Welcome to the suburbs, where the grass is green...Part 2 or however many I fee like making -- GWA Insurrection Role-play board

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Date Posted: 21:28:59 08/11/02 Sun
Author: Xtreme
Subject: Welcome to the suburbs, where the grass is green...Part 2 or however many I fee like making

(The scene opens in the old bedroom of Xtreme in Xtreme's parents house. Xtreme is sitting in the chair next to the bed, watching TV. Jake is sitting on the bed, watching TV with him. It is around noon time, but it looks like both of them just woke up. Xtreme is wearing a pair of denim jeans and a shirt that simply says "Beer" on it. Jake has on a pair of khaki shorts and a plain white t-shirt on. Xtreme is flipping around through the channels randomly until he suddenly stops and turns off the TV. Jake looks over to him and says)

Jake: There's nothing on TV. What is there to do in the suburbs anyway?

Xtreme: Not much, as I recall. The only thing we ever did when we were kids was go someplace else or talk about going someplace else.

Jake: Like where?

Xtreme: Like to the city.

Jake: Well we can't go back yet, we just came from there. Where else did you go?

Xtreme: Well there is one other place we went, but I hated going there.

Jake: Where's that?

Xtreme: I don't want to go there so don't bother.

Jake: Come on, Xtreme. It has to be better than sitting here doing nothing.

Xtreme: I'd rather be...

Jake: Damnit, Xtreme, tell me!

Xtreme: Do you really want to go to the mall, Jake?

Jake: The mall? Of course I want to go to the mall! Why wouldn't I want to go to such a momument of consumerism?

Xtreme: Malls are too big and have too much useless crap. Like all those stupid mall rat kids. They just hang out there all day. I can�t stand them, they piss me off so much. That�s why I don�t want to go to the mall.

Jake: But what about the cookies!

Xtreme: Oh yeah the cookies are pretty good, lets go�.DAMNIT!

Jake: Ha! You said lets go so now we have to go!

Xtreme: Sometimes I really hate you, Jake.

Jake: I know�it�s great isn�t it?

(Xtreme gets up out of his chair, obviously annoyed at Jake. He gets his keys and heads downstairs and out the front door. Jake follows close behind as they get into his car and begin the drive to the closest mall. The scene fades out as Xtreme races off down his street, but then fades back in when he is pulling into a parking spot. He steps out of his car and Jake gets out excitedly. He follows Xtreme into a particular entrance of the mall)

Xtreme: Well there is one redeemable thing about this mall. It has the best arcade around.

Jake: Arcade!? I like arcades!

(Xtreme and Jake enter the mall and Xtreme immediately looks to his left, only to see the hollowed out shell of what used to be the arcade. He falls to his knees and cries out)

Xtreme: NOOO!!! Not the arcade! Place where I spent so much of my money as a youth! Damn it all to hell!

Jake: Look here�(Jake points to a small sign and begins to read off it) �Formerly �Pocket Change� arcade. Coming soon �The Art Gallery�. Well that sucks.

Xtreme: Damnit! Damn you Art Gallery! Damn you mall! Ooo�I smell cookies!

Jake: So do I!

(Xtreme and Jake both rush off to find out where the closest Mrs. Fields cookie stand is. Luckily it is right underneath them on the floor below them. They both rush down the stairs and order one of the huge cookies they have. They cookies are warm and all good looking as Xtreme takes a bite into it and pays the guy behind the counter)

Xtreme: Ah�mall cookies.

(Xtreme and Jake begin to wander aimlessly around the mall, looking for anything worth doing now that the arcade is gone. They finish their cookies and head into the bookstore to look at the magazines. Xtreme picks up a wrestling magazine that, to his surprise, has a picture of him on the cover winning the Colosseum championship. He smiles and opens up to the article. The title reads �Jackass claims new prize in GWA: This Jackass has something to prove�. Xtreme begins to read over the article as Jake picks up a �High Times� magazine and Xtreme gives him a weird look. Jake actually reads the title of the magazine, smiles nervously and puts it back down. He wanders off into another part of the bookstore. Xtreme closes the magazine but does not put it back down)

Xtreme: This magazine makes so good points�many good points. Like how I should prove to be the most dominant Colosseum champion ever. Like how the Colosseum title has a good holder in Xtreme. I told everyone before I won this title that I would make it mean something. I told everyone that I would make this title so damn valuable that everyone would try and take it from me. Obviously, I am right. OutLaw stole the goddamn belt from me, I beat Michael Merlin last week and this week I have to face a GWA legend in Skylar Thomas. Why would a man like Thomas want to fight me again, after I�ve already beaten him? I know why! Because he wants my title! I�ve taken this gutter trash title and turned it into something even legends would be proud to wear and all in the span of a few weeks! How? I�m just a swell guy or something�I don�t know. But seriously, I have taken this title and transformed it into a title people want to get their hands on. You see, there�s only one small problem with that�I have it. And as long as I am breathing, this title will belong to me. I have worked too damn hard and too damn long to let my first GWA title slip away so soon. I intend to have this belt a very�very long time. You see, Skylar, I do not think you will be able to beat me this time around�just like you were unable to beat me the first time around. People have called my win a fluke but a win is a win, and that is all that matters to me. You can talk endlessly like you did last time about how I shouldn�t have beaten you or about how I�m not going to beat you this time�but statistics don�t lie, my friend. The win/loss records don�t show how I won�it only has Xtreme with the big W and Skylar Thomas with a big, fat L. L being for LOSER of course, but we all saw you get pinned. We all saw the mighty �Assassin� get pinned by �just another rung on the ladder�. Is that not what you called me before, Skylar? I think you also said �You actually think I�m gonna let you make me look bad on TV?�, did you not? Well I think you looked pretty damn foolish after all the big talking you did and ended up on your back, staring at the rafters. Did you get a chance to count them while you were on your back, Skylar? Well if you didn�t, you�re going to get another chance this week at Insurrection. I know all your tricks now, Skylar. All it takes is one time for me to know all the little nuances of a person�s style, and yours is so predictable it nearly made me laugh. You spoke so highly of yourself, but for what? I saw nothing special about you. So you made me bleed at To The Max; is that not what I wanted? I wanted someone to give me an ass kicking because lord knows it�s the only thing I haven�t done yet in the GWA. I�ve won awards, I�ve won titles, I�ve beaten new comers, I�ve beaten legends�all there is left for me is to lose�but I highly doubt you will able to put me down for the count. You failed to before, so how in gods name do you think you will able to now? Counting all my wins so far in the GWA alone I stand at around�nine and O. That�s not even taking into account the FWF Last Man Standing tournament wins which would put me at around eleven and O. But you still run around telling people you are better than me�trying to make them believe that you are speaking the truth. I think the only one you�ve managed to convince is yourself. You are so sure you�ll beat me�but you seem to be the only one who thinks that way. I certainly don�t, Mr. Storm doesn�t, the fans don�t�hell no one in the locker room thinks you can beat me either. So why do you waste my time with your petty challenges when you are clearly NOT IN MY LEAGUE. Where have I heard those words before�I believe YOU told them to ME before To The Max, didn�t you? How times have changed in only a few short weeks, eh? Why, it was only two weeks ago I was considered the under dog against the great Skylar Thomas and now you are the one fighting to beat the odds�only you are the only one who thinks you can defy the odds. You are the only one who thinks you are capable of defeating me. I must commend you on your tenacity but this match will no different from our last meeting. This match will end one of two ways�A, I win�B, I win�and that�s all there is to it.

(Xtreme puts the magazine back on the rack and browses over the rest of the magazines. He finds a magazine that has Assassin on the cover. He opens in up to the article and reads it for a few moments before closing it and placing it back on the rack)

Xtreme: But now this brings me to my other, and first match, at Insurrection. Mr. Storm has seen fit to team me with Assassin to do battle with The Union and The Usual Suspects. Everyone knows how I feel about the Circle�they�re nothing but a bunch of losers who can�t deal with the fact that one of their most hated adversaries, Mr. Storm, is now their boss. Look at OutLaw, all I EVER hear him do is complain about crap that no one cares about but him and his buddies. Craven and Ali are no different�.they do nothing but complain and shit that no one gives a damn about. I don�t think these two have made their opinions about this match vocal yet, but when they do they will probably have something to cry about. If they have, well I haven�t cared enough to listen to them because I know all they will be doing is whining I mean, didn�t Craven lose to his buddy OutLaw in the semi-finals for my Colosseum championship? If he lost in this tournament�wouldn�t that make me better than him? In fact, didn�t Ali lose in the tournament as well? Wouldn�t ya know, I suppose that makes me better than him too! Still, Assassin and I are more than competent enough to take down the likes of Craven and Ali. Assassin has already held the Legion titles before with Snoops�hell he�s already been the Gladiator Champion for a while, so why would anyone dare doubt our abilities? I�m undefeated and currently the Colosseum champion, his track record speaks for itself�how could ANYONE doubt that? Then we have the pairing of Goliath and Jim Daher of the Union. Where do I begin about these two men who have been around for eternity it seems? If they didn�t already know, Xtreme is the future of the GWA and they are the past. Just like everyone knows�the future replaces the past just as I will when Assassin and I destroy them and get a shot at the Legion title. Once we beat them, we have to take on the Violent Femmes to become Legion Champions. The Violent Femmes are being challenged for their titles this week, but I feel that Critically Acclaimed will stand no chance against the femme fatale. I almost hope they are still tag team champions when me and Assassin finally get our shot at them. Why? So I can show everyone why you never send a woman to do a man�s job. Sure, women play a big role in the GWA, but we all know why. When the fans get tired of seeing big sweaty men role around, they send some sweaty women to role around. True, some have wrestling talent, but they are nothing I can�t, and haven�t already, defeated. I beat Porcia Raventhorne a while back, and more recently I beat Kira Benson in the finals of the Colosseum title tournament. I look forward to seeing just how good our tag team champions really are�just before me and Assassin take their titles and we become the new Legion champions. Double champion Xtreme�has a nice ring to it, doesn�t it? I think it does and I will not miss my chance to be able to call myself that. Don�t take it personal, ladies, I don�t usually hit girls, but in this case I�ll make an exception. XTREME HAS SPOKEN.

(Xtreme finishes talking and goes off to find Jake. Jake is in the children�s section, sitting in one of those little chairs made for kids, reading a Pokemon picture book. When he looks up, he is startled to see Xtreme standing over him and falls backward in the little chair. He stands up as if nothing happened and puts the Pokemon book back on the rack and tries to act cool�even though I don�t think that is possible for Jake to do)

Jake: So�uh�are we going? I�m getting sick of this nerdy bookstore.

Xtreme: Yes, Jake, we�re going.

Jake: Good. Where are we going now?

Xtreme: Where do you want to go, Jake?

Jake: Toy store! Lets go to the toy store!

Xtreme: Ok, Jake, we�ll go to the toy store. Calm down, man.

Jake: Sorry.

(Xtreme and Jake exit the bookstore and head down to the first floor of the mall. They begin walking in the direction of the toy store but pass a Hot Topic on the way)

Jake: What�s that place?

Xtreme: I don�t know, I�ve never been in there.

Jake: Looks scary�I think it�s a Halloween costume shop!

Xtreme: Somehow I don�t think that�s what it is.

(Jake goes running off and Xtreme has no choice but to follow him. Jake runs in and looks around at all the shirts and pants and raver clothing. He goes deeper into the store, and Xtreme decides not to follow him deeper in and stay at the front of the store, looking at the t-shirts. He picks up one that is a green camouflage shirt that says �You can�t see me� on the front in white letters. Xtreme chuckles at it, but then a guy with lots of piercings walks up to him. He probably works there)

Pierced Guy: Hi and welcome to Hot Topic. Can I help you with any�wait�aren�t you Xtreme from the GWA?

Xtreme: Yes, that would be me.

Pierced Guy: Oh, awesome! I saw you destroy Michael Merlin last week. It was most excellent.

Xtreme: Thanks, I appreciate it.

Pierced Guy: What are you going to do about OutLaw? You�re not going to let him get away with attacking you, are you? And was it him who stole you belt, I think it was but I�m not sure.

Xtreme: You�ll just have to wait and see if OutLaw gets what�s coming to him or not. I�m pretty sure he is the one who stole my belt, though. He has this stupid grudge against me now just because I beat him at To The Max. The guy can�t take a loss graciously and now he�s acting like an ass.

Pierced Guy: Yeah what he did to you was not cool, not cool at all.

(Suddenly Jake comes running up to the two guys, wearing a pair of raver fairy wings)

Jake: Look, Xtreme, I�m a fairy!

Xtreme: Yes you are, Jake, now take off those wings. I�m not buying them for you.

Jake: Alright�

(Jake slowly walks away with his head down)

Pierced Guy: Ah, so that was Jake. I always wanted to know if he was as stupid in real life as he is on TV.

Xtreme: Yes, if not stupider. This is a nice store you got here but nothing here is really for me. I�ll be going now.

(The guy holds out his hand to shake to Xtreme extends his arm and the guy starts to do one of those weird hand shakes the teenagers do now a days. It frightens Xtreme and he pulls away and slowly walks backward. Jake walks out of the store, but takes off down the mall because the toy store is now in sight. Xtreme sees Jake run and follows after him. Jake runs into the toy store and begins to run around�well�like a little kid in a toy store. He heads for the Pokemon aisle and starts to look at all the new figures and stuff)

Jake: I want this one�and this one�and this one�and this one�and�

Xtreme: Do I look like I�m made of money, Jake? You can pick one.

Jake: Aww�ok.

(Jake looks over his selections and picks out one and hands it to Xtreme. Xtreme looks at it and takes it up to the counter)

Xtreme: Meowth? What the f is a meowth?

Jake: Meowth is Team Rocket�s sidekick Pokemon! He never has to stay in a Pokeball and he is super smart and can talk and�

Xtreme: Ok, fine, Jake. Let me go pay for it so you can play with your Meower or whatever its called.

(Xtreme walks up to the counter and pulls out his wallet as the scene fades to black. Seems like everything comes back to Pokemon in one way or another, doesn�t it? Eerie.)

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