South of The Border, Down Mexico Way -- GWA Insurrection Role-play board

The night drawn onto the sunny patch of lane grass, drawn down nicely after the frolicing of children on the path. Sitting upon a grassy hill with the wind blowing into your face was a kind thing to many people. Every day Amy Falan would enjoy that, even though she was capable of doing more things. Yes, once she was a full fledged actress who had dreams of Broadway but those fell though with mediocrity and the lack of intelligence inside of directors. She noticed herself being sided next to a large apple tree, the apples now growing on the branches and herlooking up with a book in her hand looking more like Issac Newton every day. Wearing nothing more than just a DKNY blue jean jacket and pants to match with stiletto high heels, Amy is looking her beautiful self as always.

As her belly begins to grow larger from the pregnancy that was bestowed upon her about two months ago, she doesn't care that people are going to stare even if thery happen to be her friends or enemies. Yet this was the thought of ever single fiber in her body including Drake's right now as she looked into the night's sky. Everywhere you could count on someone to be there with you for everything in which you took nothing for granted. It was the only thing that Drake could like upon her for these times and now, he came from behind her finding themselves inside of the park in the winter wonderland. Yet now with a Battle Royal match to win, Drake can only place Amy as second filler, a place that she thinks she doesn't belong.

Amy: "Having fun trying to be a FWF and GWA superstar?"

Drake looks at her, quizzically

Drake: "What are you talking about? I am a FWF superstar! and the GWA Maximus champion thank you very much!"

Amy walks around the apple tree and lands off of the hill and takes a seat onto a nearby bench. Drake still stands at the apple tree gawking at Amy.

Drake: " Wait a minute, your just placing everyone one of my losses in front of my face and you aren't there for show of support? How crazy is that?"

Amy: "I'll tell you how it is crazy, first you had a chance to become something in two weeks time thanks to Saotome, you get cut up and rushed to the hospital. Then you get beat by Anton Rayge after a defense of the Maximus title!"

Drake: "Hey, that last one wasn't my fault for Anton is just a greedy little person."

Amy: "Exactly, and that's why you don't lose to foreigners!

He got up from the seat on the bench and walked away from the park. Even though she knew that she didn't mean what she just said, he took that very heavily and started his journey elsewhere...

Amy: "Where are you going?"

Her voice rose to question as Drake did not give her that answer and continued his walk down Mexico Way. He was lonely for maybe the first time since he met her and wrestling. It was a feeling that he didn't what to meet again, but maybe that was his divine plan to lead himself into enlightenment.

Drake: "She doubts me, even with all of this surrounding us, she doubts me..."

As he continues his walk, the scenery around him is nothing more of just lonesome hard labor. The people keep to themselves and work on fields which have the outlook of just barrels and large patches of dust, no where to grow many crops. Drake looks at the people working on a nearby farm with a intent eye and then turns his head faced foward just to see where he is heading right now. Heading into a small shade from the night's sky, Drake opens a door and walks through it shutting it behind him. As we pan the camera up to the sign, we see the words: The Titty Twister.

The neon sign sits on top of the rudest, sleaziest, most crab-infested, strip joint, honky-tonk whorehouse in all of Mexico.

The Titty Twister is located out in the middle of nowheresville. It sits by itself with nothing around it for miles. A plethora of choppers and eighteen wheelers are parked out in front. The walls almost pulsate from the bassing loud and rauncy music within the structure. Signs cover the walls outside reading things like: "Nude Dancing," "Whores," "Beer," "Authentic Mexican Food," "Bikers and Truckers only," "Open Dusk Till Dawn," "Thursday Cockfight Night," "Wednesday Dogfight Night "El Diablo's Donkey Show Mondays," "Every Friday Night, Bare Knuckle Fight to the Death, Featuring the lovely Santanico Pandemonium," "Athena and Dandy the Wonder Pony," and"The Sleazy Titty Twister Dancers.

How in the world did Drake find a place like this? Well it wasn't on his To Do List, that's for sure...

In the parking lot, a biker and a truck driver beat the sh*t out of each other, one with a pipe, the other with a hammer. A second biker is having sex a Titty Twister whore against the wall. A greasy man, known as Chet Pussy, stands in the parking lot, soliciting customers through a Mr. Microphone.

Chet: "P*ssy, p*ssy, p*ssy! All p*ssy must go. At the Titty Twister we're slashing p*ssy in half! This is a p*ssy blow out! Make us an offer on our vast selection of p*ssy! We got white p*ssy, black p*ssy, Spanish p*ssy, yellow p*ssy, hot p*ssy, cold p*ssy, wet p*ssy, tight p*ssy, big p*ssy, bloody p*ssy, fat p*ssy, hairy p*ssy, smelly p*ssy, velvet p*ssy, silk p*ssy, Naugahyde p*ssy, snappin' p*ssy, horse p*ssy, dog p*ssy, mule p*ssy, fake p*ssy, even Mexican Devil p*ssy! If we don't have it, you don't want it!"

Drake walks toward the bar's entrance. Chet Pussy talks into the microphone.

Chet (yelling into the microphone): " Take advantage of our penny p*ssy sale. Buy any piece of p*ssy at our regular price, you get another piece of p*ssy, of equal or lesser value, for a penny. Now try and beat p*ssy for a penny! If you can find cheaper p*ssy anywhere, f*ck it!"

Drake: "Step aside asshole."

Chet pokes his finger in Drake's chest causing Drake to stare at him as if he had just made a death wish.

Chet: "Not so fast, Slick."

Drake grabs hold of Chet's finger, bends it backwards till the bone snaps in two. Chet lets out a scream in obvious pain. Drake violently brings his head forward pulverizing Chet's large nose. Chet falls to his knees in front of Drake. Drake hooks him with a powerful fist under his chin that snaps Chet's head back in a violent manner looking as if Chet were a mannequin head, and throws him on his back. After hitting the ground, Drake sends a hard savage kick straight to Chet's face, rolling him over.

Chet is OUT.

The whole altercation took less than ten seconds.

If the Titty Twister looked like the assh-le of the world from the outside, in the immortal words of Al Jolson, "You ain't seen nothin' yet." This is the kind of place where they sweep up the teeth and hose down the cum, the blood and the beer at closing.

In the back, topless dancers do lap dances with customers, while a sleazy sexy stripper strips to raunchy music played at eardrum-bursting level. Two men are in a savage bare knuckle fight, surrounded by screaming customers of bikers and truckers.

Drake walks in and takes a seat at the bar, paying no mind to the strrpiper on the on the main stage. He catches the barkeep with his eye and lures him to come over. The obviously Mexican barkeep speaks chopped up English which sounds like Spanish from Drake's perspective.

Barkeep: "So hombre, what'll it be?"

Drake looks back at the stripper who blows a kiss his way and turns back to the barkeep.

Drake: "Give me two shots of your finest Tequila."

Barkeep: "Okedoke."

The barkeep goes over to the drink area and gets a large bottle of Jack Daniel's Tequila and pours some into two small glasses that would only be drunken from by a small child. He pushes the two glasses with relative ease along side Drake's way and Drake catches thim with his right hand. Taking both of them, Drake with one hand and the other take both the of glasses and throw them up into the air in a diagnol position catching every amount of fluid that was in the glasses and slams the two glasses back onto the table.

A known member of a local biker gang, known as Razor Charlie gets up from his barkeeping job and onto the stage. He has slick black hair and and alot of Mexican Devil tattoos all over his chest. He grabs a greasy microphone that he uses to announce dancers and starts talking through it causing Drake's attention to go elsewhere.

Charlie: "And now for your viewing pleasure. The Mistress of the Macabre. The Epitome of Evil. The most sinister woman to dance on the face of the earth. Lowly dogs, get on your knees, bow your heads and worship at the feet of SANTANICO PANDEMONIUM!"

The lights go down low. A light hits the stage. The opening notes of the Coaster's "Down in Mexico" fills the room. The crowd hushes up from on their own talking and looking at the center of the stage. And on the stage steps Santanico Pandemonium.

This Mexican goddess is beautiful, but not the beauty that Stendhal described in "As the Promise of Happiness," but the beauty of the siren who lures men to their doom. She dances to the raunchy music, netlike she owned the stage, but like she owned the world.

And if the patrons of the Titty Twister are her world, the world is proud to be her possession. All activity in the bar, save Santanico, stops. Even Drake happens table falls under her spell.

When the music builds to its explosive section, Santanico leaps from the stage,landing in the middle of the room. She does an eyes-closed voodoo dance in perfect step with the beat.

As the music continues to play, a very f*cked-up looking Chet Pussy walks in. He goes over to Razor Charlie and points at Drake sitting down at a table, describing what happened.

As the last verse plays, Santanico, like a snake, comes up from the ground, on top of the table Drake is sitting at. Santanico scans the table, zeroing in on our boy Drake. She stands over him. While moving her body to the music, she lifts up the Tequila bottle from the table, and pours the Tequila down her leg. She lifts up her foot, with the Tequila dripping from her toes, and sticks it in Drake's face.

Santanico (to Drake in Spanish): "Drink up."

Drake, mesmerized, sucks the whiskey off her toes. The entire crowd and bar patrons go wild. Santanico smiles, master of all she surveys.

Across the room, Razor Charlie, Chet by his side, motions over Big Emilio. He begins explaining with pointing what Drake by himself did to Chet.

Drake continues to suck her toes.

The song ends, Santanico extracts her foot from Drake's mouth. Steps off the table. Takes a drink of Tequila. Looks down at the seated Drake.

She grabs the back of his hair, yanks his head back. His mouth opens because he thinks she is going to kiss him. She leans her face over his like she's going to kiss him. Then let's the Tequila from her mouth fall into his. They never touch. The crowd applauds. She lets go of Drake's hair.

Razor Charile looks at Chet who details what Drake did to him.

Razor Charile (to Chet in Spanish): "Which one?"

Chet (pointing at Drake): "This piece of #$^& broke my finger and my nose..."

That's all Big Emilio has to hear.

Big Emilio (to the seated Drake): "Up!"

Drake: "F*ck off, ape man"

Emilio takes his beefy hand and places it on his shoulder. Drake knocks the large hand off of his shoulder and takes the back of his fist and places it in the nose of the large man, creating a pile in the middle of the room. Drake stads up after a few moments of clamor a solid drip of blood drops from his face. The camera scans the crowd. The patrons are scared, but the waitresses, whores and dancers lick their lips.

Looking at Santanico's face, a special aroma fills hernostrils. Her eyes lock on Drake. The look on her face could easily be read as intense sexual desire. Her nose recedes, her face like a rodent's. The whites of her eyes turn yellow. The fangs of a beast protrude from her mouth.

Suddenly, the eyes of Big Emilio, Razor Charlie and Chet Pussy pop open. The "dead" men sit up with evil grins on their faces.

The patrons scream. A whore locks the front door (which is a complicated lock with steel rods going into the ground), turns toward the bar and yells:

Whore: "Dinner is served!"

The bikers and truckers who have been transfixed, watching the impossible, realize that the waitresses, naked dancers and whores who they were pawing just five minutes ago, have turned into yellow-eyed, razor-fanged, drool-dripping rising star title match at shanghaied 2 look alike vampires.

The vamps attack.

What follows is a shark feeding frenzy. Whores, who had been sitting on customer's laps, sink their teeth into unshaven necks.

Naked strippers and bikers wail the sh*t out of each other. Truckers get their heads caved in by women half their size. The patrons use whatever they can find to fend off the monsters: chairs, chair legs, broken bottles, switchblades, anything.

A bad ass biker named Frost, a rugged black man with a thick black beared and crop top hair cut with a hideous burn on the side of his face, stands on top of a pool table, swinging a pool cue, left to right, fending off vamps.

Big Emilio picks up a biker who stabbed him with a switchblade and throws the poor bastard from one end of the bar to the other.

The biker-winner of the bare knuckle fight, Sex Machine, goes head to head with a stripper.

The vamp might have superhuman strength, but Sex Machine has close to superhuman strength, and he's matching the vamp bitch blow for blow.

Then he grabs her by the waist, lifts her up over his head and brings her down hard on an upturned table, impaling her on the wooden leg.

Frost is still swinging his pool cue, when Razor Charlie appears, straight razor in hand.

Frost jumps off the table to meet the challenge. Razor Charlie swings at him, Frost leaps back, swinfging his pool cue at him. They do this dance, till Frost cracks Charlie upside the head with the pool cue, breaking it in half. Charlie feels the hit. Frost plunges the splintered end of the cue in Razor Charlie's heart.

Green blood comes out of his chest, as Charlie screams the vampire's death scream.

Drake comes to and finds Santanico standing over him. He tries to rise, but Santanico places her bare foot on his chest, pinning him down to the floor. He tries to move, but the pressure of her foot is equivalent to an engine block placed on his chest.

Santanico: " I'm not gonna drain you completely. You're gonna turn for me, You'll be my slave. You'll live for me. You'll eat bugs because I order it. Because I don't think you're worthy of human blood, you'll feed on the blood of stray dogs. You'll be my foot stool. And at my command, you'll lick the dog sh*t from my boot heel. Since you'll be my dog, your new name will be "Spot." Welcome to slavery."

Drake smirks at ger before taking a large piece of broken table wood and shoving it into her head right between her eyes. The vampire hunter falls to the ground, the stick piercing through her brain, killing her. As Drake pants to himself from exhaustion, he hears the big voice of Big Emilio call out.

Big Emilio: "Noooooooooooo!"

Big Emilio charges towards Sex Machine, like a runaway locomotive. Sex Machine stands his ground waiting for impact. The two huge men collide. What follows is literally a war of the Gargantuans. The two mastiffs pound each other till one buckles. Finally, the one who buckles first is Big Emilio, who hits the floor.

Once on the floor, Frost and Drake, stand over the huge vamp, beating him with clubs and pipes, like L.A.'s finest.

Sex Machine holds a pool cue in his hand. He snaps off the end tip, making it jagged, and like a spear, sticks it into big vamp's fallen body. Big Emilio, screams, twitches and dies. The pool cue sticks out straight up from the dead vamp.

Frost: "You can. You'll take it 'cause ya got no choice. How'd ya like twenty four hours of it, lying in a muddy ditch with only the rotting corpses of your friends to keep you company?"

Drake: "What are you talking about?"

Frost: "Back in '72 I was in Nam, trapped behind enemy lines, lying in a rathole with my entire squad dead. They thought they killed everybody, and except for me, they were right. But it wasn't for lack of trying. A grenade blew up right next to me, that's why I'm so pretty.

They thought I was dead, so I played dead. They dumped all the bodies in a ditch. All I could do was lie there playing possum. Dead bodies under me, dead bodies on top of me, listening to the enemy laugh and joke hour after hour after hour..."

As Frost goes into his monologue, the sound fades out and the camera moves to Sex Machine. He's having a hot flash. He can't hear anything. He's looking at Frost speaking, but he doesn't hear any sound. Then he hears a deep, male voice say:

Male voice: "Thirst."

"Who the f*ck was that?" he thinks to himself. He turns around: nobody's there. No one else in the group seems to hear it, A female voice seductively says:

Female voice: "Thirst."

We hear Sex Machine's thought in a voice answer.

Sex Machine: " Stop f*cking saying that!"

Two Male Voices: "Thirst!"

Sex Machine: "That bite weren't nothin'. It just hurt like a son-of-a-bitch, that's all. It barely punched the skin."

Sex Machine looks at Frost, who's acting out his story. The biker is pantomiming fighting and slashing. He's describing all the while, but we can't hear anything. All we hear are many voices, male, female, children saying:

Voices: "Thirst... Thirst... Thirst..."

Sex Machine begins looking at the other members of the group in a thirsty way. He stares at each of their necks, closer and closer until he can see the veins on Frost's neck actually pulsating, throbbing, beckoning to him. Sex Machine has turned into a vampire. The sound comes back as Frost finishes his story.

Frost: "...and then when I came back to my senses, I realized I had killed the entire V.C. squadron singlehandedly. My bayonet had blood and chunks of yellow flesh on it like some cannibal shish kabob. And to this day I don't have the slightest idea how I..."

Sex Machine lets out a hideous cry.

Sex Machine: "THIRST!"

Frost screams as Sex Machine grabs hold of him and bites into his neck.

The group tries to pull the two men apart. Drake gets his arm around Sex Machine's neck and tries pulling. Sex Machine takes his teeth out of the biker's neck and sinks them in the table missing Drake by only a few inches.

Sex Machine grabs frost and tosses him effortlessly over the bar, crashing into a shelf full of liquor bottles. Frost hops up and starts walking around the room, mad as a hornet, holding his bleeding neck.

Frost: "I been bit! He f*ckin' bit me!"

Sex Machine punches Drake in the face, dropping him like a sack of potatoes. Sex Machine turns, seeing Frost breaking off a big table leg. Frost looks at the big vamp.

Frost (to Sex Machine): " You're dead, motherf*cker! You're gonna bite me! You just turned me into a vampire, assh-le"

Sex Machine: "What are you gonna do about it?"

Frost, table leg in hand, runs, screaming his head off, straight at Sex Machine. Sex Machine's nostrils flare. He raises his meaty fist and pulls it back, so he can really haul off. Frost, top speed, stake raised, screaming. Sex Machine lets loose with his punch, while Drake looks up.

Frost's face collides with Sex Machine's fist. Sex Machine hits Frost so hard it lifts the biker off the ground and propels him through the air. Frost, in mid-air, hits the barricaded, plastered over window and crashes through it.

Sex Machine lets loose with a maniacal laugh. Hundreds of bat-things fly into the bar. Drake gets up and runs for the back room. Drake explodes, knocking over boxes, busting chairs, tipping over tables and cussing a blue streak.

Drake: "Fuck, piss, shit! Motherfuckin' Anton Rayge look alike vampires!"

Drake runs over to the barricaded door and yells to the creatures on the other side.

Drake: "You all are gonna fuckin' die! I'm gonna fuckin' kill every last one of you godless pieces of shit!"

About another two hours pass as Drake lets the door open and begins killing all of the vampires he finds inside of the bar finding sunlight at the very end. As Drake stands with his hands covered in green blood, a knock comes from the opening of the door. He walks over limping from all of the death he has caused and opens the door. Amy Falan is standing there looking at him Amy signals Drake to wait a minute while he catches his breath. Then he hauls off and slaps Drake square in the kisser!

Amy: "In all of the places in f'n Mexico, I find you at a strip joint!"

Drake says nothing to Amy and just mutters to himself.

Motherfuckin' Anton Rayge is going to get beat. All of the challengers to thy throne are gonna fuckin' get beat! I'm gonna fuckin' beat every last one of you godless pieces of shit!