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( The scene opens with Talon and Rozz on the side of the road trying to get a ride to Rayne's house)
Talon: Man we gotta get the hell out of here, it’s starting to get dark. Rozz: Man how the hell do we hitch hike? Talon: How do you think stupid? You stick your thumb out and wait for someone to pick you up. Rozz: Man you know people wont pick us up, people these days don’t pick up hitch hikers anymore. Talon: Man let’s just start walking and when cars come by just stick your thumb out and hope for the best. Rozz: Ok man let’s just go, it’s only about 50 miles to Rayne's house anyway, maybe we can find a town on the way or something. Talon: I'm not sure if there is a town on the way, I remember ever seeing any. Rozz: Yea me either, im just hoping is all. Talon: Dude look there’s a car coming… stick out your thumb !!! ( Rozz and Talon Stick out there thumb and hope for the best, the car goes by not even looking back at the two hitch hikers) Rozz: God this sucks man, no ones ever going to pick us up. Talon: Well man what else is there to do man? I can’t think of anything else, you dropped the cell phone like a dip shit. Rozz: It’s not my fault you can’t catch a phone… geez man. Talon: Man just shut up and keep walking so we can get out of here. Rozz: Hey a cars coming, inst that Hayle? Talon: YES IT IS HAYLE WERE SAVED MAN, HE’LL PICK US UP FOR SURE. Rozz: Yes he’ll give us a ride. ( Talon and Rozz stand out in the road yelling at Hayle, trying to get him to pull over) Talon: HAYLE PULL OVER MAN, IT’S US, PULL OVER MAN. Rozz: HAYLE PULL OVER MAN, PULL OVER PULL OVER PULL OVER. ( The car pulls over about 50 feet ahead of them, Talon and Rozz start running like mad men to the car, Talon and Rozz get 10 feet from the car and the car takes off, and drives 20 more feet and stops) Talon: Man what's he doing? He’s playing games with us, im not in the mood for games. Rozz: Man no shit, you think I am? HAYLE STOP FUCKING AROUND WE NEED A RIDE JUST STOP THE CAR MAN. ( Hayle looks out the window and says “ Come on guys get in, I don’t have all day” Talon and Rozz run to the car and Hayle drives 20 more feet and stops the car again) Hayle: Come on guys, if you don’t get here in 2 minutes im leaving your asses. Talon: Dude stop driving away then you dick head. Rozz: Man just stop and let us in the damn car. ( Talon and Rozz run over the the car again, then Hayle drives away out of site, leaving Talon and Rozz on the side of the road) Talon: Man I cannot believe he just did that to us, what an asshole he is, some friend’s we have, always fucken around. Rozz: Man dude this sucks, I can’t believe this is happening to us. ( The car goes out of site while Hayle sticks his arm out of the window and flipping them off, and yelling see ya suckers) ( Rozz picks up a rock and trys to throw it at Hayles car) Talon: Yea man like your going to hit a moving car going 50 MPH with a damn rock, is that rock your daddy or something? Cause I see you picked up it’s Witt’s. Rozz: Man just shut the fuck up, im not in the mood for your smart ass mouth. Talon: Man we gotta figure out how to get the hell out of here, this just doesn’t seem to be working. Rozz: Ya think man???? Talon: Man look another car is coming. Rozz: Man that’s not a car, that’s a big rig, truckers pick up hitch hikers all the time! ( Talon and Rozz Stick out there thumb and wave there arms wildly hoping the truck will stop, the truck pulls over and let’s them in the to truck) Talon: Man thank you so much for picking us up, you don’t even know how long we’ve been out there trying to get a ride. Rozz: Man thanks a lot. ( The Trucker says no prob, and ask’s where there going) Talon: Where going to St Clair, can you take us there? ( The Trucker replies with yes, I can take you there, I’ll be passing right by there, the trucker says my name is Bill Declue nice to meet you guys, but you can call me Bill, so what's your names and why are you guys hitch hiking anyway?) Talon: Well my name is Black Talon and this is Rozz, we hit a deer coming back from St Louis, and now my car is all fucked up. Bill: Ahh I see, you must have been going pretty fast, cause a deer doesn’t do that much damage does it? Rozz: Well this dumb ass was going like 180 MPH showing off his car. Bill: 180 MPH? Good God man, that’s a little fast for these roads, what kind of car did you have anyway? Talon: It’s a black viper… Bill: A viper? What are you rich or something? Talon: Rozz and I are wrestlers in the GWA Bill: What the fuck is a GWA? Talon: That’s a wrestling fed… like the WWF but must better. Bill: You guys are wrestlers? Talon: Yes we are, we just got back from are last match, we was on or way home. Bill: So did you guys win your match? Rozz: Man im not in the mood to tell any jokes I just wanna get home. Talon: Bill you know any good jokes? Bill: Not off hand I don’t… I’ll have to think for a while and get some in my head. Talon: Well I know some good Jason Marah jokes!! Bill: Who’s that? Talon: The man I faced in my last match, he thing’s he’s God’s gift to the world…. I beat him top pulp in or match and he got a sucker punch at the last minute and got the pin… matter of fact I don’t even think he touched me till that point in the match, then last night he was mouthing me saying I had no talent… when in fact I beat him to a pulp, any time he wants a 1x1 match I would happy to hand his ass to him on a silver platter. Bill: Well let’s hear some of those jokes you got going…. Talon: Ok… well, here’s one… Jason Marah is so fat… when he goes camping the damn bears have to hide their food…. Bill: That’s not to bad, I know a good joke, have you guys ever heard the poopie list? Talon: The poopie list? What the hell is that? Rozz: What the hell is a poopie list? Bill: Well you know what the ghost poopie is right? Talon: No im don’t know what your talking about please explain… Bill: Ghost Poopie- The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet. Talon: OH MY GOD MAN, THAT’S ONE OF THE FUNNEST THINGS I’V EVER HEARD… YOU GOT MORE OF THOSE??? Bill: Oh man I got ton’s of them let me tell you some more of those real fast. There’s also… Clean Poopie , The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper. Wet Poopie- The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and still feels unwipped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear, so you won't ruin them with a stain. Second Wave Poopie- This happens when you're done poopieing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees and you realize that you have to poopie some more. Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-Poopie- The kind were you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke. Lincoln Log Poopie- The kind of poopie that is so huge, your afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush. Gassy Poopie- It's so noisy, everyone within earshot is giggling. Corn Poopie- Self explanatory. Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Poopie-Poopie- The kind where you want to poopie, but all you do is sit on the toilet & fart a few times. Spinal Tap Poopie- That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you'd swear it was leaving sideways. Wet Cheeks Poopie- ( The power dump) Liquid Poopie- The kind where yellowish brown liquid shoots out of your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl. Mexican Poopie- It smells so bad your nose burns. Upper Class Poopie- The kind of poopie that doesn't smell. The Surprise Poopie- You are not even at the toilet because you are sure your about to fart, but OOPS!- a poopie! The Dangling Poopie- This poopie refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done poopieing. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose. The Bloody Poopie- When it scrapes you so bad coming out, you think your bleeding. Snow Ball Poopie- The kind of poopie that comes out in little balls The Blob Poopie- the green poopie that splatters everywhere with chunks in it. Mini-me Poopie- The kind of poopie that looks so much like yourself that you want to take it out of the toilet to keep. Squish Through Your Toes Poopie- you know..when you're trying to pottie train a puppie and they lay one right in the middle of the floor and you step in it first thing in the morning...of course it's still dark out when this happens.....uuuggghhhh!!!! The Gigantic Poopie- The type of poopie where you have to flush the toilet half way through, or else it will overflow. Fire Poopie- The kind of poopie that squirts out of your butt and stings so bad, that it feels like it's on fire. ( Talon and Rozz are rolling in there seats laughing so hard they cant breath) Talon: Man where in the hell did you hear that crap? Bill: Well when you drive in a truck for days at a time you hear some pretty fucked up shit on the CB radio you hear a lot of things on there. Talon: My god man I have never ever heard anything that before, I thought you might of found that stuff on the Internet or something… Bill: What the fuck is the Internet?? Talon: Your kidding right? Bill: Does it look like im kidding…. Talon: Man the internet is a place where you can find info on just about any thing you want, people go there to chat and look shit up, you can play games there, you can do just about anything you want there man. Bill: Hmmm I’ll have to look in to that someday. Rozz: Dude your kidding right? There is no way you have never heard of the Internet…. The Internet is like the the new age of doing things… people shop on the net for god sakes… Bill: Well when you drive a truck for a living there’s not much to do but listion to the radio, and try to find chick’s to talk to over the CB, is there porn on this so called internet? Talon: Dude the net is porn central… you can find ANYONE NUDE on there. Bill: Well damn how do I get one of those Internet’s? Rozz: You have to have a computer man… Bill: What's a computer? Talon: Dude… where did you grow up? You’ve never heard of a damn computer? Bill: I grew up in a little town called, Potosi, that’s in Missouri… Talon: AHHHH that explains it… your small town boy like Rade, do you shop at the dollar store too? Bill: Well yea who doesn’t? ( Talon and Rozz look at each other and crack up laughing) Bill: What's so funny? Talon: Nothing Bill… look there’s St Clair… you can drop us off here, we can just call a cab… do you need some money or anything for giving us a lift? Bill: Yea just give me what you can, money is always welcome in my pocket…. Talon: Ok… Rozz pay him some money… Rozz: Me? Why me why do I always have to pay. Talon: I bought lunch, just give him some damn money so we can leave. Rozz: Fine… you damn tight ass. ( Rozz Gives Bill 50 bucks for the ride) Bill: Thanks a lot guys, you guys was fun talking to, you guys have good luck with your GWA or what ever it is… Talon: Thanks for the ride Bill… you take care Rozz: Yea thanks man for the ride. Talon: Phew im glad where out of that truck, his truck stunk man, hey Rozz. Rozz: Yea? Talon: Isn’t that Hayles car? Look man over at fast lane… is that his car? Rozz: Dude I think it is his car… you thinking what im thinking? Talon: Hell yea I am, let’s go pay that motherfucker back for leaving us in the middle of nowhere. ( Talon and Rozz walk over to the car… they look inside and see Hayle eating at Taco Bell inside the building) Rozz: Man what can we do to his car? Talon: I think I got just the thing… it’s little gross man, but if you wanna get him back this will for sure piss him off…. Rozz: What did you have in mind… Talon: Well see what you do is blow your nose and wipe your boogers under the door handle… Rozz: Dude that’s so gross… I cant believe you would even think of something like…. Geez man…. Talon: Well you wanna do it or not??? Rozz: Yea sounds like fun, that’s a good pay back for his ass… ( Talon and Rozz Blow there noses on a piece of paper and wipe it under the handle of Hayles car and run beside the trash can and wait for Hayle to come out) Talon: It should be soon… he was almost done eating I think… Rozz: Wait look he’s coming out… watch this is gonna be hella funny !! ( Hayle comes out to the car, and opens the door, he looks at his fingers and looks around, he yell’s what the fuck is this shit? He says to himself is that what I think it is? That looks like boogers to me, Hayle looks around and see’s Talon and Rozz beside the trash can rolling on the ground laughing their Asses off, and takes off running to them like a bat out of hell.) Talon: Oh shit man he looks pissed we better get out of here man. Rozz: Yea I know the back way out of here’s let’s go man. ( The Scene fades to Black)
Talon: Never mind that, does anyone know any good jokes or some thing?
The Blow Me Off the Toilet Seat Poopie- One big blast of gas that your butt cheeks are blown off the toilet seat before you can even get the poopie out.
TO BE CONTINUED …
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