"Your man might be with you...
but he's fantasizing about me!"
- Sarah

(Yes, folks, it's true. Doom's girlfriend, the sultry young woman known only as Sarah, has signed a contract with GWA to become a wrestler. And who is her first opponent on this coming edition of Wednesday Insurrection? Why, it's one of the FWF contingent, the man called Mercury. And who, exactly, is Mercury? Obviously, he's not the most loyal man on the planet, since he's working in both the GWA and the FWF. Some would call that "spreading himself a little too thin". Some would be right. But what does Sarah have to say about this man? Let's find out.)

(The scene opens up in the utilitarian living room of Doom's house in Phoenix, Arizona. Of course, Doom is present, drinking a beer and watching the Super Bowl. Several empty beer cans are scattered on the floor at his feet, mixed in with a load of empty pizza boxes. Eventually, the front door opens, and in walks Sarah with a load of mail. She shuts the door and sifts through it, pulling out an envelope with the GWA letterhead on it. She places one hand on Doom's shoulder, her gaze still fixed on the envelope. Doom looks up at her.)

Doom: Hmm?

Sarah: It's a letter. From the GWA.

(Excitement immediately comes to his face.)

Doom: Really?! Well, open it!

(She takes a seat on the arm of the chair, still holding the envelope, then extends it towards Doom.)

Sarah: I just couldn't stand it if it was a "no". You open it.

(Doom takes the envelope and rips it open, then unfolds the letter and clears his throat.)

Doom: "We the staff of the Gladiator Wrestling Association are pleased to welcome you to the ranks of our fine professional wrestlers."

(The start of an excited squeal comes from Sarah, but Doom shushes her.)

Doom: Hang on, there's more. "As the newest addition to the roster, we feel it is best to get you in the ring as quickly as possible. Therefore, your debut match is this Wednesday at Insurrection against the man called Mercury, a wrestler for both the GWA and the FWF. We hope you enjoy your stay here in the Gladiator Wrestling Association. Good luck! Signed, Steven Fury, Owner."

(He folds up the letter.)

Doom: An' that's it. Looks like yer a wrestler now, Sarah!

(She finishes her earlier squeal, then throws her arms around Doom's neck in an embrace. He returns the embrace for a second or two, then persuades her to release him after complaining that he can't breathe. After coughing a couple times, he looks up at the TV...just in time to catch the Super Bowl's final score.)

Doom: 20 to 17, New England. I'll be damned. The sumb*tches did it.

(Sarah chuckles.)

Sarah: Of course, honey. Don't you know we English always win?

(Doom looks up at her with an eyebrow raised, then rolls his eyes. She laughs.)

Doom: Somethin' ain't right in yer head, girl.

Sarah: Well, that much is obvious. After all, I hooked up with you, didn't I?

(This time they both laugh.)

Doom: Ya know, you seem to be pretty "on" right now, trash-talkin' wise, so while you still got yer roll on, what say we get a camera crew over here so you can talk about this Mercury jackass you've been booked against?

Sarah: Don't let me stop you.

(Doom picks up the phone and dials a number. After a few seconds...)

Doom: This is Doom. Yeah, the big bald redneck. I got my girl Sarah over here, an' she's ready to verbally rip this Mercury jackass a new one, so get the closest interview team over here pronto. Leon Sphinx? Hell, that's fine. At least she gets an interviewer with class. Five minutes? That'll work. Bye-bye, jackass.

(He hangs up the phone, then finishes his beer in one quick chug-a-lug. Sarah looks at him with a raised eyebrow.)

Sarah: You certainly have a way with people, don't you?

(Doom says nothing, opting to respond only with a chuckle. Sarah stands and enters the bathroom, taking the five minutes to do something with her hair. She exits the bathroom just in time to see Leon Sphinx and a camera man setting up in the living room, with Doom absent. Leon Sphinx spots her as she comes in, then walks over and extends his hand.)

Leon: You must be Sarah. I'm Leon Sphinx, and if I may be so bold as to say so, our cameras hardly do you justice.

(She takes his hand, blushing a little.)

Sarah: How very sweet of you to say so, Mr. Sphinx. Ahh, I was wondering. Do you know anything about this Mercury person I'm debuting against? All I know is that he's had something of a problem with Odyssey.

Leon: Sorry, that's all I know myself. I can tell you, though, that he hasn't said a word about you yet.

Sarah: Somehow, I'm not surprised. Well, let's get this interview started, shall we?

(Sarah and Leon take a seat on the sofa, the camera positioned in such a way to get both of them in the shot. As Leon picks up the microphone and looks towards the camera, the scene suddenly shifts to the view from the camera. Leon speaks.)

Leon: Hello, GWA fans! I'm Leon Sphinx, and I'm here with the newest addition to the women's roster and the woman who'll be taking on Mercury this Wednesday at Insurrection, the one and only Sarah.

(He turns to face her.)

Leon: First, let me welcome you to the ranks of the GWA's fine professional athletes. Now, Mercury has been silent thus far, but he is part of the FWF contingent and a participant in one of the double main events this Wednesday. What do you have to say about him?

Sarah: Well, what can I say? After all, it's rather hard to talk about someone when they're so damn cowardly that they won't even put in an appearance.

(Leon blinks, somewhat taken aback by this start to an interview, but she rolls right along, not giving him a chance to get a word in edgewise.)

Sarah: What's wrong, Mercury? Don't tell me you're scared of a little girl like me. There are only three women in this federation that are smaller than I am, and one of those three isn't even active at the moment. You can't even get up the guts to talk about me, but you're supposed to be a main eventer???

(She laughs.)

Sarah: You're a joke, mate. A bloody poor excuse for a wrestler. And come Wednesday at Insurrection, I promise that you'll be the first to feel the Brutality, and the first to get pinned for the three-count by me. Oh, and to the rest of you ladies out there, you can consider your days of superiority numbered. Lilith, Sianna Kane, Azul, Caprice DeLioncourte...oh, yes, especially Caprice DeLioncourte. You call yourself the "top bloody sheila" in the GWA? So you're the Falconer Champion. Trust me, Caprice, no one gives a damn. You're not the first woman to hold a man's title in this federation. No, that claim to fame belongs to Mei Himagaji and the Gladiator Title. If you're the top bloody sheila in this company, then I must say, the women's division is definitely in trouble. And to the rest of you ladies, remember this. It's only a matter of time before I drop you all with the Brutality and stake my claim as the next Valkyrie Champion. Just remember: Your man might be with you...but he's fantasizing about me!

(She smiles and winks at the camera, then stands and walks off. The scene fades to black, then to an advertisement about GWA Wednesday Insurrection.)

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