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Date Posted: 11:25:58 02/02/02 Sat
Author: Manda
Author Host/IP: 213.122.201.109
Subject: hi squeak
In reply to: squeak 's message, "Trust me" on 10:15:21 02/02/02 Sat

squeak,

squeak
>But I won't trust you.

That is your choice; I don't need you to.

squeak
>This is your message Manda. I also am grieved by the "20 questions approach" you present DJ. It reads more like an inquisition than genuine desire to get to know her. It's like you've declared yourself the authority, and DJ is subjected to your interrogation.

DJ
>If DJ was grieved by it, or found it inappropriate, then all she had to do was not answer certain questions, or tell me that she was not comfortable answering them, or say that is not what she has come here to talk about. I was taking my lead from her. She is a grown up and well capable (probably more capable than many) of doing so. Your impression of me says more about you than it does about me.

squeak
>Maybe that's not the way you wish to come across, but behind every question there seems to be lurking an accusation you'd like to attach to it.

I am not concerned about how I come across, I am just being myself here. What evidence do you have to say that I was just waiting to launch accusations when the questions were answered? NONE WHATSOEVER. I know for a fact that you have neither evidence nor proof, because what you describe is not me, not my style at all - not even the way I think. I was merely using active listening, and picking up on any possible hints that DJ herself dropped. Look at my questions, they were mostly asking for clarification of things she had said, so that I could understand better.

It was wrong for you to judge me like that in such a biased fashion. You seem to have a fixed idea about how I should behave and present myself, and if I do not do this, if I do not conform to the way you have already decided is right, then I am pre-emptively judged to be wrong and must have bad motives. This is extremely unfair.

squeak
>Like, "what about your dad, did he live in the home....oh he didn't? There you have it this is the reason why you can't comprehend God.

Not at all. I asked about her father because he is part of the bigger picture; our childhood and upbringing are fundamental to our behaviour and attitudes. I was trying to understand the setting in which DJ grew up which led to her praying to accept Jesus at 9. If she had answered about her father, I was actually going to go on to ask about whether her parents had a faith etc etc.

squeak
>What state did you grow up in? Oh the northeast? There you have it they are liberal bible discounters!"

Erm.... I am from the UK. I have only ever been to Texas, have a friend in Maine; my husband has been to California and Boston (whichever State that is in! [shrug]). Apart from Utah, which I know is largely Mormon, and Northern Carolina which I know has very fundy pockets, I really don't know much about how things are for the churches. I have a particular dislike for some of the stunts pulled by some of the American televangelists, but that is another issue altogether.

You do me a disservice when you prejudge me so, squeak, and again, I say that your bias against me says more about you than it does about me.

squeak
>You may think your motives can't be determined over the board, but really you're more transparent than you think. In fact not even subtle, in my book.

Imagination and bias, squeak, that is all.

squeak
>You tell us you've been discipled in a great way by great teachers.

Erm.. no, please don't put words into my mouth. The church where I was saved discipled me well and in a balanced way, encouraging questioning and independent thought. I said nothing about the greatness of the men and women who did this. Nor did I brag about it.

squeak
>But one of the first things people learn in life regarding social interaction, is that if you want a friend you have to be one.

I have not come here looking for friends, to have my own needs met, squeak.

squeak
>You exalt yourself as some kind of authority,

No, I speak (type) with assertiveness and confidence (not in myself, but in what He has done for me) and for some
reason you appear to resent that, and try to do it down.

squeak
>never showing your own vulnerabilities

Singularly not true.

squeak
>and expect someone you clearly want to pick apart to just lay themselves out before you.

Again, if DJ did not want to answer these questions, she had every right not to answer them, to ignore my post(s) entirely or even to rebuke me for asking them. No-one forced her to answer them.

squeak
>Why don't you lay yourself on the line first, telling us every detail you ask of DJ, tell us how it shaped you and where you noticed chinks in your armor and how God shored them up and how it strengthened your faith. Be open and vulnerable yourself before you start analyzing someone else under the microscope of scrutiny. Open humility is the first order of business.

Ask away; start a new thread if you like, if that is what you want. I am happy to answer any specific question that you like, as I have always been since I have been on the net. I don't generally volunteer stuff without people asking because I am not here for my own needs, to talk about myself, but if anyone wants to know anything, I will do my best to answer.

But I'd had better set one thing straight to start with - there are no chinks in my armour, because it is not my own armour that I am wearing. I got rid of mine. God wants to give us a new sets of armour (part of being a new creation) not patch up the old one.

If you or DJ want to be wary, that is fine by me and causes me no problems.

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