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Date Posted: 21:56:43 08/05/02 Mon
Author: Xtreme
Subject: Cuddles, the spider

(The scene opens in Xtreme's apartment where Xtreme and Jake are sitting in their usual places, Xtreme in his chair, Jake on the couch. They are both watching the Man Show on Comedy Central and while Xtreme seems to be enjoying it, Jake doesn't look as into it. Xtreme has on his "I'm Still Cooler Than You, Jackass" t-shirt and denim jeans while Jake has on a plain blue t-shirt and jeans. Xtreme notices Jake is not really watching the TV and speaks up about it)


Xtreme: Jake...are you ok? You're not watching the Man Show; you're missing the juggies.


Jake:(Sighs) Yeah I'm fine...


Xtreme: Are you sure? You seem kinda down.


Jake: I guess...I don't know...I'm just depressed...I don't know why.


Xtreme: How can you be depressed while the Man Show is on? Look Midgets!


(Xtreme starts laughing but Jake continues to look depressed and does not look at the TV. Xtreme then realizes this could be serious and stops joking around. Jake sighs again and hangs his head)


Xtreme: Come on, Jake, what's wrong? I bet it's nothing a little beer can't fix.


Jake: I'm not in the mood to drink, Xtreme. It's just that...you go all these places and meet all these people and I'm just here...watching TV all the time.


Xtreme: So do you want to come with me next time? Hey, how about you be my manager!


Jake: No, Xtreme...nothing personal but I don't want to be your manager. It's just, you get to meet all sorts of people and I guess...I'm lonely.


Xtreme: Lonely? You got me and you got beer; how could you be lonely?


Jake: I don't know Xtreme...I just don't know...


(The scene fades out to black as Jake gets up and walks into the next room and leaves Xtreme sitting there, puzzled)


THE NEXT MORNING



(The scene fades into Xtreme's room where he is putting on socks and then his black shoes. It looks as if he is going somewhere)


Xtreme: It was a stroke of genius when I thought of this...Jake is lonely so what cheers up lonely people? Getting a pet! I haven't told Jake we're going anywhere yet so I'm going to go surprise him.


(Xtreme walks into the living room to see that Jake has the TV on Cartoon Network, but is not watching it. Jake looks up at Xtreme and realizes it looks as if he is going somewhere)


Jake: Where are you going?


Xtreme: Not where am I going...where are WE going.


Jake: I don't want to go anywhere right now...I don't feel like it.


Xtreme: You don't even want to go to the pet shop?


Jake: The pet shop? Why would we go there?


Xtreme: To get you a pet, Jake!


(Jake picks his head up and almost cracks a smile. He quickly puts his shoes and socks on and jumps up off the couch)


Jake: What are we gonna get? Huh Xtreme?


Xtreme: Whatever you want to get, Jake.


Jake: Really! Wow!


(Jake races to the door and opens it. He almost looks like his normal self again)


Jake: Come on, Xtreme!


(Xtreme follows Jake, glad to see he is back to his almost normal self. The pet shop is not far, so they walk instead of drive. Jake looks over at Xtreme and says)


Jake: Xtreme, shouldn't you be getting ready for Michael Merlin instead of worrying about me? I mean, I appreciate it and all but he already beat three people to get a shot at you. Aren't you worried?


Xtreme: I suppose I'm as worried as I always am before a match, but I know I can defeat Merlin. Sure, he may have beaten three of his AW buddies, but I beat half the GWA frickin' roster to get this title. Since everyone on the roster was in the tournament...I technically beat everyone in the GWA, technically. I am better than everyone I beat...I mean I must be or else how could I have won? I am better then Sean Fury, better than Chris Carpenter, better than Skylar Thomas, and better than OutLaw and Kira Benson. Hell, I beat the last two at the same damn time, yet Merlin still thinks he is going to have his way with me and take my title, which I remind everyone I still do not have around my waist. Speaking of OutLaw, though, I was very pleased to hear that I have run yet another person out of wrestling for good. It seems that he could not bare the loss to me and figured the only way out of his humiliation was to quit. Well good luck in whatever you pursue next, I'm sure you'll perform just as mediocre at it as you did here. Here's a guy that made fun of my name the whole tournament, said I was no problem to beat and when the time came for him to put his money where his mouth is, he dropped the ball and then claims he had to "put Xtreme over". No one put Xtreme over, bitch, Xtreme IS over. He didn't put me over...he just lost! Plain and simple. I guess some people are just sore losers...of course I wouldn't know anything about that seeing as how my undefeated streak is still going strong. Lets see adding my wins at To The Max I am now...seven and O! Does Merlin honestly think he can stop me? I've defeated new comers, former champions, and legends and now this small time AW punk thinks he is going take my title a week after I won it? I may not be the best champion this federation has ever seen, but I sure as hell am NOT going to lose my title any time soon...especially in my first defense.


Jake: Yeah but he seems like a good mat technician and you're more of a brawler, ya know?


Xtreme: I know, Jake. Many people, especially Merlin, have pointed this out to me. But you know what? I'm just a good a mat technician as Merlin is, if not better. Just because I prefer another style, doesn't mean I can't do another. If Merlin thinks he is going to out wrestle me he is in for a big surprise. I may not have wrestled in a long time, but it's like riding a bike; you never forget. Even still, Merlin doesn't seem like the fighting type to me, so while he'll be trying to go double leg take downs and such, I'll just be pounding away on him unmercifully. But I know he is still going to whine about me cheating before and he is "going to be ready for my cheating", since he's such an expert wrestler; but I won't need to cheat to beat him. Maybe I needed a little help to beat Skylar Thomas but hey, I lasted longer against him than Merlin would but I still won, didn't I? I still got my hand raised after mine and Skylar Thomas' match, and that's all I care about. I don't care if Merlin has never cheated at anything in his life or not...just because I do doesn't mean I can't beat him fairly. I've defeated many people without cheating, and I will not need to cheat to beat this puke. For a new guy, this Merlin sure has a lot of trash to talk, and it seems to me someone needs to show him why he isn't the best thing since canned beer. He needs someone to take him down from this high and mighty cloud he is on. He has no reason in the world to claim that he is better than me, yet he sure is trying. It seems to me the odds are against him...I am a GWA champion; he is a new AW guy. I am undefeated in GWA competition; people could care less about his record from AW. I am Mr. Storm's Chosen Champion; Mr. Storm is not fond of the AW guys ever since they interrupted his show a few weeks ago. Mr. Storm has told me there will be a new era in wrestling...an era where the talented, like me, will be rewarded and where the pompous, smug losers, like Merlin, will be punished. Merlin thinks himself above people and I will delight in showing him he is not fit to clean my boots. I will take great pride in showing this newbie how we treat insolence in the GWA. I love nothing more than to watch people eat their words and after Insurrection, Merlin will be eating a whole bowlful.


Jake: But don't forget, you also have a triple threat match against Ghetto Blaster and Filipe Bariqueerio in the FWF Last Man Standing tournament.


Xtreme: Oh I haven't forgotten about them, Jake, I'm just getting to them. These two have the gaul and audacity to not even come on TV and address me? I'm the goddamn GWA Colosseum champion and these two nobodies don't even care? Who in the blue hell do they think they are? I mean, first off Filipe shouldn't even be in this round since he had to face Lost Worlds in the last round. They fought to a draw? Lost Worlds should've been the only one advancing to this round but no matter, Filipe will not make it to the next round. Neither him nor Ghetto Blaster will be advancing any farther in this tournament. How do I know this? Because they are both facing me! I will be the FWF LMS 2002 Champion and I will not let two little peons the likes of Ghetto Blaster and Filipe Barriqueerio stand in my way. When I meet Lost Worlds in the finals, everyone will see that I was just wasting my time fighting worthless opponents like Ghetto Blaster and Filipe Whateverthehellhisnameis. It was all just a waste of his valuable time because he is the best damned GWA Colosseum champion ever. Now adding up all of the wins from the LMS and in the GWA my record is now at...nine and O. I don't think Ghetto Booty and Filipe Mylastnameiswaytoolong can stand up to a man of my stature and they will see just how futile their efforts thus far have been. They might as well just pack it up and go home now because I refuse to lose to them or anyone else. I will make it to the finals and show all the FWF guys why I should've been in this tournament last year. I wasn't picked that year for some ungodly reason and now I'm showing them just why I should've been put in last year as well. I guess my two opponents just have better things to do than worry about me but when I'm advancing to the next round and they are wondering what the hell just hit them, they'll reconsider ever underestimating the GWA Colosseum Champion. XTREME HAS SPOKEN.


(Xtreme and Jake come to the corner pet shop down the street from Xtreme's apartment building. They walk in the door and Jake's eyes light up looking around at all the different animals. Puppies, cats, birds, fish, anything you can imagine)


Jake: I can pick out anything!


Xtreme: Just as long as it doesn't cost too much.


(Jake runs around excitedly, looking at all the different pets. The guy behind the counter looks confused by Jake...a grown man acting like a kid? Well that's just Jake so pay no mind. Jake passes by all the cats and dogs and birds. He goes by the fish and gerbils to the back where the exotic animals are. Spiders, snakes, frogs and such. Xtreme looks puzzled that Jake doesn't want a kitty or puppy, but he is now looking at the spiders. Jake bends over to look into one spider cage and it jumps up at the wall as if trying to attack Jake. Jake finds this cute and cool and says)


Jake: Ooo! I'll name you Cuddles! Can I get it, Xtreme? Please?


Xtreme: A spider Jake? Are you sure you don't want a hamster or a cat or something?


Jake: This spider is cool, though! It jumped up when it saw me because it liked me!


Xtreme: No Jake...I think it was trying to attack your face.


Jake: Still, can I please get it??


Xtreme: Sure, buddy, you can get it.


Jake: Yay!


(Xtreme picks up the spider cage and brings it up to the guy at the counter. The spider gets restless and starts to jump at boths sides of the cage. The guy at the counter looks surprised at Jake's choice)


Guy: This is a Mexican Jumping Spider...are you sure you want it?


Jake: Yes!


Guy: Ok...they eat crickets and bugs like that so altogether for the spider habitat, spider, and food, that'll be one hundred fifty three dollars and thirty nine cents.


(Xtreme frowns and looks over at Jake who seems to be having fun watching the spider try to get through the plastic to bite him. He takes out a credit card and hands it to the guy. The guys runs it through the machine and hands it back to Xtreme with a recite. Jake picks up the cage and Xtreme takes the food in a little bag. They leave the pet store and head back to Xtreme's apartment. The walk seems shorter on the trip back as Jake watches his new pet every minute of the walk. They walk into the lobby of the building, but are greeted by Mitch, the landlord)


Mitch: Whoa, whoa, whoa...what is dat dere?


Jake: This is Cuddles! He's my new pet!


Mitch: Pet? You know the rules don't you...no pets allowed!


(The happiness and excitement Jake had a moment ago are gone, replaced by a look of sadness. Jake looks down at his spider as Xtreme walks over to Mitch and speaks to him so Jake can't hear)


Xtreme: C'mon, Mitch, be reasonable. It's a spider, not a dog or a cat. We won't let it out or anything. Besides, Jake really needs a pet. He's been really depressed lately and well...c'mon Mitch, can't you just look the other way?


Mitch: I wish dere was something I could do, but rules are rules. What if the other tenants found out I was letting you of all people keep a pet against the rules? There'd be riots!


Xtreme: I don't know about riots but...


Mitch: I'm sorry, Xtreme, but no.


(Xtreme turns back to Jake and walks over to him)


Xtreme: Sorry Jake, but we can't keep him here...I really wish there was something I could do...but there isn't.


Jake: I understand, Xtreme...


Xtreme: Let's go see if we can return Cuddles so maybe someone else can keep him. I'm sorry Jake.


Jake: It's ok, Xtreme...rules are rules...


(Jake turns and trudges toward the door, much slower and less exuberant than he was a few minutes ago. That's too bad for Jake...he really seemed to like Cuddles. The scene fades out to black as Xtreme and Jake leave to go back to the pet shop and Mitch walks away, rubbing his head and wondering if he did the right thing)

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