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Date Posted: 20:22:01 11/10/02 Sun
Author: Cypher
Subject: Stop Me Now

** Cypher is in his old promo set. Always in his lockerroom. **

Well, let's see. We have so many god damned things to talk about this evening, don't we? From Thurman Skydive's threats to yet another match with Deadcell in one week. I've been pretty busy, and I won't be stopped yet. It's bit a hellish two weeks, and it will never stop.

I would like to start off with that horrible act of "spousle abuse" that took place last Saturday. It was appaling and I hope the parties responsible are prepared to take into consideration the fact that a young woman has been decimated on LIVE TV. Damn...what a thing to do. But, wasn't it fun? Hey, I'm no fan of colour, but the fact that it was red, and not white on Tina Sweet's face was actually very, very pleasing. A steel chair, a Cyphashot, and even a Crash and Burn. To top it all off, some new work clothes...Very fun, indeed. It all started with a simple "gesture of love", all from the mind of a psycho. I've been a joke for 5 years, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. But, a hot wedding dress discouloured, and a broken heart is sure to bring some heat back into the name of "The Cyphallic One". Whenever that name was mentioned, memories of a failing stable, a loss column bigger than a Tampa Bay Lightning point column on the NHL stats. Never capitalizing on a title shot. Oh the memories, eh boys? But now, the name will be booed. From an energetic fan-favourite, to a cynical asshole who actually beat his own girlfriend. How horrible. As long as it gets recognition, which is what I deserve. Not that shit where people believe that I'm the fucking grandpa in the MCW, but the recognition of actually bloodying a woman, and almost killing a legend. Remember that Dave Hirschen? Of course you do.. This name of mine will be remembered not for the bad things, but for the horrific accomplishments. All from the mind of Mike Johnson. A former enemy, to a companion. Is it poetic justice, boys and girls? The fan-favourite getting his well-deserved recognition; and a slut getting a live chairshot to the head by her ex-husbands. Damn, it's like a fucking club. Tina, you know that it was coming. My first promo back I asked you to marry me. Are you an idiot? Your first husband actually walking you down the aisle? What a blonde. But, the fun is over. Tina Sweet is over. "A Little Water Clears Us Of This Deed" - Lady Macbeth. No shame whatsoever. No guilt. I am a free man, and look what it's gotten me. A LOST BOYS t-shirt.. In the world of hardcore wrestling, this means a shitload more than whatever Crusher is holding. But it's not enough. You all know that I will be in the HOF before people like the Wonderkid will put a tuxedo on for the event. I am not done though. I haven't earned your respect yet. Nobody can stop me now. Especially some asscovered little shit that calls himself Deadcell.

A man who is part of the famed Xtreme Team. Which is now part of Damage INC, which is now led by the World Champion. I'm sure the boy will have a lot of back up. But who are they to come close to somebody like me? I'ma fucking God. I am quick and agile, and I have the balls to beat up a fucking woman. When you moralastards are out their halfassing your jobs with interviews, I'm here playing Asshole with Mike Johnson and his Lost Boys. Sure I'm the asshole msot of the time, but I still end up winning somehow at the end. Is that possible? Not for you idiots, because your not the Cyphallic One. You can call me cocky, Deadcell, but I can back it up. "It Ain't Braggin' Motherfucker if ya Back It Up!" - Kid Rock. To go against the redneck, it is bragging if you back it up. That's the only time it is bragging. If you can't back it up, you have nothing to brag about. But, I am bragging, I am cocky, and I can back it up. No, not with a loss against you, Deadcell, but with this fucking Lost Boys tee. A man is entitled to a few losses when he is working, and you finished that trend. I am not gonna go around and bitch and complain liek Thurman Skydive about losing a match to a pussy liek you, Deadcell. I'll just use it to fuel more motivation. With each loss the Cyphallica in me gets strengthened. Deadcell, you have just strengthened me. And you will realize that even with your "powerful forces" helping you out on Saturday, and there will be a lot of them, you still won't be able to beat me. I don't care if you got CK, Titanic, Crusher, or fucking Michael Jackson..you will not be able to deal with the effects of Cyphallica. Injected through loss, Cyphallica will destroy everything in it's path. You are no fucking exception, Deadcell. I have the fucking Lost Boys with me. Not a tandem group liek your's could compare to the destruction these guys have causes, and now with an injection of Cyphallica in them, their juices are flowing again. I am not going to waste a few minutes of my time talking about how I will beat you on Saturday, Deadcell, because I have another 6 fucking days to do that. It's not like you're the only thing on my god damned mind anyhow. Your not important. Fuck, my poor sweet wife's health is more important than beating you. You aren't some sort of stepping stone Deadcell, you are deadweight in the company, at the bottom of the barrel, and I am too good for you. The fucking Cyphallics of the world know it. *Booing is heard somehow*. It is time to turn my attention somewhere else.

Thurman Skydive. From the new WWS days. A man who fought with me a few times for the TV Title I've held so much. Five times, I believe. How important is it to a company when the same person holds it five times. Man, everybody must suck horribly if I get to have it five fucking times. But Thurman, the TV Title is of no real importance. Nor the hardcore title which I could soon possibly get. Thurman, it's your empty threats. "Oooh. I'm pissed off at Cypher". "Oooh. He lost the match and I didn't." GET THAT FUCKING DICK OUT OF YOUR ASS, THURMAN!. One fucking match isn't worth dick-all in this company. If you stop and focus on what you have coming up, Thurman, you'll be successful. Making threats towards me and saying that if it wasn';t for me, you would have won will accomplish nothing. Plus, you weren't even supposed to be in the match. You had the advantage of knowing your opponents before going into it, and you still couldn't lose. You had Deadcell beat, and by the rules of the match, I broke the pin. Like a tag partner would do if his partner was losing. And then, you got your ass knocked out and I lost. Wow, good lord, you lost, too. Yeah, Thurmanator, you lost the match too. You may not have been pinned, but you lost. Get that through your thick fucking skull next time, asshat. Jesus, why do I even bother? I don't give a shit what you say about me, though. You could call me a fatherfucker, and I wouldn't pay attention. Focus on what you plan on doing, Thurman..Do you plan on beating me to a pulp? If you think so, yes. You don't plan on losing in a triple threat match, so don't keep fucking talking about it. If you want some of this, bitch, I'm right here. Bring whatever you got, because it's not enough to deal with Cyphallica. I am too much for you, Thurman, and you know it. This is why you threaten and do nothing about it. Back it up, asshole.

Now, to people like Wonderkid and Blade and anybody else who wants some of me. I'm right here if you want me, but I'm already in a fucking match, and I'm already in a "fued" so to speak with Thurman, so wait your fucking turn. Jesus, you guys are all idiots. Scott Cross, you want to attack me? Wait till I'm fucking done with Thurman before you start shit liek this boy. I'm only a one man show here. If I had 6 arms, I'd beat you all to devastation, but I only have two..one for Deadcell and one for Thurman. Think logically, asshats.

I've had enough of this shit. Get the hell out of here!

** Cypher puts the Lost Boys tee on the camera lens, causing it to black out. **


OOC: I hate intros. I'll do an intro in the next one. Sorry about the format and the tremendous amount of spelling mistakes. It's easier for me to write on this board freehand than to write it up in Word and copy and paste it. If only this board could fix spelling. Oh well, I'll do another one in a bit.

PS: I haven't forgotten about Cross, so I'll put one up for him, too.

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