Re: I am Not Feeling Good At All Right Now...... -- Fibrocloud

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Subject:

Re: I am Not Feeling Good At All Right Now......

Author:
Marilyn

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Date Posted: Thursday, July 03, 08:44:56am
In reply to: Susan 's message, "I am Not Feeling Good At All Right Now......" on Tuesday, July 01, 01:14:36pm

Hi. I know we haven't met yet as my life has been difficult for me to even handle. i am a teacher so had to get through the month of june. Complications from6/5 surgery made it more difficult but now it is behind me as i returned yesterday with my daughter to do the physical stuff i can't. There are days I just don't know how I make it. It is just a robotic state that keeps me moving from one thing to the other. I think how demanding my teens are and the needs they have for mom but I do think that also keeps me going. Although I may not ffunctin as I used to and they get upset with me, my Mom role is helping me through the day. They are getting used to my breaking done in tears at the end of the day when i just let it out. the house doesn't get cleaned like it used to but I am the only one who really seems to care. I don't cook and grocery shop but the girls can help with the shopping as I got my 17 year old a credit card to make life easier. She is responsible with it and will not have it regularly if she abuses it. I hit the coach a lot or my bed and the rest is critical to existence. It reminds me of when i nursed my babies and the rest that came naturally with nursing meant so much for recharging. I go and lay down and the kids will come to me. I can't always handle what they need but I try to tell them to give me say a half hour and then come back. They are teeens and waiting isn't always in their way of thinking but the longer i am down with this monster the more they are learning to cope with me. I thnk it is also scary to them as i am a single parent and dad isn't willing to always tow the line if it doesn't fit his schedule...most of the time. So, living and learning day by day is the way we survive.
Take the time you need. The emotional toll this takes on us is overwhelming. I have seen 2 different psychologists who have been good but one didn't have office hours after school and i started with her when I first was diagnosed and out on sick leave and I stopped seeeing the other one because of lack of $ to pay the co-pays. I would have returned but i am fortunate enough to have gotten started this week with a specialist in FM who actually is a nationally known speaker and works educating the medical profession. I do feel at times I am looosing my mind. it seems as if i am so overwhelmed it is like having ADHD and being overstimulated and i want to crawl into a hole and escape from the world. It is hard when our brains go so fast and it is hard to sort through it all. But, remember, you can post here or WebMd and take it one thing at a time.
Love, marilyn

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