Subject:  You know, I'm really trying to feel better, but..... |
Author:
Nancy Noel
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Date Posted: Thursday, June 26, 04:40:35pm
Here it is a little after 3 in the afternoon, I'm hurting so bad. Where do you go to get away from the pain? I'm hurting, depressed beyond belief. Crying at everything. All because of this stupid body. No relief in sight.
I keep trying to think about how lucky I have it. Like, I have a roof over my head, electric, a bathroom, we got to keep the house after the bankruptcy. Nuttin working.
Sorry, don't mean to be a downer, just this stupid pain. I think over 20 years is way too long.
Of course I heard two sad songs on the radio thismorning again. That didn't help. The one was about the guy who called his wife at home when he was on the plane that went down, my husband and I both sat there and cried. The next one was a song by Reba, 'What am I gonna do about you?' This song has to do with divorce, but when it came out in 1986, that was when my sister had killed herself. I totally lost it after this song. I miss my sister, her name was Mary. I seem to be grieving for all that I have ever lost in my life right now, including my mommy. For crying out loud, it's been almost 30 years since someone killed my mom. Someone tell me to quit it, Please??
I know that pain does funny things to your mind, well, my mind is gone today. So...if anyone out there has a spare, could you overnight it to me?
I have so much work to do, and can't do anything. I wanted to surprise my husband when he got home thismorning by having this living room spotless. But finally gave up at 4am. This place is still a dump. I'm ashamed of it and hate it when my friends come over and see it like this. They do understand tho. Thank goodness.
What are we supose to do? I don't hardly do anything. If it weren't for this computer, I don't know who I would talk to. I love all of you, sorry to be such a bummer, I'm just really sick of this PAIN!!! Nancy
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