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Date Posted: 03:59:13 05/22/02 Wed
It says it all!
1. Big companies don't do business via chain letters and there are no
computer programs that track how many times an e-mail is forwarded, let
alone by whom. Bill Gates is not giving you $1000, and Disney is not giving
you a free vacation. There is no baby food
company issuing class-action checks.
2. Proctor and Gamble is not part of a satanic cult or scheme, and its logo
is not satanic.
3. MTV will not give you backstage passes if you forward something to the
most people.
4. The Gap is not giving away free clothes. You can relax; there is no need
to pass it on "just in case it's true."
5. There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans. No one is waking up in a
bathtub full of ice, even if a friend of a friend swears it happened to
their cousin. If you are bent on believing the kidney theft ring stories,
see:
www.urbanlegends.tqn.com/library/weekly/aa062997.htm
And I quote: "The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly issued requests
for actual victims of organ thieves to come forward and tell their
stories." None have. That's "none" as in "zero." Not even your friend's
cousin.
6. Neiman Marcus doesn't really sell a $200 cookie recipe. And even if they
do, we all have it. And even if you don't, you can get a copy at:
www.bl.net/forwards/cookie.html
Then, if you make the recipe, decide the cookies are that awesome, feel
free to pass the recipe on.
7. If the latest NASA rocket disaster(s) DID contain plutonium that went to
particulate over the eastern seaboard, do you REALLY think this information
would reach the public via an AOL chain letter?
8. There is no "Good Times" virus. In fact, you should never, ever, ever
forward any email containing any virus warning unless you first confirm
that an actual site of an actual company that actually deals with viruses.
Try:
www.symantec.com/avcenter/index.html
And even then, don't forward it. We don't care. And you cannot get a virus
from a flashing IM or email, you have to download it....ya know, like, a
FILE!
9. There is no gang initiation plot to murder any motorist who flashes
headlights at another car driving at night without lights.
10. If you still absolutely MUST forward that 10th-generation message from
a friend, at least have the decency to trim the eight miles of headers
showing everyone else who's received it over the last 6 months. (Think Cut
and Paste) It sure wouldn't hurt to get rid of all the ">>>.." that begin
each line either. Besides, if it has gone around that many times we've
probably already seen it.
11. Craig Shergold (or Sherwood, or Sherman, etc.) in England is not dying
of cancer or anything else at this time and would like everyone to stop
sending him their business cards. He apparently is no longer a "little boy"
either.
12. The "Make a Wish" foundation is a real organization doing fine work,
but they have had to establish a special toll free hot line in response to
the large number of Internet hoaxes using their good name and reputation.
It is distracting them from the important work they do. Also, the American
Cancer Society does not give 3 cents for each person you forward e-mail to.
They ask for you to donate money.... money, they don't give it, as if they
could know how many e-mails you sent out...sheesh.
13. If you are one of those insufferable idiots who forwards anything that
"promises" something bad will happen if you "don't,"-then something bad
will happen to you if I ever meet you in a dark alley.
14. Women really are suffering in Afghanistan, but forwarding an e-mail
won't help their cause in the least. If you want to help, contact your
local legislative representative, or get in touch with Amnesty
International or the Red Cross.
15. As a general rule, e-mail "signatures" are easily faked and mean
nothing to anyone with any power to do anything about whatever the
competition is complaining about.
16. KFC really does use real Chickens with feathers and beaks and feet. No,
they really do. Why did they change their name? In this health conscious
world, what was KFC's name? Kentucky FRIED Chicken. FRIED is not healthy.
So they changed the name to KFC. It's short, doesn't offend dieters and
it's easy to remember.
17.. Another thing, just because someone said in a message, four
generations back, that "we checked it out and it's legit,"does not actually
make it true.
PS: There is no bill pending before Congress that will allow long distance
companies to charge you for using the Internet.
Bottom Line... composing e-mail or posting something on the Net is as easy
as writing on the walls of a public rest room. Don't automatically believe
it until it's proven false...ASSUME it's false, unless there is proof that
it's true.
Now copy, paste, and send this to everyone you know or the program I just
put on your hard drive while you read this E-mail will open up your CD-ROM
and reach out and slap you upside the head. (Wake up America!)
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