(Ya know, as I sit here in the evening between Saturday and Sunday, I can't help but wonder. Where did all the intelligent opponents go? Sure, there are skilled wrestlers out there, but what happened to the ones with brains in addition to brawn? It seems to me that most everyone around here has an IQ that could only register in the negative numbers, and this is most clearly demonstrated in the persons of Craig Robinson and Chris Cane. Craig because he seems intent on making the mistake of pissing off Drakestone, and Chris because he chose to challenge The Icon for The Icon's title in The Icon's specialty match. You see what I mean? Everywhere I look, retards abound. And what, pray tell, do Drakestone and The Icon think about this? Well, if you don't know by now, then pay attention, ya goof.)

(The scene opens up outside the Fox Meadows Special Education Center in Memphis, Tennessee, around noon. Eventually, a red '95 Corvette ZR-1 roars up the street and screeches to a halt at the curb in front of the building. The black drop-top lowers, and out hops Jim "The Icon" Daher, Falconer Title belt in hand. A Harley motors up and parks behind him, its rider identifiable as Drakestone. Drakestone shuts off his hog and dismounts, then walks over to The Icon. He glances over at the building, then returns his gaze to the Falconer Champion.)

Drakestone: Now, ya mind tellin' me what the hell we're doin' here?

(The Icon raises an eyebrow at Drakestone and smirks, giving the impression that the big man should already know the reason but will get it explained to him anyway.)

Jim "The Icon" Daher: Well, D, it's real simple. You an' I both agree that intelligence is a foreign concept in the GWA. I mean, let's be honest. I look around the GWA scene, and with very few exceptions, all I see are a bunch of mentally deficient babboons with delusions of mediocrity. And that brings me to why we're here. This here's the Fox Meadows Special Education Center, commonly known as "Retard Central" to the cruel bastards around here, and this is where the reeeeeaaaalllyyyy stupid people around here go to get their book learnin'. Now, I figure...what better place to learn how retards like our opponents might think than this place right here?

(Drakestone cocks an eyebrow quizzically, then mulls it over, stroking his goatee thoughtfully. After a short while, a smile slowly spreads across his face.)

Drakestone: Ya know, for once you actually came up with something that makes a little bit of sense.

The Icon: Why, thank y-...wait a minute. What do you mean, "for once"?

(Drakestone responds only by laughing. At that moment, the school bell rings, signalling the start of their break. (Recess, lunch period, whatever you wanna call it, same damn thing.) Almost immediately, a massive stream of students pour out the side of the building and spread out once outside, beginning to entertain themselves by various assorted methods. One kid sticks out from the group, because he's head and shoulders taller than everybody out there, not to mention being ripped, obvious even through his baggy clothes. But unfortunately, this hulking behemoth is also intellectually challenged, not to mention being a bully. He locks eyes on a small kid, then wipes his nose with the back of his hand and heads towards the kid, a devilish grin on his stupid face. The Icon raises an eyebrow at the big kid, then looks up at Drakestone.)

The Icon: Whatcha think? Should we rescue the little squirt?

(A smile comes to Drakestone's face.)

Drakestone: I don't see why not.

The Icon: A'ight, then. Let's go!

(With that, the two men head over to the playground. Drakestone, who stands even taller than the bully, gets behind the big kid and taps him on the shoulder.)

Drakestone: Leave the kid alone, ape.

(The bully instantly whirls to face Drakestone. The big kid sees that Drakestone is much bigger than he is, and various scars and tattoos testify to his toughness. Still, the bully remains stupid enough to take up the challenge.)

Bully: Duhhh, hey, what's da big idea?!

(Drakestone cocks an eyebrow at the bully.)

Drakestone: The "big idea" is that maybe you should try pickin' on somebody your own size.

Bully: Duhhh, like you?

(Drakestone shrugs.)

Drakestone: Whatever turns your crank.

(The bully swings a clumsy right at Drakestone, which he easily catches in his hand. Drakestone keeps a hold on the bully's fist, smiles, then squeezes, instantly sending the bully to his knees.)

Bully: Duhhh, I give! Uncle! Uncle! You win!

(Drakestone maintains his grip on the bully's fist.)

Drakestone: You gonna stop pickin' on people, ape?

Bully: Duhhh...

(Crunch!)

Bully: Ouch! Okay, okay! I'll stop pickin' on people! I swear!

(Drakestone smiles.)

Drakestone: Good.

(He releases the bully's fist with a shove, causing the bully to sprawl flat on his back. The bully instantly grabs his crushed fist as Drakestone looks down at him.)

Drakestone: Just remember: I will be watching, and the next time you pick on one of these kids...will be the last time you pick on anybody, ever. Got it?

(The bully whimpers, then nods. Satisfied, Drakestone walks off, trailed by The Icon. Back at their vehicles...)

Drakestone: I see what you mean now, Jim. I saw the look in that kid's face. He knew he was hopelessly overmatched, but he was stupid enough to give me a try anyway. It's kinda the same with Craig Robinson. Deep down, he already knows he's hopelessly overmatched, but he's so blamed stupid that he's willin' to take up the challenge anyway. In fact, he's already tried to get me pissed off. Didn't work, but just the fact that he tried raises serious questions about this guy's brain power. I got a feelin' I'm gonna enjoy terminatin' this fool. He's gonna serve as my lauching pad, 'cause I'm after one thing and one thing only: the GWA Gladiator Title. Yeah, I know, my record's not exactly stellar, but that's gonna change startin' right now. It's win at all costs from now on, and f*ck the consequences. There's been so many times I've been close enough to that belt I could almost taste it, but somethin' always happened to keep me from makin' that final leap. No more! I swear to you and whatever divinity you pray to, I will become the GWA Gladiator Champion, and everybody's gonna quickly learn that standin' between me and that belt...is the most dangerous place anybody could ever stand. As for Craig, he's just Step One on my quest for the Gladiator Title. If he wants to get crazy, that's just fine with me. I'll show him what crazy really is. Anybody doesn't like it, f*ck 'em. My goal is the Gladiator Title, and since Craig's the one standin' in my way, then he's the one I'm gonna make an example of. His Final Judgement has been passed. He should give his soul to the Lord...'cause his ass belongs to me.

(Finished with his rant, Drakestone mounts his Harley. The Icon chuckles.)

The Icon: So, you got aspirations on bein' Gladiator Champ, eh? Hell, that'd be kinda cool, especially if you can manage to do it while I'm still Falconer Champion. Two BoV guys at the top of the Heavyweight and Falconer divisions? Hell yeah, that'd kick ass. But first, I gotta get past "The Ignoramus" Chris Cane. Ya know, D, out of all the guys I've faced durin' my stay here in the GWA, this guy's gotta be the biggest dumbass of 'em all. He signs the contract to a title match against me...and makes it my specialty match? What a dumbass. Rule number one in wrestling: When you accept a champion's challenge to a title match, you never take him on in a type of match he's undefeated in! Obviously, I'm gonna have to show ol' boy Cane how big a mistake he made when he chose to face me in the Cell. I'm gonna have to show him why I'm the man, the myth, the legend, the only Falconer that matters, the summation of every man's aspirations, and the object of his girlfriend's masturbations! But more importantly than all that, I'm gonna have to show him what it's like to face somebody who actually has a brain. And after I drop him with The Icon's Smackdown and take my victory, I'll be right there in his face with a mic to say, "It's been fun, but I've got a title to defend, so thank you, and have a nice FRICKIN' day." A'ight, D. Let's head out.

(With that, The Icon hops into his 'Vette. The Icon and Drakestone start up and rev their vehicles, then roar on down the street and out of sight. The scene then slowly fades to black.)

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