning, but they had to feed him. It
was difficult to feed dad, while he was lying on his side. So, when they
came to pick up his tray, I asked if sitting up would help dad eat better.

Two people entered to move dad to a sitting up position. Dad was in an
unbelievable amount of pain. I wished that I had not asked.

I tried to feed dad some vanilla ice cream. His breathing was heavy and
rattled. He didn't want to eat. I quit the feeding and sat down.

Dad's nurse came into the room. Most people know about the 1908
tuberculosis vaccine that was never used in Michigan. So, I started
chatting with dad's nurse to see if she knew about the 1908 tuberculosis
vaccine. Had the vaccine not been withheld, it would have been developed
into a much better vaccine. The man in the next bed joined in our
conversation. As we chatted, the nurse turned her head to look at dad.
His head was laid back on the pillow, his eyes half open and his mouth was
fully opened. I thought I saw his chest move; it was probably his last
breath.

The nurse placed her stethoscope on dad's chest, shaking her head.
At 6:30, a doctor entered the room and officially declared dad dead. I
considered myself blessed that I was present when both of my parents
had passed on. In dad's case, I wondered if the doctor called the
cause-of-death: surgical pain?

The next day, dad was to go to a convalescent home to die of old age
because he needed special care for his frail condition. So, why mention
"Watching Father Die" and how he died weighting 80 pounds without dignity?

My 81-year-old mother-in-law wished to know every detail. Dad did not
go to a lawyer to file his right-to-die with dignity. He did not state
where
he wished to die: at home with family or in a convalescent home around
strangers. Dad also did not state that when he could not speak for himself,
he did not wish that his body parts be removed, leaving him totally,
painfully bedridden until death. The message to the United States elderly
would be go to an attorney and put it in writing: "Please don't kill me with
surgical pain."

It used to be that you paid your doctor to save your life, this was a case
of paying a doctor to painfully kill you.

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