Ace: “So, Thurston, why the ell did you challenge Daher and Rosuto to the match… why not just Daher?”

Thurston: “Trust me on this one, okay? We’re here to take care of dropping Daher down a notch… I already took care of Rosuto on Wednesday anyways, proved he’s no problem… I can just play him and Daher against each other, take Daher out of it, and I’ll have no problem with Rosuto.”

Ace: “Whatever you say, boss…”

Thurston: “They call this a post office… damn, you can tell you’re in the south when the post office is smaller than our shed, right Ace?”

Ace: “Most definitely, Thurston…”

Thurston: “Hey, dickwad, get that camera, rolling will you? We got to get some footage of me around here, digging around for trash on Jim Daher.”
The cameraman fiddles with his camera a bit while Thurston and Ace talk things over.

Ace: “I thought you had a whole file of information on this guy… and then you drag us out here. What gives?”

Thurston: “I know what I’m doing, just sit back and watch a master work.”

Ace: “If you say so… but why’d you have to drag me out into east bumblefuck here. I’m not going to be able to get then stench of cow shit out of my nose for a good week…”

Thurston: “Call it a learning experience…”

Cameraman: “Okay, Mr. Marshall, we’re ready to go when you are… rolling… now.”

Thurston turns to address the camera.

Thurston: “As you may well know, I have challenged Jim “The Icon” Daher and Azra’il Rosuto to a triple threat hardcore match for the Falconer Title next week. As many of you may also know, this last week I interfered in Daher’s title match, practically giving him the win over Chris Cane. Had it not been for me, there is a good chance that I would be facing Chris Cane for the title this coming Wednesday, not Jim Daher himself.”

Thurston walks up the sidewalk, past the post office, the camera following him. He halts in front of the door of a typical Southern diner. The camera pans inside, showing the half filled café and the customers eating. A microphone flies in from off camera, and Thurston catches it.

Thurston: “The famous Chinese philosopher Sun Tzu once said that to defeat the enemy, one must first know the enemy himself. So, in order to defeat Jim Daher, I have decided to make somewhat of a pilgrimage to his hometown, the place where he spent many of his formative years, Horn Lake, Mississippi. I have come to find out a little more about Jim Daher and the person he was, as well as the person he is now. And what better place to start than the local diner, a place where gossip and rumors abound, the center of communications in a one-stoplight town such as Horn Lake.”

Thurston enters the door to the café, followed by the cameraman. Ace and the fourth figure walk in behind to observe Thurston at work. Thurston walks up to the cash register, where a girl of approximately 19 years of age is working.

Thurston: “Good morning, miss… My name is Thurston Edward Marshall the Third… could I have the pleasure of yours?”

The girl takes one look at Thurston and breaks out in a smile.

Girl: “Oh, ah, hey there sweetie… oh, my name is Tiffany, but you can call me Tiff… or whatever else you’d like.”

Thurston: “Well, Tiff, do you know who I am?”

Tiff: “Yeah… aren’t you, like, some wrestler dude from television or something?”

Thurston: “That works for me… have you ever heard of the GWA?

Tiff: “Um…. Yeah, I think… hehe…”

Thurston: “Well, I’m a field reporter for them and I’m doing a background story on one of our wrestlers, who grew up in this area…. Have you lived in Horn Lake all your life?”

Tiff: “Uh… kind of. Me and my family moved from Arkansas when I was six…”

Thurston: “So you’ve been around here for a while… tell me, do you remember a boy, around your age named Jim Daher?”

Tiff: “Jim… Daher?”

Thurston: “Yes, that’s correct.”

Tiff: “Jim… hmmm… oh, now I remember him!”

Thurston: “Really?”

Tiff: “Yeah, he was friends with my twin brother Joseph… when we moved here, no one around here wanted to make friends with Joe in his class, so he started hanging out with this other kid who didn’t have any friends either, who they all made fun of because, this one day, in kindergarten, Jim shit… er, am I allowed to say that?”

Thurston: “Sure, you’re allowed to say that, it’s not that bad a word…”

Tiff: “Well, anyways, Jim shit his pants the first day of kindergarten. After that, all the kids would make fun of him, called him “Stinkypants Daher” and “Diaper-head Daher.” He was a lonely kid, he never played well with others on the playground…”

Thurston: “So how well did you know him?”

Tiff: “Not too well… Joe knew him, but Joe went off to college to play football, he isn’t around right now… ask Betty, the waitress over there, she was in the same year as us…”

Thurston: “Alright, thank you for your help, Tiff…”

Thurston grabs a check from on the counter and scribbles some stuff on the back of it, then pulls a twenty out of his pocket. He folds the twenty inside the check and slides it across the counter.

Thurston: “For your help, ma’am… and give me a call later. Where I’m staying is on there…”

Tiff: “Oh, most certainly, honey…”

Thurston winks at her and walks towards the back of the restaurant, where the waitress that Tiff had pointed out is standing, taking orders from a customer.

Thurston: “Excuse me, Betty?”

She holds her index finger up, motioning to wait a moment, and finishes writing down the order. She stands up and turns to face Thurston.

Thurston: “Hello, my name is Thurston Marshall, I’m a field reporter for the GWA…”

Betty: “The who?”

Thurston: “The GWA, we’re a wrestling association… I’m doing a background story on one of our wrestlers who used to live here in Horn Lake.”

Betty: “So, what do you want with me?”

Thurston: “Tiff over at the counter said that he went to school with you two. Said you might know a little about him, maybe we could get some sound bits from you, maybe you could tell us a little about him.”

Betty: “Okay, so, ah, who is this guy?”

Thurston: “Goes by the name Jim Daher…”

She breaks out laughing at this.

Betty: “Needledick Daher? A wrestler? You gotta be bullshitting me, is this Candid Camera?”

Thurston: “No ma’am, I’m afraid not.”

Betty: “Oh, I know a lot about Jimmy…”

Thurston: “Such as…?”

Betty: “Well, what do you want to know?”

Thurston: “You could tell us about Jim in school, what he was like, what his social life was like… stuff like that could help us out.”

Betty: “Well, let’s see… He wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer, I know one time they were talking about sending him to this “special school”…. I forget the name… Wolf Run… Fox Chase…”

Thurston: “Fox Meadows?”

Betty: “Yeah, that’s it! Jim was originally from Memphis, and then when I was 16, he moved back there… The rumor was that he had gone back to Memphis to be enrolled in that place… wouldn’t surprise me.”

Thurston: “What about his social life? Any friends, girlfriends?”

Betty: “You know, I don’t think he ever had a girlfriend. There was a lot of speculation that he was gay… I heard that this one time, after gym class, he got his ass kicked because one of the bigger guys in his class was getting in the showers and… this is kind of sick.”

Thurston: “Go ahead and tell it anyways, if it’s too sick we’ll cut it out.”

Betty: “Okay, cool… well, so this big guy was getting in the showers, and he felt something poke him in the butt from behind… and he turned around… and Jim was just standing right there, with this big smile on his face! That is soooooooo sick, I can’t believe he would do that…”

Thurston: “Yeah, we may have to cut that out… so, is there anything else you want to tell us about him, anything significant?”

Betty: “Not really… he never really got along with to many people… are you going to his old house, too?

Thurston: “We were thinking about it… do you know where it is?”

Betty: “Yeah, here, let me draw you directions…”

She rips a check off her pad and begins to write on it. Thurston turns and nods to Ace, who walks out of the diner. Thurston winks at Tiff, who smiles a bashful smile, then turns back to Betty, who hands him the paper.

Betty: “Here you go, Mr. Marshall… a new family moved in there, name of LeMond, you might want to call ahead.”

Thurston: “Well, thanks a lot for your help ma’am… we may have to stop back here later to grab a bite to eat, so you may see us around…”

Betty: “Cool…”

Thurston reaches into his pocket and pulls out a twenty, proffers it to Betty between his thumb and forefinger. She looks around, then takes it, sticking it in her back pocket.

Betty: “Thanks!”

Thurston: “No, thank you…”

Thurston turns and motions for the camera man to stop filming. A moment later, the camera stops whirring and Thurston walks out, followed by the cameraman. Ace and the fourth figure are waiting by the car.

Thurston: “Well, I got the address where he used to live, we’re going to head out there…”

Ace: “Can you believe the stories about Daher we’re getting? I mean, I almost lost it when that second girl was talking about the shower incident…”

Thurston: “He say’s he’s the object of my girlfriend’s masturbations? Well, I know for a fact that she doesn’t go for homosexuals, so I guess not, eh?”

The Figure: “I guess that would explain what’s up with him and Drakestone, right?”

Thurston: “Yeah, apparently Daher has a real hard-on about big men… Literally. That would explain why we never actually see either of them with any women.”

Ace: “I guess that would make Drakestone the bitch then, right?”

All four of them get a good laugh out of this one, Ace laughing so hard he almost breaks out in tears.

Thurston: “Oh yeah, I can see that… But I wonder how Daher gets it to Bedlam?”

Ace stops for a moment, then grimaces.

Ace: “That’s just wrong, man. You’re horrible…”

Thurston: “Well, let’s get rolling out to the old Daher household, see what we can dig up at the house, maybe talk to the neighbors… sound good?”

Ace: “Sounds like a plan to me… so, Thurston, are you going to invite that sweet piece of ass at the cash register out for the night?”

Thurston: “Maybe… I gave her my cell number, I expect a call… we’ll get her out of this little backwater burg and show her the real world, show her what it’s like to be large and in charge. She’s probably too used to hanging around with people like Daher and all his yee-haw, three-toothed redneck cousin-banging peers in this jerkwater town. We’ll show her what real men are made of…”

Ace: “I hear that, bro…”

Thurston: “C’mon men, we got some more work to do before we get to partying… onward ho, to the old Daher estate!”

Ace: “Estate? Probably more like a trailer, an outhouse and about ten cars broken down and lying around the house…”

Thurston: “Eh, shut up and get in the car… We’re rollin’”

They climb in the cars, which pull out into the street, cutting off traffic, roaring through the stoplight and out of town, headed to the old Daher residence.