VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, [2], 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 19:47:09 07/18/02 Thu
Author: Xtreme
Subject: Pokemon: Fact or Fiction? You decide.

(The scene opens in Xtreme's apartment. It is night outside and Xtreme is sitting on his bed, watching a small TV that sits on his dresser. He is watching something on Game Show network. He looks tired and sort of upset. He presses the mute button on the TV so he doesn't have to talk over it)


Xtreme: I bet you're wondering why I'm sitting in my room at night watching the Newlywed Game on TV, aren't you? I know, most of you were thinking about pie or something but I'm sitting in here because Jake bought some...well a lot of Pokemon video tapes off of that E-Bay thing and he's been watching them non-stop. He's sitting under a blanket in the living room memorizing all the Pokemon and memorizing all the lines from the shows...and some of the shows are in Japanese! He's been watching them so much it's starting to scare me. Just go look for yourself.


(Xtreme motions to the door and the cameraman opens it. He walks down a small hallway to the living room where Jake is sitting in the middle of the floor watching Pokemon on TV. He is reciting line after line of the show, and starting to talk like he's in the show)


Jake: No, Charmander! You're flamer attack won't work on that Golem! He's a rock type! Watch out Charmander!


(The cameraman steps closer but the floor squeaks and Jake turns around quickly to see what it was. He scares the cameraman who turns and flees to the relative safety of Xtreme's room. Noticing his quick return, Xtreme states)


Xtreme: See, I told you it was bad. I don't know what I'm going to do about him. I just don't know. Well the only thing I really can do is go to sleep and hope he snaps out of it tomorrow.


(Xtreme turns off the TV and turns around on his bed and lays down. The scene fades out to black as Xtreme starts to fake snore to give the cameraman a hint to leave)


THE NEXT MORNING



(The scene opens in Xtreme's kitchen where he is standing at a counter eating a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Jake is no where to be see and Xtreme looks even more worried than he did last night. He finishes his mouthful of cereal and pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket. He sets the bowl down on the counter and reads the note aloud)


Xtreme: When I woke up this morning this was all I found in the living room. "Xtreme, I have decided that I want to become a master Pokemon trainer like Ash. I'm off catch some Pokemon with the Pokeballs I made. Minion is coming with me to help me be the world's greatest Pokemon trainer. I don't know if I will ever see you again. Signed, Jake." Well one thing is for sure, that if I don't find Jake and Minion soon they could get into some real trouble. I better go to Lost's place to see if he knows anything about this.


(Xtreme exits his apartment and runs down to the parking garage. He hops into his car and begins to drive out of the garage. He floors it out onto the street only to get stuck in a long line of cars. He sticks his head out the window to see that far ahead of him is a construction sign with men standing around a hole, peering down into it. Seeing there are no roads that he can turn onto, Xtreme is stuck in this mess)


Xtreme: Well it seems I'm going to be stuck in this mess for quite some time. Mess...that word reminds me of Vanity in a way. Now I know you're saying what in the hell does that have to do with Vanity? Well I'll tell you; since Vanity feels he doesn't need to address the very real and present threat I present to him, I'm going to leave Vanity in a bloody mess when we have our match in a couple of days. If Vanity does not feel the need to show his face in public and realize that I could be the end of his career, he does not deserve a wrestling match with me; he deserves a red ass beat down, and thats exactly what he's going to get. I'm going to tear Vanity apart because he doesn't think I'm worth his precious time, I suppose. He doesn't feel that I'm a big enough threat to even worry about. Well when we have our match in a couple of days he's will see just why I am going to be the next Last Man Standing Champion. Vanity will be left half alive in a pool of his own blood, face down in the center of the mat wondering what he could've possibly done to deserve such a beating. Well I'll tell ya, jack, you got picked to fight the wrong mofo in the first round, that’s what you did. Hell, I don't even know you and that's going to make beating the shit out of you that much easier and that much more fun for me. I'll probably never see you again but you will never ever forget the name of Xtreme. Even if people aren't talking about the man Xtreme, maybe they're talking about some new extreme video game, you'll always think back to thrashing I'm going to hand out to you in a few days. You don't deserve to be in the same ring as me, Vanity. You think you're too good for me to even come on TV and say anything about me? The only advice I can give you, Vanity, is be ready because the EMT's are going to have to piece you back together after I'm done with you.


(Xtreme pauses, looks out his car window to see that he is almost to a point where he can turn, but not quite there yet)


Xtreme: But as the saying goes, if it's not one thing it's another; and that other thing is Chris Carpenter. My next opponent in the Coliseum title tournament, well actually my first since Sean Fury was a no show. See, I told everyone that he would turn and run at the very sight of me, and what happened? When it came time for our match, Sean Fury was nowhere to be seen. I hope Chris Carpenter doesn't give a repeat Sean Fury performance, in fact I know he won't. Chris Carpenter always gives his matches his best shot...even if he does fall flat on his face a lot. Just like last year when you and my buddy Lost Worlds squared off, and he kicked the shit out of you. Since hearing that you were my next opponent in the Coliseum title tournament, I've been watching that match over and over again to see just what I can to do make sure that I get one step closer to the Coliseum title, and to make sure that you are stopped dead in your tracks. I do not intend on losing this chance at the Coliseum title since I think it's about damn time that I get my hands on some GWA gold, don't you? I mean, I've been around this place for probably a combined time of over a year and in that time I've seen my pal Lost win the Maximus and Gladiator title, while I haven't even had a title shot yet. I've been steamrolling over all of my opponents as of late and although Chris Carpenter will present a challenge for me, that's exactly what I've been after for weeks now. Chris Carpenter, Johnny Storm's "chosen one" will be reduced to nothing more than a small whimpering child at the hands of Xtreme. Although Mr. Storm did give me the...hmm..."gift" of Porcia Raventhorne a few weeks ago, which has seemingly struck a nerve with Pussy Galore, I'm going to be unmercifully brutal to his golden boy, Chris Carpenter. Whenever I see any of Carpenter's promo's, one thing always strikes me the same way; he has an overwhelming smug-ness to him. Everything that goes on in the GWA is about Chris Carpenter because he is just so great. Don't get me wrong, Chris is an accomplished wrestler, but over-confidence usually leads to one's downfall. Carpenter feels that no one is worthy enough to wrestler him...well...just because. He's so smug in fact that after Lost beat him, he bitched and moaned about it for weeks. Talk about being a sore loser...something I would know little about since I have yet to lose in my second coming to the GWA. I am undefeated since returning to the GWA and I intend to keep it that way. Chris Carpenter is nothing more than a little foul mouth pot smoker who is going to be too high in clouds to realize just how badly of a beating he is going to get when we meet in the ring next week. There's nothing I hate more than a bunch of stoner fucks running around thinking they are better than me. Stop being a little bitch smoking your wacky weed and do some real mind altering stuff like Bacardi 151. But all that aside, I still feel in no way threatened by this smug pot smoker who thinks that Jim Daher is a bigger threat to him than I am. Just like the advice I gave to Vanity; all I can say is be ready, Carpenter, because when there's gold on the line, I'll do ANYTHING necessary to be successful.


(Seeing that he has finally reached the end of the construction zone, he peers out his window to see just what was holding him up. One man in a deep hole looking at some pipes and about 5 other guys standing around the hole looking at him looking at a pipe; our tax dollars at work. Xtreme turns the corner and drives over to Lost's as fast as he can. When he reaches his apartment, he walks up to the door and knocks on it. After a moment, Ambre answers the door. She is holding Y is one arm)


Ambre: Oh hi, Xtreme. What are you doing here?


Xtreme: Hi, Ambre, is Lost here?


Ambre: Sure, hold on a second.


(Ambre turns and yells)


Ambre: LOST, XTREME IS HERE!


(A loud crash is heard from Lost and Ambre's bedroom followed by Lost yelling some obscenities that are not audible. He then walks out of the bedroom, looking annoyed)


Lost: I was organizing my CDs and I dropped them all! What's so important...oh hey Xtreme. What's up?


Xtreme: Did Jake come by this morning and go somewhere with Minion?


Lost: Yeah, why?


Xtreme: Damn...well Jake has been watching so much Pokemon lately, he thinks they're real and he took Minion to go catch some!


Lost: But Pokemon aren't real, Xtreme.


Xtreme: I know...lord only knows what they could be up to.


Lost: Oh damn...you're right. You have to go find them before they get into big trouble.


Xtreme: Why can't you come help me?


(Lost begins to panic and tries to get out of going)


Lost: Because I uh...what Ambre? What is it?


Xtreme: Lost, Ambre is standing right next to you.


Lost: Ah-ha, so she is. Well then I...umm...have to finish with my CD's! Yeah that's it, my CD's. You better hurry, Xtreme. They could be in jail as we speak.


Xtreme: You're right, I better get moving.


(Xtreme turns and waves goodbye as he races out of Lost's apartment and to his car. He hops in and starts to wonder aloud where they could've gone)


Xtreme: Maybe to buy some new cards...no, Jake wants real Pokemon. Real Pokemon...real animals...to the pet shop!


(Xtreme floors it to the corner pet shop near his apartment. He walks in and asks the clerk behind the desk if he saw either Jake or Minion)


Xtreme: Excuse me, have two guys been in here trying to catch umm...Pokemon?


Clerk: On any other day I'd say get the hell out of my store, but today, yeah there were two guys in here earlier who wanted me to let the parakeets out of their cages so they could catch them in these little tin foil balls. I told them to get out of my store.


Xtreme: Do you have any idea where they could've gone?


Clerk: Nope sorry, but can I interest you in a puppy?


Xtreme: Not today.


(Xtreme walks back out to his car and sits in the driver seat for a minute before turning on the car, thinking to himself about where they could be now)


Xtreme: Well they were at the pet store but now where could they be? What is another place with lots of real animals...the park! But wait...the Pikachu Posse is also at the park...oh no, I better hurry!


(Xtreme turns on the car and floors it as fast he can over to the park near his apartment. When he reaches the park he gets out and heads over to the picnic area where the Pikachu Posse usually is. Sure enough, they are there at their table that has been tagged with crayon drawings of Pikachu's and other Pokemon. Xtreme casually walks up to them and taps Morton, the leader, on the shoulder. He turns around and stands up and look up at Xtreme)


Xtreme: Hey Morton, have you seen that guy that was with me the other day here today?


Morton: I dunno...I see a lot of things. How much is it worth to you?


(Xtreme produces a quarter from his pocket)


Xtreme: How about this nice, shiny quarter?


Morton: What do you think I am, a little kid?


Xtreme: Well, yeah.


Morton: Well that's all he's worth, I ain't seen nothing.


Xtreme: Fine...how about this crisp Abe Lincoln?


(Xtreme pulls a five dollar bill from his pocket)


Morton: Now you're talking...but my memory is a little hazy...


(Morton sticks his hand out. Xtreme pulls out another fiver and puts it in Morton's hand)


Morton: Yeah I seen 'em. Last time I saw 'em they were over by the trees in the playground. Are we done here?


Xtreme: Yeah, we're done.


(Morton sits back down and Xtreme heads for the playground area at a brisk walk. Once he reaches the playground equipment he looks around and starts to give up hope as he doesn't see them here. Just before he turns to leave, he sees Minion runs out from behind a large slide throwing tin foil balls at a squirrel. Xtreme runs over to him and grabs him on the shoulder)


Minion: Hey what’s the big idea! I almost had that Rattata!


Xtreme: Damnit, Minion that was just a squirrel! Pokemon aren't real, Minion! Pokemon aren't real!


(Xtreme begins to shake Minion and five or six tin foil pokeballs fall off of him and onto the ground. Xtreme stops and Jake shakes his head as if he suddenly sees clearly)


Minion: Yeah I remember now...that's just a squirrel...squirrels have rabies! I don't want rabies!


Xtreme: That's right, Minion. Now where's Jake? He started all this and we have to find him before he does anything stupid. Oh wait...this is Jake we're talking about, he's probably already done something stupid.


Minion: He left a few minutes before you showed up. He said he was going to the zoo to bag some big Pokemon.


Xtreme: Oh god, the zoo! He'll be eaten alive!


(Xtreme and Minion run across the park back to Xtreme's car. Once they reach it, Xtreme speeds off to the Philadelphia Zoo. He pulls into a parking spot and runs through the front gates and Minion follows)


Xtreme: Damnit, where could he be? Did he say what he was going after?


Minion: I have no idea, he didn't say.


Xtreme: Damnit...where could he be.


(Just then he realizes that everyone around him is rushing past him as if something is going on and Xtreme doesn't know about it. He stops a person and asks them)


Xtreme: Hey where is everyone going?


Guy: There's someone in the lion den in he won't come out.


(Turns to Jake)Xtreme: Sounds like Jake. Let's get going.


(Xtreme and Minion follow all the other people to the lion's den and push their way through the already large crowd gathering around the lion den. The lion's den isn't a cage like they have for tigers and such; the lion's den is a recessed open area surrounded by a deep drop off. Sure enough, Jake is in there tip toe-ing around the sleeping lions. A few zoo keepers are pleading with him to get out. God knows how he got in there, but he's in there now and he's about three minutes away from being eaten by a lion. The zoo keepers have extended a long ladder into the den in hopes to drag Jake out themselves. Xtreme pushes in front of them and climbs across it as fast as he can. Once in he makes his way to behind Jake, spins him around, and clamps onto both his arms so he can't move)


Jake: Hey what are you doing, Xtreme! I was about to get that Snorlax over there!


Xtreme: Jake, that's a goddamn lion, not a Snorlax! You've got to get out of here before one eats you!


Jake: The Snorlax are docile creatures. They wouldn't eat me.


Xtreme: Look at the bones, Jake. How do you think they got there? The lions ate something!


Jake: Xtreme, I think I am the resident Pokemon expert here.


Xtreme: Jake I didn't want to have to do this but you leave me no choice...


(Xtreme begins to slap Jake silly and he starts to yell. His yelling has apparently woken up one of the lions. Jake sees the lion coming their way but is too scared to speak. He only motions to the lion behind Xtreme but Xtreme isn't getting the hint)


Xtreme: What? What is it? What in the hell are you pointing at? Spit it out, man!


(Suddenly the crowd screams)


LOOK BEHIND YOU!



(Xtreme turns around to see a wide awake lion walking right for Jake and himself. They begin to start backing away but the lion starts to walk faster. Suddenly, from behind them, a zoo keeper throws a large piece of meat down into the den. The lion sees it and chases it. The moment the lion looks away, Jake and Xtreme book it for the ladder out of the den. Xtreme goes up first and Jake after him. They reach the top of it and climb out of the den. The people clap and cheer and the zoo keepers rush over to see if Jake and Xtreme are ok. Fortunately, they both are. Xtreme and Jake get up and begin to walk away as if nothing happened. They head for Xtreme's car and Minion follows)


Xtreme: I hope you're happy Jake. Once again your stupidity has almost gotten us killed!


Jake: I'm sorry, Xtreme and it'll probably never happen again. But I think there's one thing that we've all learned from this.


Xtreme: And that is?


Jake: Never throw tin foil balls at lions. Lions are very irritable.


(Yes…an important lesson for all. Xtreme, Jake, and Minion all head for Xtreme's car as yet another wacky adventure of Xtreme and Jake comes to a close. What will Jake get everyone into next time? The only way to find out is tune in next time, same bat time, same bat channel)

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]
Forum timezone: GMT-5
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.