The Man
The Myth
The Legend
Your Undisputed Falconer Champion
(and likely to stay that way)
Jim "The Icon" Daher

(Well, after viewing the latest promo from little friend Charlie Dream, I simply have to ask. Whoever said The Icon wasn't hardcore? Since when does being small in stature automatically translate into an inability to perform in hardcore matches? Look at the WWF's Hardy Boyz and the hardcore matches they've been in. They've been in Ladder Matches, Cage Matches, TLC Matches, and Table Matches, which they've kicked royal ass in, and they're two of the smallest athletes in the WWF. Apparently, old Mr. Dream hasn't done his homework, because if he had, he would have found that...well, I'll let The Icon tell it, 'cause he can put it in much better terms than I can.)

(The scene opens up backstage at the Gladie Awards show, which has only a few minutes ago gone off the air. A GWA camera locates Jim "The Icon" Daher back here, the Falconer Title belt slung over his shoulder as he talks with Doom's valet, Sarah. The camera stays out of sight and records the entire conversation.)

Jim "The Icon" Daher: ...and ya wanna know the funny part about this whole Charlie Dream situation? He actually thinks I'm not hardcore.

(Sarah chuckles.)

Sarah: Well, he's gonna be in for a bloody rude awakening then, won't he?

The Icon: Yeah, he will. I guess he hasn't asked himself yet how I won this title the first time. If he had, and done a small amount of research, he would've known that I won it the first time by defeating Jack Otis in a TLC Match. Kept it for nearly a month before losin' it to Ryosuke Mitsurugi, who has since disappeared. I can't for the life of me figure out why he left, though.

Sarah: Probably didn't care for your flying lessons, mate.

(They both laugh.)

The Icon: Somethin' else that's botherin' me. Where the hellfire and brimstone does he get off sayin' I haven't proven myself to be an icon? I'm a two-time Falconer Champion, still goin' strong on my second title reign, and I've willingly - willingly - put the belt on the line against whoever wants a shot at it. Is that the approach of a paper champion? Hell no. A paper champion is somebody that needs help to win the title and help to keep the title. A paper champion is somebody that only defends his belt when he or she is contractually obligated to. A paper champion...is not what I am. He was right about one thing, though. I do like to make the fans happy, make 'em blow the roof off when I make my entrance. I ask you...what's wrong with that?

Sarah: Not a bloody thing as far as I can see, mate.

The Icon: Exactly! Those fans pay good money to see a good show, so why shouldn't I do my damnedest to give them a great show? His logic makes no sense to me. I have always been a consummate showman, and will very likely continue to be a consummate showman until the day I die. The fans want to see something settled, so I'm gonna give 'em that chance.

Sarah: Makes sense to me.

The Icon: Now, ya wanna know just how witless he is? This fool has already admitted that he's not hardcore. Anyone with any brains knows that you never admit a fault to your opponent. I, on the other hand, am extremely hardcore, and this just happens to be a variation on the Hell in a Cell Match, which I just happen to be undefeated in. Advantage: me. This match was called an Icon's Vengeance Match not as a reference to Charlie, but as a reference to the man, the myth, the legend, the only Falconer that matters, the summation of every man's aspirations, and the object of his girlfriend's masturbations, I'm talkin' about the undisputed GWA Falconer Champion, your hero and role model, Jim "The Icon" Daher. He's already accepted my challenge, even though he knows full well that he's outmatched, outclassed, and just generally outdone in every single way. And after I beat him, I'm gonna get right down in his face and say, "This feud is officially over, so get your punk ass outta my federation...and have a nice FRICKIN' day." Come on, Sarah. The boys are waitin' on us.

(With that, The Icon and Sarah turn and leave the building. The scene slowly fades to black, then to an advertisement about the Icon's Vengeance Match at GWA End of Innocence.)

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