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Date Posted: 09:48:04 04/30/02 Tue
Author: Leigh
Subject: Re: Holiday, 55
In reply to: Leigh 's message, "Holiday, 46" on 01:14:00 04/01/02 Mon

**
Nikita met Stephen that afternoon at a park near her apartment. She’d wanted to meet over lunch but Stephen, suspecting what the meeting was about, didn’t have much of an appetite and suggested the park instead. It was mid-afternoon and there were lots of people out enjoying the sun. They chose a bench further away from the sidewalk that ran the length of the park and they sat side by side with a little space between them.

“I suppose you know why I asked to meet you,” Nikita began. One corner of Stephen’s mouth quirked up into a smile but he didn’t say anything.

Nikita put her purse onto her lap and opened it. She withdrew the velvet ring box inside and held it out toward him. “I’m sorry, Stephen,” she said gently. “I’ve thought about it over the time you’ve been gone and my answer remains the same.”

Stephen didn’t move to take the box. Instead he stuck his hands in his pockets and stared ahead at the children playing in the field before them. After several more seconds and Nikita continued to hold the box out to him, he turned to look into her eyes.

“Tell me one thing,” he said quietly, his eyes searching hers. Nikita lowered her arm and she cocked her head to one side.

“Stephen,” she began, “I ---“

“You don’t have to explain,” he said kindly, and then he smiled and covered her hand with his. “I just want to know if you’re happy, Nikita.”

She looked at him then, her eyes wide. She didn’t have the heart to tell him that she’d never in her life been as happy as she was now with Michael. “You and I,” she said, “we just weren’t meant to be, Stephen.”

His smile was wistful. “I know.” Stephen took a deep breath. He squeezed her fingers and then removed his hand and stuck it back in his pocket as he returned to watching the children at play. “Keep the ring,” he told her. “I bought it for you, I want you to have it.”

“Stephen,” Nikita protested, “no.”

“Please?”

Nikita swallowed, feeling ill at ease.

“You can throw it away if you want,” Stephen continued, eyes lowering. “Just don’t give it back to me, okay?”

Nikita felt her heart twist. Why was it that with Stephen she always came away feeling like the bad guy? “Stephen, I’m not going to throw it away, don’t talk like that. But it’s much too beautiful and expensive for me to keep.”

Stephen looked at her, his gaze intense. “Expense has nothing to do with it, Nikita. That ring will always be yours. If you give it to me now I’ll stand and walk away and leave it here.”

Nikita hesitated. She wasn’t at all comfortable with keeping the ring but didn’t know what else to do. Besides, what would it hurt to keep the ring? She wouldn’t have to wear it but at least she wouldn’t be hurting his feelings further. She returned the ring slowly to her purse. “Thank you,” she whispered, not knowing what else to say.

Stephen smiled and his mood seemed to lighten. “I should have listened to what you were saying two months ago and not put you in this spot. I hope I didn’t cause any problems between you and – is it Michael?”

Nikita’s eyes shifted away.

“That is his name, isn’t it? The man you’re dating now?”

Nikita’s lips pressed tightly together and she crossed her arms over her chest as she turned her face further away from Stephen’s scrutiny. Now why did he have to go and ask that? She was feeling bad enough as it was, did he have to bring up the point that she was with someone else and make her feel even worse?

Stephen laughed softly and Nikita, eyes still angry, swung her head round to look at him. “Why are you laughing?”

Stephen shook his head. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

“Don’t call me that!”

“Okay.” He held his hands up in surrender, mouth still smiling. “It’s just force of habit, Nicky. That’s all.”

Nikita took a deep breath, forcing herself to relax. God, he always riled her in the worst way!

Stephen was still watching her. He leaned closer, his voice quiet. “I’m sorry, Nicky. I wasn’t laughing at you. It’s just that, seeing you sitting there with that frown and all defensive-like, it reminded me of just how ill-matched we are. I never did make you happy, did I?”

Her anger melted. Her head lowered and shoulders drooped. “No,” she said just as quietly. “That’s not true either, Stephen.” Nikita looked into his eyes. “We had some good times together.”

Stephen’s gaze dropped to her mouth and then he looked away quickly. The earlier laughter was gone from his eyes and voice. “I really wanted it to work for us.”

“I know.”

Several seconds passed with neither saying anything. Then Stephen took another deep breath and he reached over and placed one hand over hers. “Can we at least part as friends?” he asked.

Nikita cocked her head to one side and she gave him a crooked smile. “How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“I’d be raging mad if I were in your shoes and yet you sit there all calm. Don’t you hate me?”

Stephen smiled. “I could never hate you, Nicky. I love you.”

A blush crept up Nikita’s neck onto her cheeks. “Even after the awful way I treated you?”

“You never treated me badly, Nicky.”

“Yes I did,” she protested, frowning. “I treated you awful when we were together and you just took it all in stride. I hated that you know.”

“That I never got angry?”

“Yes.” Nikita turned her hand over so that her palm lay flat against his and she gave his fingers a squeeze. “It always made me feel so guilty.”

“Because you didn’t love me the way I loved you.”

Nikita nodded.

Stephen shut his eyes, and then after a moment he pulled her gently toward him, embracing her. “Its okay, Nicky. You can’t help it if your heart doesn’t feel the way I wanted it too.”

Tears pricked her eyes. Nikita slipped her arms around Stephen and she hugged him back. Despite the fact that they were never very good as a couple, she realized that Stephen was and always had been a good friend to her. “I’ll miss you,” she said, and meant it.

Stephen slowly released her. There was a smile on his face as he looked at her. “Hey, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll still be around, Nicky. If you get tired of that new guy you’re with, or just want someone to yell at, give me a call.”

Nikita snorted, then laughed and playfully punched his shoulder. “Be careful, I may just do that.”

Stephen took one last look at her, his gaze taking in every inch of her face. And then he was leaning in, wanting one last kiss before they parted. He moved slowly, giving her every opportunity to stop him.

Nikita felt a moment of panic and then stopped herself. It was just a kiss goodbye. Nothing more.

Closing her eyes, she leaned toward him and gave him one last kiss.


(((Thanks for hanging in there even when I take 'months' to post! lol!!))

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